From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
What a Difference 24 Years Makes
I'll preface this with a HUGE disclaimer that the modern Republican party has gone off the rails and is taking sledgehammers to the foundation of our republic that's supposed to be based on vigorous debate, compromise, and respect for basic facts, established procedures and public opinion. They're a power-mad, thankfully-shrinking herd of orcs desperately trying to become our sole political party headed by a dictator and they're in desperate need of a good clobbering.
Having said that, I admit I was pleasantly surprised by the speed and vigor with which many Republicans have defended the thousands of transgender patriots and heroes serving in our nation's military from Five-Deferment-Donald's vicious Wednesday surprise attack. Here are just three examples that shocked me. Just seven years ago, they voted against repealing the 1993 "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy that had kicked 13,000 gay and lesbian servicemembers out. (Hatch didn't make the vote, but tweeted his opposition to repealing it.) If you remember those dark days when DADT was first enacted, these statements from three crusty old hardliners are pretty remarkable:
Orrin Hatch (R-UT): "People who are transgender don’t choose to be transgender. Why should we hold that against them? They're human beings, and many of them are extremely elegant human beings. We should be open to everybody."
John McCain (R-AZ): "The Department of Defense has already decided to allow currently-serving transgender individuals to stay in the military, and many are serving honorably today. Any American who meets current medical and readiness standards should be allowed to continue serving. There is no reason to force service members who are able to fight, train, and deploy to leave the military---regardless of their gender identity. We should all be guided by the principle that any American who wants to serve our country and is able to meet the standards should have the opportunity to do so---and should be treated as the patriots they are."
Richard Shelby (R-AL): "You ought to treat everybody fairly and give everybody a chance to serve. … The current policy is a big tent for people who want to serve."
There's a shit-ton of work to do before transgender Americans achieve full equality in this country, where equality for all should be a freaking no-brainer. But it's still nice to see cracks in the wall, especially if you remember how hysterical Republicans acted in '93 over the DADT ban-in-all-but-name. Let's just hope that when it comes to actually fighting Trump's cruel and security-endangering political stunt, their deeds reflect their words.
Okay, time to head downstairs. Kiddie pool’s open and filled tonight with Mitch McConnell’s tears (and lots of extra chlorine). Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, July 28, 2017
Note: Just a quick heads-up that there will be no C&J on Monday as we'll be taking inventory in the Giant Liberal Armory to assess our preparedness for the War On Christmas. (I think we're low on powdered milk and barrage balloons). Back Tuesday with an order for several more fruitcake catapults and a sure-fire battle plan. (Once we capture Branson, Missouri, the rest of Foxlandia will go down like dominoes.) ---Field Marshal Billeh
-
By the Numbers:
Days 'til India Pale Ale Day: 6
Days 'til the Wyoming State Fair: 15
Margin by which voters say Robert Mueller should not be fired in the middle of his special investigation, according to a Politico-Morning Consult poll: 2:1
Odds of getting hit by lightning and dying in a terrorist attack, respectively: 1-in-700,000 /1-in-9,300,000
Percent of Democrats who believe, in the same poll, that Hillary Clinton won the electoral college vote: 24%
Percent of workers who negotiated their salary and got a raise, respectively, according to USA Today: 29%, 84%
Rank of Louisiana and Mississippi among states that get the highest amount of state revenue (42%) from the federal government: #1 (tie)
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: What, like you've never seen a secret husky panda before?
-
CHEERS to historic moments in collective exhaling. There's nothing like going to bed knowing with every fiber of your being that Republicans are going to pass a piece of shit bill that will likely result in the loss of your health insurance, then waking up to find out that…surprise!!!...the universe has punk'd you. By a vote of 51-49, "skinny Trumpcare" went down in flames, thanks to a united Democratic front and three GOP senators (Collins, Murkowsky and McCain) that went rogue. So, having survived Repeal & Replace, Replace & Repeal, Repeal Only, Duck & Cover, Turner & Hooch, and Do The Hokey Pokey & Turn Yourself Around (all written on the back of McConnell's bourbon-soaked cocktail napkins), the Affordable Care Act lives to protect the health of millions of Americans for another day. For the archives, here's the moment McCain voted no, handing McConnell his evil head on a platter:
-
And we all lived happily ever after. For at least this weekend.
P.S. A reminder that the bulk of the credit goes to the chamber’s womenfolk:
CHEERS to throwing the bum out. Whoa! Did you hear about this? Earlier today the country's leader RESIGNED(!!!) after the Supreme Court---the SUPREME COURT!!!---ruled that he's unfit to serve, after which they ordered "a criminal investigation into his family over corruption allegations." Wow, what a stunning development in…[Reads the fine print]…Oh...[Sigh]…Pakistan. Phooey.
CHEERS to Bubba's foresight. Addressing a veterans convention in New Orleans on July 28, 1996, Bill Clinton called on Congress to pass expanded measures against acts of terror in the United States. It was a more innocent time back then, and today the Adult Children Moving Back in with their Parents Act seems rather quaint.
JEERS to infamous firsts. The president of the United States automatically becomes the honorary president of the Boy Scouts of America when he takes office. (I still get a chuckle when I see Ronald Reagan's signature on my Eagle certificate.) His job is to provide encouragement to the troops and promote the ideals of the Scout Law and Oath. Sad to say that Donald Trump, who avoided joining the Scouts almost as relentlessly as he did military service (damn those bone spurs), just became the first honorary BSA president that the actual BSA president had to publicly apologize for...
