I half considered replying to the Request for Proposals that Homeland Security circulated for companies to build Trump’s multi-billion-dollar border wall. Perhaps a wall made from ocotillo limbs, like the fences the Tohono O’odham erected, would not only suffice but be culturally appropriate, since their reservation spans the US and Mexico (they reject the wall through their Nation in no uncertain terms). Or we could pile all the shit Trump’s been spewing in his first months, and create a monster wall that could be seen from space.
The deadline for responding to the RFP, though, was Tuesday, and I didn’t qualify because one stipulation says your company must have completed a similar security project worth at least $25 million. The most I’ve done is hang a smoke detector in our condo. On the other hand, there are hundreds of unprincipled and money-grubbing companies who did file an application, although at least one business applied under a different name because its employees thought the project so distasteful that there could be negative repercussions.
With as many as 400 companies expected to meet today’s deadline and turn in their proposals to build President Trump’s border wall, some of the ideas already floated are off the charts:
Think “Solar Panel Wall” and “Monorail Wall” and “Nuclear Waste Wall.”
By June 1, as many as ten proposals are expected to be approved for the next round, where each bidder will receive up to $500,000 to build a 30-foot prototype near San Diego.
One proposal would pay for the boondoggle by selling memorials that people can apply to the wall. It appears the idea is to sell wall plaques, the way some museums or libraries do, but all I could imagine was something like the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall, only with the names of people killed crossing the border.
Other proposals run a walkway or even a monorail along the top of the wall, because we know how busy that Yuma-Nogales-El Paso corridor is! More than a few bidders propose using solar power panels—a twofer that creates a barrier while producing clean energy. At least one proposal combines a monorail and solar, powering the train with the energy produced (although Trump prefers a coal-powered train).
Speaking of energy, a Pittsburgh company suggests burying toxic nuclear waste along the border as a deterrent. I imagine it would deter immigrants, but it would likely deter anyone from living there too.
I’m attracted to the bid submitted by the Otra Nation, which suggests a hyper-loop train system, but no permanent wall, that would “Create a resilient response to the current issues surrounding the border between the United States of America and Mexico, through the creation of the world’s first Regenerative Open Co-nation.” Essentially, they’re establishing their own country along the border, focusing on health, the economy, culture and the environment. If their proposal is chosen, they will begin accepting applications for Otra citizenship immediately.
Always happy to help taxpayers, I would build my wall for much, much less than Homeland Security has budgeted.