Well, I have to admit it — the republican convention has been very convincing so far. It has convinced me that crawling naked over broken glass, heated in a fire pit, while maskless magahatters cough on me, in order to cast my ballot for Joe Biden is a small price to pay to kick these toxic leeches to the curb.
Last night’s day two of Hatefest 2020 was not as crazy as Guilfoyle’s “The Beast is Yet to Come” attempt to summon a demon from the pits of hell to kill us all. Mostly it was dull, dull, dull. Most speeches went like this:
- Introduce yourself and give a yourself a mostly fictitious back story.
- Lie about Joe Biden.
- Lie some more about Joe Biden or any other prominent Democrat.
- Throw in a few extra lies about whatever your want.
- Deny that you ever said anything disparaging about tRump.
- Praise tRump for something he didn’t do.
- Praise tRump for something else he didn’t do.
- Ignore anything that tRump actually did.
- Lie a few more times.
- Say, “God bless America” or a variation.
The longer speeches included more statements giving tRump credit for other stuff he didn’t do.
tRump also added in a couple of stunts that violated tradition, laws and decorum all at the same time. He signed a convention pardon and performed a convention citizenship ceremony. Have I ever mentioned just how much I despise Donald John tRump?
It looks like they also used stock footage sourced from Thailand, Russia and the Ukraine in their video montages of US factories and hospitals. Can you say, “Someone is just mailing it in at this point.”?
Three featured speakers were uninvited from the Tuesday lineup — Steve Bannon, Jerry Falwell Jr and Mary Ann Mendoza.* Bannon because of him being too tRump-like for even republicans to stomach; Falwell for being too kinky for even tRump assault apologists to stomach; and Mendoza because she was caught being an antisemitic crazy person. Mendoza is on the campaign board of Women for tRump. Expect her back stumping for tRump as soon as the media moves on the the next scandal.
I was disappointed that Abby Johnson, the forced birther, didn’t highlight her other beliefs — the reintroduction of household voting, where only the head of a household gets to cast a vote in elections; and the one where she says racially profiling her biracial son would be “smart” because he was “more likely to commit a violent offense” than her other “white nerdy kids.” Of course her speech was the same disputed story she’s been telling for the last 11 years. One of her coworkers said Johnson had told her she was contemplating joining an anti-abortion organization because she’d been promised high speaker’s fees. Saul Elbein’s article about her, Conversion Story, from 2010 pokes a lot of holes in her credibility.
I was quite surprised to learn the tRump took time out from his busy TV watching schedule to go to the tRump University Medical School, specializing in ignoring infectious diseases and scoffing at immunology, so that he could solve the tRump pandemic all by himself. I was glad Larry Kudlow was able to put that whole mess behind us and get us back on track for destroying the middle class.
One of the real lowlights for me was when newly registered lobbyist for Qatar, Pam Bondi, went after Joe and Hunter Biden for a much debunked non-existent conspiracy. As far as I know, Bondi has no experience in Middle East issues that would make her qualified for her new job — or anything other than being a republican party aparatchik. I wonder why she has that lobbying job? Do you think it’s because, fresh from her job defending the guy she took a bribe from in the tRump University case from a much deserved impeachment conviction, she needed some hush money? I wonder why she’s not in jail for accepting bribes to drop cases? (tRump can’t be the only one, can he?)
I missed the Pompeo speech (Pressley had to go) and haven’t bothered to watch it, so if you want to know about what he lied about while violating the Hatch Act and his own directive to the State Department, you’ll have to find it somewhere else.
Melania closed out the evening with a wooden performance reminding us of her days as a flesh manikin posing for soft core skin mags, flashing that “I’m really enjoying this” vacant-eyed forced smile” of emotionally dead people everywhere.
All in all, I give night two a 10 out of 10 on the shameless hypocrite scale of republicanism. Mothers, please don’t let your children grow up to be republicans. We are in enough trouble without that.
*I don’t actually know what days Bannon and Falwell were supposed to speak and am too lazy to track it down. So let’s just agree it was Tuesday and let it go.
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