I want to extend my sincere apologies to those in our Scouting family who were offended by the political rhetoric that was inserted into the jamboree. That was never our intent.
The invitation for the sitting U.S. President to visit the National Jamboree is along-standing tradition that has been extended to the leader of our nation that has had a Jamboree during his term since 1937.
It is in no way an endorsement of any person, party or policies. … We sincerely regret that politics were inserted into the Scouting program.
If only they could come up with a knot strong enough to keep his mouth shut.
CHEERS to feeling your pain. On July 28, 1865, the American Dental Association proposed its first code of ethics, thus paving the way for hilarious moments like this:
-
My dentist has TVs above all the dental chairs for his patience to watch while he’s poking, prodding and drilling. I always tune it to Fox News. It helps dull the pain. Well, the physical pain, anyway.
CHEERS to cool science. Cosmic, dude! Nerds at Northwestern University say they've found evidence that the stuff that makes us us blew in from waaaaaay beyond our little speck of the universe:
Daniel Anglés-Alcázar, a postdoctoral fellow at Northwestern's astrophysics center, explains it best.
"It is likely that much of the Milky Way's matter was in other galaxies before it was kicked out by a powerful wind, traveled across intergalactic space and eventually found its new home in the Milky Way," he said.
That means up to half of the Milky Way might be made of other galaxies. Meaning we, in part, could be formed from the same extragalactic matter.
That's right, kids. We're immigrants from other galaxies. Don’t tell Trump or he'll try to send us back.
JEERS to the politics of fear. Sixty-one years ago Sunday---on July 30, 1956---to ward off evil Communist spirits, the phrase "In God We Trust" became our country's national motto, a move led by a Democratic congressman---Charles E. Bennett:
He proposed putting the phrase “In God We Trust,” which began appearing on coins in 1864, on all paper and coin currency. “In these days when imperialistic and materialistic communism seeks to attack and destroy freedom,we should continually look for ways to strengthen the foundations of our freedom,” he declared on the House floor.
Personally, I prefer our other motto which, if I’m remembering my 3rd-grade civics lessons correctly, is "e pluribus sponge cakes et creamy filling unum Box of Twinkies.” But the way things are going in this country, it might as well be Добро пожаловать в Путинский театр. Извините, у нас нет туалетной бумаги. In English: ”Welcome to Putin’s Playhouse. Sorry, we’re out of toilet paper.”
CHEERS to home vegetation. The latest ratings say that MSNBC’s Chris, Rachel and Lawrence are now the #1 prime-time cable news hosts on TV, and tonight you'll want to watch one or more to get up to speed on the late-breaking Friday news dump. Besides that, weekend TV looks thinner than McConnell’s skinny bill. Not much on the new home video schedule besides the animated mega-hit Boss Baby and the sci-fi thriller Ghost in the Shell. The baseball schedule is here. (The Red Sox will "de-throne" the Royals Ha Ha Ha!) On 60 Minutes: A former Guantanamo Bay gulag prisoner speaks out, and 271 new Picassos are revealed. And here's your Game of Thrones spoiler alert: the queen's swill needs just a pinch more salt. Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV); columnist Eugene Robinson.
This Week: TBA
Face the Nation: Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA); Sen. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) explains how he wants to “bring his party back in line.” (He can start by not casting asshole votes for “skinny” bills that take health insurance from his constituents.); new CBS News polling numbers.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Best Speaker of the House since Tip O’Neill, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA); Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R).
CNN's State of the Union: Bernie!!! Plus one of the stars of the defeat of Trumpcare, Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME). And two congress members who diss Trump like a pro: Rep. Ted Lieu (D-CA) and Barbara Lee (D-CA).
Happy viewing!
-
Ten years ago in C&J: July 28, 2007
CHEERS to smashing the crasher. Over in Hanover, Germany, police were called after several people heard a big crash in the middle of the night. The culprit: a guy who got fed up with his balky computer and heaved it out his window. No charges were filed because, in the words of the police: "Who hasn’t felt like doing that?" In other news, Dell has removed the Hanover Police Department from its Christmas card list.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to red meat that's not the political kind. On today's date in 1900, reportedly while trying to piss off his vegan neighbor, Louis Lassen invented the humble hamburger in New Haven, Connecticut. Louis' Lunch is still in business and kickin' it old-school:
The beginnings of the hamburger sandwich as we all know it today was really quite simple.
One day in 1900, a gentleman hurriedly walked into Louis' Lunch and told proprietor Louis Lassen he was in a rush and wanted something he could eat on the run. In an instant, Louis placed his own blend of ground steak trimmings between two slices of toast and sent the gentleman on his way. And so, the most recognizable American sandwich was born.
Today, Louis' great grandson, Jeff Lassen, carries on the tradition. The hamburgers have changed little from their historic prototype and remain the specialty of the house. Burgers are made fresh daily; hand-rolled from a proprietary blend of five meat varieties and cooked to order in the original cast-iron grills dating back to 1898. The Lassen family holds firm on their desire not to offer any condiments. The Louis Lunch experience is about the taste and simplicity of a fresh burger grilled to perfection. Cheese, tomato, and onion are the only acceptable garnish.
So happy birthday to the hamburger, for 117 years the quintessential representation of America's diet until Donald Trump's presidency replaces it with cat food. (And, yes, I would like fries with that.)
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are youcheering and jeering about today?
-