Well, Isn't That Sweet? The White House Squatter Emailed Me With His Plans!

Hey, listen to my plans for my next term, kid!

I have no idea why I am on the Trump campaign email list. Why do I get messages from Little Don telling me that Daddy doesn’t see me on their donor list  (and he looks for me!), for instance. Today, the Big Guy messaged me with his plans for the next four years, and, hey, we’re going have a manned landing on Mars! Believe him! Well, anyway, here are his promises:

Unlike Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, who have vowed to DESTROY the American way of life, President Trump and Vice President Pence are promising to put YOU and your family first every single day.

• They will create MORE jobs, CUT taxes, and PROTECT American jobs
• The Coronavirus will be ERADICATED
• America  will END its reliance on China and bring back 1     MILLION manufacturing jobs
• Insurance premiums will be LOWERED, Social Security and Medicare will be protected, prescription drug prices will be CUT, and preexisting conditions will be covered
• School Choice will be provided to EVERY Child in America
• They will DRAIN THE SWAMP by passing Congressional term limits
• Law enforcement will be fully funded
• NO more sanctuary cities, human trafficking networks will be dismantled, and illegal immigrants will be BLOCKED from becoming eligible for taxpayer-funded  welfare, healthcare, and free college tuition
• They  will establish a permanently manned presence on the moon and send the     first manned mission to Mars
• STOP  Endless Wars and bring our troops home

Excited, anyone? I love how “Insurance premiums will be LOWERED, Social Security and Medicare will be protected, prescription drug prices will be CUT, and preexisting conditions will be covered...”  And he really means it this time. Believe him.