When tRump is dead and gone or rotting in prison, his supporters will still be here. That presents a problem. Some of them just aren’t redeemable. We need to be able to find productive uses for them.
These are the people who have continued to support tRump through a very, very, very long list of atrocities, thefts, extraordinarily stupid statements, lies, baseless accusations and clear signs of dementia. We are not talking about folks who list thinking as one of their skills. In the face of clear evidence, these people all insisted on voting for the village idiot. In the face of a mountain of further evidence, they still support him. Finding something for them to do is going to become very important when he’s gone.
New Uses for Otherwise Useless People
Ambulatory Diet Control — I was chatting with my friend, Julie, and she pointed out, “Every time I talk to a tRump supporter, I completely lose my appetite.” [Thus was born today’s Shade] Listening to a stupid person rant on about things they know nothing about is a powerful appetite suppressant. We’ll probably have to make sure we have disclaimers: “Caution: overuse of tRump supporters can lead to starvation or other eating disorders.”
Human Fly Strip — Just stick a tRump supporter in a secluded spot in your yard and presto, no bugs around the rest of your guests. Mosquitoes will go after them just like the blood suckers in the republican party have for the last 60 years. Gnats will flock to them out of camaraderie with fellow shot attention span sufferers. Flies have always been attracted to shit.
Dog Training Aid — Want to teach your dog to keep the riff-raff away from your property? tRump supporters aren’t very quick, so your dog can practice aggressive barking, snarling, hackle raising and disabling intruders using real chargeable miscreants with little danger to your pooch. Just tether a tRump supporter in your yard and let Fido have a field day.
Traffic Cone / Crime Scene Tape / Other Barrier — No one wants to get close to a maskless idiot. Just put tRump supporters in the way as a deterrent to trespassing. They’ve proven to have no real curiosity, so they are unlikely to wander much as long as you tell them they are in line for a rally.
Ice Breaker — No, not as conversation starters — as actual ice breakers. Hand them an ice pick and strap them to the front of your boat. It’s a repetitive task that doesn’t take much intelligence. It’s perfect.
Dunce Cap Stand — Have you ever wondered where schools keep their dunce caps? Well, wonder no more! In honor of the stable genius’ stellar academic career, I’m sure his supporters would be happy to keep the ceremonial tRump headgear handy for emergency use when a student exhibits signs of tRumpish behavior. We could also make them responsible for storing the extra red hats that will be absent from closets of all the “republicans” who never supported Donald in the first place.
White Noise Generator — Their repeated anguished mantra of privilege and racism is just so much empty noise. But, it is a bigoted soundtrack that isn’t going away anytime soon, so we should put it to use. Placing two tRump supporters reciting their Catechism 180 degrees out of phase with each other should eliminate any subliminal content and result in pure white noise. Think of all the electricity that could be saved.
Note: When this idea first arose (around noon today), it looked like it would be easy to put together a Shade. It would come together in just a few minutes, right? — Wrong! Finding acceptable tasks for tRump supporters was not easy. Even with aid from Julie and the EDiting department, after dieting, the early ideas had to do with directly recycling crap from horses or other producers (dung beetles would not be pleased). If you have an idea for a legitimate use for a tRump supporter please share it in the comments. This current list isn’t long enough to give them all gainful employment and we surely don’t want them running around loose causing trouble after tRump is gone.
Up the Resistance!
Music for Resisting
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Evening Shade appears every evening at 7:30PM Eastern (unless I get lazy).
Cut and Paste Department. This is the regularly scheduled plea for readers. I’ve still only had to make two memes. You have it within your power to make me work. If you spread the word about Evening Shade and your spreadee announces themselves in the comments, you will become eligible to receive your very, very special noprize of a meme of your very own. All you have to do is jump up and get out there and start carnival barking, cajoling, proselytizing (or pimping, if you are of an irreligious bent). You could even pester and push. Procrastination is not an option — it’s a way of life.
Goodie raised a call to action this morning. Were you listening?: We Can Protect the Vote: Saturday's Good News
WYgalinCali’s Saturday jukebox theme was hard, so I got permission to ignore it: Another Saturday Night - Songs you love but hate the singer
