I write this in a hotel room in Madison WI, where I have just returned after attending the wedding/reception of the youngest of my wife’s four siblings, a sister who is finishing her doctorate in African Art here at Wisconsin, and is now married to a very fine gentleman who works for Amazon.
The wedding and reception were held at the Aldo Leopold Nature Center, the wedding itself outside in a grove covered by trees, which turn out to be fortunate.
The ceremony started a bit late, which is actually traditional among these siblings (ours started 45 minutes late). It was interrupted twice by rain, from which the canopy protected us for a while, but not completely. It was resumed and largely completed outside, with a few optional parts moved indoors as part of the reception. But the rainful meant that we had a rainbow, and rainbows were very much connected with the deceased (in 2012, while I was at Netroots Nation) mother of the bride, which very much cheered the family, because it gave them a sense of her presence.
The matron of honor was one sister. The four sisters had paired off early in childhood, with the two oldest and the two youngest agreeing to serve as each other’s honor attendant (maid or matron of honor depending upon status at the time). The two daughters of the one brother in the family carried her train and then brought the rings up. Her eldest sister read two poems selected by the bridal couple. Someone on his side read two Biblical passages. One nephew read a poem at the reception. One brother-in-law who has traveled through multiple religions offered a few words and the Shehechianu prayer — the bride’s family was centuries ago in Europe Jewish and her sister is close with a distance cousin who still is.
The main officiant is married to a woman who grew up in the house adjacent to the bride’s childhood home, and that womn’s parents, who were like a second family, were there.
Friends and family of the groom were also present.
When you have known someone since they were a small child, not yet three, watched them grow up, try various things (including some success as an off—off-Broadway actress), complete an education later in life (something I can appreciate given my own history), find a passion at which she is good (African Art) and still find someone who appreciates and cherishes her, and is willing to adjust his life to what her job opportunities might be, well, that is a very special.
I know there is pain in our society.
I know there are issues that require our attention, that require my attention.
And yet, for an evening, none of that seemed to matter as the several dozen of us there participated in the joy of a couple that we love and respect officially starting their joint life together.
Peace.