From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night Snark: Nazis Go Home Edition
"Let's start off with some good news: Donald Trump did not have a press conference today."
---James Corden
"It was truly a weekend of horrifying images. We saw Nazi flags and marchers carrying torches---tiki torches, by the way, because nothing says 'white nationalist' like faux-Polynesian kitsch. ... I have to say, David Duke and the Nazis really seem to like Donald Trump. Which is weird because Nazis are a lot like cats: if they like you, it's probably because you're feeding them."
---John Oliver
"The mayor of Charlottesville called the rally a 'cowardly parade of hatred, bigotry, racism, and intolerance.' Which, coincidentally, was also the theme of Steve Bannon's senior prom."
---Stephen Colbert
Clip of Trump: We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides. On many sides.
Seth Meyers: On many sides??? If that choice of words made you feel sick to your stomach, the good news is you’re a normal and decent person.
---Late Night
"He can't even get vacation right. Imagine coming back to the office: 'Hey, how was your two-week break?' 'It was good. I defended Nazis. What'd you do?’"
---Jimmy Fallon
"Donnie Johnnie says we need to defend our country's beautiful confederate monuments, when you know he would take 'em down in a second if he thought he could build a bunch of poorly-constructed condos on the spot."
---Tina Fey on SNL's special edition of Weekend Update
Pay close attention to the poll options: I left a little gift at the bottom.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, August 18, 2017
Note: To avoid eye damage, DON'T look directly at Monday's solar eclipse! Be safe---have a friend look directly at it instead and describe it to you. ---C&J Science Dept.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Star Wars Episode VIII---The Last Jedi: 119
Days 'til the San Diego Spirits Festival: 8
Percent of voters who think the GOP-led Congress is doing a good job, according to a Monmouth University poll: 18%
Percent of voters who say they'll hold Republicans accountable for failures in running and maintaining the Affordable Care Act, according to a Kaiser Family Foundation survey: 60%
Adults who say they always use their seat belts while in a front seat and rear seat, respectively, according to an Insurance Institute for Highway Safety study: 91%, 72%
Age of Jack Bergerson, a Democrat who is running for governor in Kansas, a state that has no age requirement for public office: 16
Number of racist bones in Trump's body: 206
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Puppy Pic of the Day: C&J's rescue lab-mix Haley cuddling with her hedgehog. (My phone-cam sucks, but sometimes the result is kinda gauzy artsy-fartsy.)
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CHEERS to fumigating the White House. Thanks to Steve Bannon's sudden departure from the Trump administration, the housekeeping crew won’t be going through cans of Glade like his former boss goes through excuses for sucking. Yup, it's all over for the disheveled white supremacist who tried mightily to turn America into the Fourth Reich, but failed because his chosen POTUS-fuhrer turned out to be an easily-distracted lunkhead more interested in playing golf and counting profits from his price-gouging properties than killing his enemies and invading Poland.
There's a laundry-list of reasons to welcome his departure. But for now I'll just say this: given the way he fanned the flames of white supremacy, it's sweet justice to know that he's leaving under a black cloud.
CHEERS to people with the greatest first name on the planet. Happy Birthday and "many blessings on your camels" to Bill Clinton, who turns 71 tomorrow. Some Clintonian fun facts:
✓ Presidents Clinton and George H.W. Bush are the only consecutive presidents who were left handed.
✓ In 1996, President Clinton became the first Democrat to be elected to a second term since Franklin Delano Roosevelt in 1936.
✓ The only president who’s a Rhodes Scholar.
✓ Clinton was just 16 years old when he shook hands with President John F. Kennedy in 1963, just four months before Kennedy’s death. Clinton later said he “muscled” his way through the line to meet JFK at the Boys Nation event.
✓ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech so impressed a teenaged Clinton that he memorized the entire speech right after it was given.
In his plus column: brash, charming, scary intelligent, beat Bush (and Dole and Perot), humiliated Gingrich, made the economy hum, is a great surrogate for Democrats up and down the ballot, busy humanitarian, won the Bosnian campaign, and tore Romney apart piece by robotic piece at the 2012 Charlotte Democratic convention. In the negative column: DOMA, DADT, DLC, Monica, repeal of Glass-Steagall, NAFTA, and I hear he reed-synched his sax solo on Arsenio. On the whole? Proud he has a "D" after his name. That's our Bubba.
P.S. State law requires every Mainer to either say "Happy birthday"to former Maine senator George Mitchell, who turns 84 Sunday, or be banished to a life of misery in New Hampshire. So: Happy Birthday Mr. Former Senate Majority Leader! After 14 years in the Senate, he spent his time as a high-stakes peace broker in Ireland, the Middle East and elsewhere. Last year Kos asked Mitchell if he'd find a way to calm things down between the pie-fighting Team Hillary and Team Bernie on Daily Kos. His response: "Dammit, man, I'm a negotiator not a miracle worker."
JEERS to more mayhem. Exactly as we knew they eventually would, some terror-minded jackasses staged an attack yesterday---this time in Barcelona, Spain, killing fourteen and injuring dozens more. And we pull the checklist out of the drawer:
1. Tend to the victims, assess the situation.
2. Worldwide condemnation for those responsible, universal support and love for the afflicted country.
3. Clean up, rebuild, track down any accomplices, grieve for the victims.
4. Refuse to be terrorized, get on with life.
5. The terrorists lose.
It's a good list to keep handy. We will certainly need it again.
