It’s no secret that police brutality is typically reserved for folks of color, while police congeniality is reserved for their white counterparts, whether they ask for it or not. A South Carolina woman actively demanded the White Girl Treatment this weekend after law enforcement caught her blowing through a four-way stop at over sixty miles per hour.
According to Hilton Head’s Island Packet newspaper, the alleged attempt to play the race card failed mightily, but man oh man, did she try.
Buckle up, dear reader. It’s time to meet Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw.
A Bluffton woman who ran a stop sign while driving drunk more than 30 miles an hour over the speed limit early Saturday told officers she shouldn’t be arrested because she is a “very clean, thoroughbred, white girl,” according to a Bluffton Police Department report.
When the (white) officer who stopped her asked what the fuck her whiteness had to do with anything, Cutshaw, 32, drunkenly explained that “You’re a cop, you should know what that means,” the report said.
Before we go any further, just in case the mugshot doesn’t make it clear, Cutshaw ended up in handcuffs that night.
But y’all, she sure did try. Despite being in her early thirties, and having a lovely career in real estate, Cutshaw, an LSU grad who’s an avid hunter, opted to present her collegiate and high school resume as an over ten-year-old get out of jail free card.
While officers were investigating the woman, she listed reasons she shouldn’t be arrested:
▪ she’s had perfect grades her whole life
▪ she was a cheerleader
▪ she was a sorority girl
▪ she graduated from a “high accredited university”
▪ she was in the National Honors Society.
Much like her ivory-plated race card, Cutshaw’s past work with pom-poms did nothing to help her overcome the fact that a Breathalyzer test revealed that she was rocking a .18 blood alcohol level in a state that considers .08 the level of legal impairment.
Cutshaw, who turns 33 on August 9, also explained away that boozy smell the cops noticed by explaining that it was her birthday, and she’d had “two glasses of wine.”
...when officers asked how much she filled the glasses, she responded, “I mean I was celebrating my birthday,” the report said.
She has a point.
Cutshaw also explained that her partner was a cop, but apparently that partner must not care enough to give her one of those sweet PBA cards that most law enforcement loved ones use to get themselves out of trouble.
After reiterating again that she was a “white, clean girl,” and receiving no special benefit for her Caucasity, Cutshaw was arrested around 1:45 A.M. She faces charges of driving under the influence, speeding, disregarding a stop sign, simple possession of marijuana, and possession of drug paraphernalia.
No word on whether her whiteness is getting her extra pudding in her cell.
