Before we get into tonight’s Shade, I’d like to share a request from the Metropolitan Antifa Soup Kitchens.
From the desk of Some Guy Who Doesn’t Actually Exist, President and CEO of MASK:
Due to the recent demand for soup bags we are having trouble sourcing some ingredients.
We need:
- Flat Italian Parsley used as a garnish for our Butternut Squash and Italian Wedding soups (some orange fool put a tariff on this and the local crop is insufficient).
- Fresh Garlic for our signature Gazpacho (It looks like people are using up available supplies as charms to keep Ghouliani at bay).
- Carrots for our Chicken Noodle soup (some fellow named NNNE has been giving way to many treats to local horses).
- Clam meat for our New England Clam chowder (we just don’t have the budget to keep buying so much clam meat).
- Beer for our Beer & Cheese soup (a nice microbrew would be greatly appreciated. We promise to waste it in the soup).
- New recipes. The police are appreciative of all the great soup but they would like a bit more variety.
Please help out if you can. And now back to our regular Shade.
Cleaning companies are reporting encountering a wide distribution of an ancient type of stain, appearing in locations all over the country. Unlike grass, ketchup, grease, urine, grape juice and other tough stains this stain is resistant to normal procedures.
Throughout history this stain has been referred to as a stain upon the soul. Our current outbreak is more commonly called a tRumpstain. It presents with different intensities.
Puppeteer — This is an 11th circle of hell level of besmirchment. Their stains will never come out. We hope it is localized to the person of Vladimir Putin, but emerging evidence points to other cases involving Charles Koch, Sheldon Adelson and Recep Erdogan.
Enabler — This outbreak is mostly confined to the political class. It is generally found with the stain of betrayal.
Cult Member — The rabid screaming hordes of redhatted maggats are certainly deluded. That doesn’t excuse them from their tRumpstains.
Active Supporter — Sticking a tRump sign in their yards makes these people complicit in all the crimes of tRump. Their recovery from the tRumpstain will be difficult, if it occurs at all.
Fellow Traveler — The tRumpstain is just the standard bearer for all the other marks left upon their souls by their racism and bigotry.
Lazy tRump Voter — By not acknowledging or paying attention to the myriad crimes of tRump, these voters are touched by the tRumpstain. If they wake up in time they may recover.
Up the Resistance!
Music for Resisting
Memaliciousness
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Evening Shade appears every evening at 7:30PM Eastern (unless I get lazy).
