I am a man of a certain age.
And people of my ilk, well, we have certain common medical issues.
One such issue I have in common with my fellow ilkers is a prostate gland that tends to get far bigger than it should. It causes certain...inconveniences. Like urinating a lot. Especially at night.
There’s no app for that.
But there are pills. Glorious, big-pharma-issued, time-and-FDA-tested pills. I rely on two such medications to help me make it through the night. The pills come when I need them thanks to the U.S. Postal Service.
You may have been hearing about this lately. Not my prostate-pill deliveries, specifically, but that whole unpleasantness with the mail. As to my situation, when I run out of father’s little helpers in the next couple of weeks, and if the mail continues to fail, so will my prostate-control protocol. If that happens, my prostate could get very big indeed, whilst my healthy REMs would decline precipitously.
It would be a cascading effect of a government policy.
Though cascading is not the right word.
It’s more of a trickle-down effect.
In any event, I, in an act of self-preservation, and to give our government officials a sense of how their decisions can affect the lives of common men of a certain age, today called the office of my GOP representative, Elise Stefanik.
I told the lucky staffer who answered the phone all about my prostate.
In detail.
Including describing the precise location of a prostate in a man of a certain age’s body.
And the prostate’s relation to, and effects on, an aging man’s urinary tract.
In detail.
I did this so the staffer could really picture it, in a way that cannot be unseen, enabling him to accurately relay said visual to my GOP representative, Elise Stefanik.
The young man who took my call seemed empathetic, or maybe just confused, as I begged him to tell my GOP representative, Elise Stefanik, to tell her good friend, Donald Trump, all about my prostate, and about the mail, and about how medicines for far more severe conditions are being held up right now, and how, really, it’s all connected.
He told me he would relay my message. I sure hope he did.
Every word of this is true.
I just wanted to share.