CHEERS to Grrrl Power. Ninety-seven years ago, on August 18, 1920, the 19th Amendment to the Constitution---which gives women the right to vote---was ratified. That's right---you menfolk ratified the Constitution in 1788 and it only took you 132 years to get your asses off the couch and make it a reality. Now if you'll just take out the garbage and fix the kitchen sink, you might get some nookie.
CHEERS to fun with numbers. If you're looking for a little light reading over the weekend, this post at FiveThirtyEight by University of Denver professor Seth Masket paints a statistically-optimistic portrait of next year's congressional midterm elections:
Of the 237 House challengers who raised at least $5,000 for the 2018 midterms by the end of June, 209 of them (88 percent) are Democrats. If we were to plug that into the regression line above, it suggests Democrats would pick up 93 House seats. This figure seems highly improbable given the number of seats that are actually competitive…[b]ut it does suggest strong potential gains for the Democrats next year.
[I]t’s hard to know just what the political system will look like by this time next year given the rapid pace of events lately. But indicators thus far suggest a strong year for the Democrats.
We only need 24 seats to gum up the GOP agenda, crack open a fresh Trump investigation or two, and, most important, finally wipe that smirk off Paul Ryan's face.
CHEERS to the Lady from Plains. Happy birthday to former First Lady and always-amazing human being Rosalynn Carter, who gets 90 candles on her cake today. While we were at Netroots Nation last week, we noticed the Atlanta Journal Constitution interviewed her as she approached the big day:
“I’ve had a great life,” Carter said in her office at the Carter Center in Atlanta, where large windows afford a view of the grounds and the shelves are filled with books and photos. “I’ve watched my family grow, I’ve traveled around the world and I’ve had a chance to contribute some, I think.” […]
Yet nothing may top what she describes as her most memorable birthday.
“My staff gave me a ride in the Goodyear Blimp,” Carter recalled near the end of the interview. “They had to draw straws for who would go with me because we couldn’t get everybody in. I had a great birthday!”
That was her 51st birthday, her second one in the White House.
How nice that her husband Jimmy completely beat his recent cancer scare so they can enjoy their usual tradition by stealing a Harley and going on a multi-state bank robbing spree with Jimmy in the sidecar and Lord help anyone who gets in their way. Kids these days…
CHEERS to home vegetation. Pretty much the usual stuff on TV this weekend, starting with Chris Hayes (with guest goddess Joy Reid) and Rachel tonight. Then on HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher talks with Sen. Al Franken, California's next governor Gavin Newsom, Rasmussen's Amy Holmes and demon sorcerer Penn Jillette. New home video releases include Ridley Scott's Alien: Covenant and, if you're a glutton for punishment, the big-screen version of Baywatch. The baseball schedule is here. (The Yankees will get spanked so hard they'll be seeing Red…Sox laughing at them! Ha Ha Ha!!!) On 60 Minutes: the challenges of preventing terrorist attacks, and a profile of the inspiration behind the movie Lion Saroo Brierely. Here's your next-to-last Sunday night Game of Thrones spoiler alert: the introduction of the Edsel throughout the seven kingdoms is a huge success. (Go figure!) And John Oliver will have some choice words for Trump's response to the Charlottesville violence on HBO's Last Week Tonight. Now here's the lineup for the Sunday morning shows, during which Republicans will blame racism without blaming the racist-in-chief for inflaming it:
This Week: TBA
CNN's State of the Union: Congressman and thorn-in-Trump’s side Adam Schiff (D-CA); Governor John Kasich (R-OH) Plus Rick Santorum is on the “best political minds” panel, and what a great time to revisit his 2012 "I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money” slur.
Face the Nation: Sens. Tim Kaine (D-VA) and Tim Scott (R-SC); NAACP Legal defense Fund President Sherrilyn Ifill; former white supremacist and founder of Life After Hate Christian Picciolini; Vice News Tonight correspondent Elle Reeve who embedded with the Nazis last weekend in Charlottesville.
Meet the Press: TBA
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Sen. Ben Cardin (D-MD); an unnamed Republican who drew the short straw and will have to answer for representing the party of white supremacy.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 18, 2007
JEERS to toner terror. As if it's bad enough we have to worry about Chinese leadin our Tinker Toys, now an Australian study says you shouldn't sit near your printer. Apparently, the dust it kicks up may be as harmful to your health as second-hand smoke. And people laughed at me for sticking with carbon paper. Who's laughing now!
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the put-down of put-downs. Oh, that crazy August of '09, when town hall meetings got so boisterous---with birther bullshit and teabaggers demanding the government do the exact things that would make the economy even worse---that they dominated the news, and security was often forced to step in to protect congress members from deranged loons who were egged on by the conservative media empire. But out of the wankery came a hero from the left who actually won a town hall skirmish: former Democratic Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank, who gave a Nazi-card-playing Lyndon LaRouche supporter something to cry in her strudel about when she trashed the Democrats’ effort to upgrade America's broken health insurance system:
"When you ask me that question, I am going to revert to my ethnic heritage and answer your question with a question: on what planet do you spend most of your time?"
Responded Jon Stewart later that night: "Apparently a planet where a mixed-race president and a gay Jew qualify as Nazis." And that's why, to commemorate that epic moment, C&J officially recognizes August 19 as Barney Badass Frank Day. Saaaaalute!
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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