From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Happy Birthday, America's Favorite Political Football!
I hope you put some extra starch in your bloomers this morning because no slouching is allowed on Constitution Day. 232 years ago, on September 17, 1787, the U.S. Constitution was signed by delegates from 12 states. And you can thank a wily West Virginia Democrat for making us pay attention to the damn thing at least once a freakin' year:
Constitution Day became a national observance in 2004, when Senator Robert Byrd passed a bill designating September 17 as the day for citizens to commemorate the signing of the U.S. Constitution and learn more about our founding document. Senator Byrd once said, "Our ideals of freedom, set forth and realized in our Constitution, are our greatest export to the world." … In honor of Constitution Day, all educational institutions receiving federal funding are required to hold an educational program pertaining to the U.S. Constitution.
Fun facts:
» At 81, Benjamin Franklin of Pennsylvania was the oldest delegate at the Constitutional Convention, and at 26 Jonathan Dayton of New Jersey was the youngest.
» The original Constitution is on display at the National Archives in Washington, D.C. When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, it was moved to Fort Knox for safekeeping.
» More than 11,000 amendments have been introduced in Congress. Thirty three have gone to the states to be ratified and twenty seven have received the necessary approval from the states to actually become amendments to the Constitution.
» The boogers stuck to the document represent the Dred Scott, Bush v. Gore and Citizens United decisions, along with the language about the electoral college.
According to the Daily Show's classic history manual America (The Book), the early reviews were boffo:
"Checks, balances, executive, legislative, judiciary—this baby's got it all!"
—George Washington, Mount Vernon Bee-Dispatch
"The Constitution grabs you right from the Preamble and doesn't let go until the last Article…the must-ratify document of the summer!"
—Alexander Hamilton, New York Post
Take the quiz here. (Average score, according to the site, is 7 out of 10.) It should be noted that Republicans care very deeply about the Constitution, and pledge to fight tooth and nail for every single word. But, oddly, only During Democratic presidencies.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 17, 2019
Note: Today is National Apple Dumpling Day. Please, apples: dumple responsibly.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til San Francisco's cable cars go back in service after repairs are made on the gear boxes that pull them up the hills: 6
Days 'til the "pure Scandimonium" of Norsk Hostfest in Minot, North Dakota: 8
Percent of Democrats in a new Morning Consult poll who believe our party is liberal (vs. moderate), up from 56% in 2018: 63%
Percent who say they want the next Democratic president to take the party in a new direction, rather than continue Obama's policies: 51%
Number of years after which gun owners in New Zealand would have to re-license their firearms under a proposed new law there, versus the current ten: 5
Number of children who attended highly integrated U.S. public schools in 2017, compared with 5.9 million in 1995, according to the Washington Post: 10.8 million
Date on which Maine's new law banning the holding of phones or other devices while driving—under penalty of a $50 fine for the first offense—goes into effect: 9/19/19
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Nice way to start the workday…
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CHEERS to peppy prognostications. The usual caveat—take with a small mountain of grains of salt—applies. But as far as I know Stan Greenberg's no slouch, and when he says his tea leaves are talkin' to him (presumably while sober), it's worth a sip of coffee or two:
“Donald Trump’s election will speed the defeat of the Republican Party because of its dominance by the Tea Party and evangelicals, which won’t consider compromise, which won’t consider a multicultural America in a part of our future.
And I also thought it would speed up the resistance and also people’s consciousness of what they believe and their values, and all of that has happened.” To this end, Greenberg is predicting a blowout win for Democrats in 2020, as he’s projecting the Democratic nominee will win a whopping 385 electoral votes, whereas Trump will win just 153.
But we'll settle for 270 and the Senate. Don’t want to appear greedy. That's the GOP’s turf.
CHEERS to soapy time. We now join today's edition of All My Despots, where a love triangle is coming to a head in the kitchen:
Saudi Arabia: Oh, United States, do you still love me?
United States: More than the moon and the stars, my darling!
Saudi Arabia: So then you'll bomb Iran for me?
United States: Yes, my love blossom, yes! Now make mad, passionate love to me here on the kitchen table!
Russia [Entering from the parlor]: United States! You're bombing Iran with that harlot? I thought you loved me!
United States: But… But… I can explain.
Saudi Arabia: Who the hell is this???
United States: Heh heh heh…Saudi Arabia, this is Russia. Russia, this is Saudi Arabia.
Russia: Don’t you dare bomb Iran without my approval!
United States: I… I'm so confused! I love you both, and yet I… I…
Iran [Enters naked from parlor]: Hey Russia, we gonna [bleep!] on the bearskin rug or not?
Russia: I'll be right there, snookums.
United States and Saudi Arabia: Whaaaa????
Join us tomorrow for the next exciting installment of All My Despots—a DesiLu production in association with Bing Crosby Enterprises. Stay tuned for As The World Burns on most of these C&J stations.
