Back in April, I wrote about the death of my sister-in-law from coronavirus. We had put off having a memorial, in the hopes that the pandemic would end and we’d be able to get the family together. After four months, there was a piece that still felt so unfinished. As her daughter Kali said, “I keep expecting her to call.” So, in a sign of the times, we took the one available option: the Zoom funeral.
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On Friday we laid her ashes to rest in the cemetery. It was just the three of us, Packrat, Kali, and me, while Kali used Zoom to include her out-of-state sister and a family friend. It was good to at least be near Kali, and hold hands with rubber gloves on, all of us in masks.
The next day, we gathered family and friends on Zoom. The planning mostly fell on Kali, who is tech-savvy and more organized than her sister. The DIY aspect let her plan it in a way that was meaningful and comforting, but it also meant the absence of clergy or funeral director who could have taken that burden off her.
Everyone was patient with the technical glitches, telling each other when to unmute, moving on gracefully when someone’s video froze. In some ways it was like a regular funeral, with the prayers and scripture she would have wanted, and memories shared with laughter and tears. Packrat’s other sister is a talented musician, who gifted us with some beautiful songs.
There was one upside: It was easy for family and friends out of state to attend, including hospice staff who’d grown close to her in her time there.
But there were things missing, too. Normally after a funeral we’d have sat down somewhere to eat together, people would have clustered into groups, and those who were uncomfortable with public speaking would have a chance to share their stories. And I so much wanted to hug Kali, hug the other family members, just feel them physically there.
When the pandemic ends (that has to happen, right?), I hope we’ll eventually gather for a memorial in person. But for now, this brings...not closure, exactly, but some peace.
On to Top Comments!
From FindingMyVoice:
Ok, this is a twofer from the always-brilliant, always side-splitting Shower Cap's diary, 'Abort, My Antifa Comrades! Operation Bags of Soup Has Been Compromised!’
dmhlt66 sets us up with a visual comment, and Champurrado returns the volley perfectly!
From Besame:
Just in case you don't pick this up by Gabe Ortiz's appreciative reply, bear83 found the failing border wall exemplified Trump's America.
Top mojo, courtesy of mik:
Picture quilt, courtesy of jotter:
