Republican bullshitters spent last week complaining about the “dark” Democratic National Convention, and promising theirs would be “hopeful” and “uplifting.” We all laughed, of course, and with good reason. The Republican convention is vintage Donald Trump—hysterical doomsday warnings of what a Joe Biden presidency would bring: rioting, burning cities, rampaging Salvadoran gang members, “pain and misery,” “intolerance,” “bigotry,” “your family will not be safe,” “not being allowed to go to church,” and so on. Here’s a nice summary:
As one Republican speaker said, “nightmares are becoming real.” Fact check: True. Everything we feared about Trump has come true.
And that’s where the Republican convention hits a rhetorical speed bump: If this vision of America were true, wouldn’t the guy in charge of it for the last four years perhaps have something to do with it? It’s quite the rhetorical feat, claiming that the country is going to shit and the only person who can rescue it is the guy in charge while the country is going to shit. No speaker at this convention thus far has been able to explain that away. The best they can do is pretend COVID-19 is over and that racism didn’t exist until those radical liberals decided to, what, make their Dear Leader look bad by rudely getting in the way of police knees and bullets?
So if you can’t blame Trump for the world collapsing around him, who can you blame? The radical left, of course. As one half of that detestable St. Louis gun-waving couple ominously warned: “No matter where you live, your family will not be safe in the radical Democrats’ America.” The other half of the couple echoed that theme: “These radicals are not content with marching in the streets. They want to walk the halls of Congress. They want power.”
“Our side is working on policy, while Joe Biden’s radical Democrats are trying to permanently transform what it means to be an American,” said South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott with a straight face as his party didn’t even bother to have a policy platform for the first time in convention history. (It’s the same Republican Party that has had years to come up with a replacement health care plan and failed because, you know, they’re “working on policy.”)
Cissie Graham Lynch, granddaughter of the Rev. Billy Graham, said: “The radical left’s God is government power.” Some random business guy on stage (probably a big donor) said: “This is not time to hand our government over to a washed up career politician who will be nothing but a puppet of the radical left Democrats."
So yeah, radical left radical left radical left radical left.
There are several problems for Republicans trying to make that case.
One: Joe freakin’ Biden. We just spent a whole primary season where the “radical left” was supposedly represented by Sens. Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren. And sure, Republicans can try to work around it by saying stupid shit like “Biden is a captive of the left,” but it simply falls flat. No one sees Biden as a radical leftist because quite frankly, he’s not a radical leftist.
We can argue (credibly) that even Sanders and Warren aren’t “radical left.” But Biden? Zero people actually believe that. Not even Republicans.
Two: Compare the conventions. The Democratic one seemed to have as many Republicans as it did Democrats. The real left of the party wasn’t represented. The closest we might’ve come to it—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez—got a little over a minute to speak. Meanwhile, Republicans like Colin Powell and former Ohio Gov. John Kasich got prime-time featured slots.
The Republican one? Where do we even start? There’s Abby Johnson.
There was the time she argued that her Black adopted son was statistically more likely to commit a crime than her white one. And there was the time she argued that women living at home with a man shouldn’t have the right to vote.
Then there’s Mary Ann Mendoza:
There was that execrable St. Louis gun-waving couple, wailing at the “mobs” of brown people peacefully meandering past their front lawn. (Apparently, no mention of suing their neighbors, their family, or the synagogue next door.)
Even the featured speakers have been beyond parody. Watch this. It’s worth it:
The mere act of who the parties have showcased has not only made a mockery of the GOP’s “radical left” claim, but reinforces that it is Republicanism itself that has surrendered to its worst elements. There’s a reason Q candidates have won several primaries this season, as Trump approvingly looks on.
The modern GOP is making George W. Bush look good. And seriously, fuck them for that. That is inexcusable.
Three: Republicans ran this campaign in 2018, and it failed spectacularly.
Not sure why they think 2020 will be any different. Probably because Trump has one speed, and it’s “fear-mongering and racist.”
It’s like the boy who cried wolf—you scream about scary Democrats long enough at top volume, it becomes easy to tune that stuff out.
And that’s what America is doing.
In other words, the Republican schtick is getting old. It’s tired. It’s boring.
And it does nothing to get Republicans closer to victory as they face another wave election this November.