CHEERS to world peace...or a semi-close approximation thereof. If it's autumn in New York, that means it's General Assembly time! All the leaders of the universe are assembled at the United Nations for the 74th time this week in an annual contest to see which one can be the biggest public nuisance. Although I admit it's not quite as looney-toons as it was back when we had some real unstable goofballs wandering its hallways: Hugo Chavez (dead), Muammar Ghaddafi (dead), Mahmud Ahmadinejahd (now working the fry vat at the Tehran McDonald's), George W. Bush (currently painting pooties in the bathtub, poorly). I guess the best we can hope for is Benjamin Netanyahu stepping up to the lectern again with his cartoon bomb out of Wile E. Coyote's Acme catalog, or Donald Trump once again getting laughed at by the entire body. But perhaps the lack of nutty showboaters might mean something constructive may actually get done—a boy can dream. Then, as custom now dictates, the General Assembly will close the session with their time-honored tradition: the annual shredding of the diplomats' unpaid parking tickets.
JEERS to the worst sheriff in history. Here's a little memento of our sorry recent-past that I always like to isolate and hose down with disinfectant. On September 17, 2001, President George "W Stands for Decider" Bush evoked the image of an old west "WANTED" poster, vowing to catch Osama bin Laden "Dead or Alive." Bush failed (big surprise there) to nab "America's Most Wanted," either dead or alive. But Seal Team Six under the authority of President Barack Obama sure didn't, and now 72 virgins are taking turns smacking bin Laden—who turned out to be a garden-variety narcissistic porn-addicted slob—in the face with shoes for the rest of eternity. [Sigh] If you want a job done right, hire the Democrat.
JEERS to throwing a cold plate of haggis on my hopes and dreams. Here I was all set to take advantage of the economic collapse caused by no-deal Brexit (44 days and counting) to fly over to the U.K., drive all around, stay at luxury castles, eat like a king, and see all the sights for, like, fifty bucks total. But now I'm not so sure:
Food shortages. Inadequate medical supplies. Civil unrest and road blockades. Lack of fuel. Delays at the border. … It's a scenario that travelers from around the world could be flying into if plans to crash out of the European Union are followed through.
That's enough to scare off Stephen Pickett, a sales director from Toronto. "Why would I put myself out to go and get caught up in something?" he told CNN Travel. "This isn't something I want to put myself through." […]
Tom Jenkins, who works with tour operators from around the world, says … "Food shortages and delays at the border don't make the UK seem a good place to go. No deal would be a straightforward catastrophe."
Seriously. What good is travel if you're just gonna get your brains eaten by a bedraggled Brexit zombie who looks like he just came up through the sewer? And that's just Boris Johnson. We hear Nigel Farage goes straight for the liver.
CHEERS to the Bush appointee who shoulda been Chief Justice instead of that other Bush appointee. Happy Birthday to former Supreme Court Justice David Souter, who turns 80 today. He was appointed by George H.W. Bush, who thought Souter's rulings would lean towards the "right." Fortunately, Souter interpreted the word to mean "correct," not "conservative." I'd love to be able to thank him in person one of these days for not leaving the bench during 43's reign, sparing America from having a "Justice Alberto Gonzales." If they ever start handing out a Presidential Medal of Republic Preservation, he should be among those at the front of the line.
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 17, 2009
JEERS to private-sector death panels. Crystal Lee Sutton, the inspiration for the heroic character played by Oscar-winner Sally Field in Norma Rae, has died at 68. Had her insurance company not acted like a heartless asshole two months ago, she might still be here:
She went two months without possible life-saving medications because her insurance wouldn’t cover it, another example of abusing the working poor, she said. "How in the world can it take so long to find out (whether they would cover the medicine or not) when it could be a matter of life or death," she said. "It is almost like, in a way, committing murder."
The next time some right-wing prick whines (read: lies) about the government wanting to kill grandma, I'll remind them that Crystal Lee Sutton was likely sent to an early death by the oh-so-holy private insurance industry, leaving her with 11 grieving grandchildren and four heartbroken great-grandchildren. Not that the industry would notice—after all, they only care about counting beans.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to stopping to smell the tubes. Without the internet, I wouldn’t know you. We wouldn’t frolic together every morning (and Friday evening) here at Daily Kos. We wouldn’t be nearly as plugged in to the nooks and crannies of politics, science, entertainment, history, and porn cat videos as thoroughly as we are today. Like cars and TV and washing machines and the flush toilet, the internet is now something that has lost all ability to amaze as it did when it was all new and evolving at the speed of light. So it's always a good idea, while our generation—the first real internet generation—is still alive, to remind ourselves just what a miracle it is. And I can think of no one better to do the deed than the late Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska who, via DJ Ted Stevens (aka Paul Holcomb), in 2006 demanded that we never lose the starry-eyed wonder in our eyes over those heaven-sent tangled-up tubes:
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That was fun. Now go read a book. That damn internet’ll rot your brain.
Oh, and this programming alert: 2020 candidate Sen. Corey Booker is on with Jimmy Kimmel tonight (ABC), and 2020 candidate Sen. Elizabeth Warren and all the Brady Bunch kids are on Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS). I can assure you that’s much more than a hunch. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Huge space hotel promises fake gravity and 'supersized' Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool
—NBC News
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