This week I ran out of excuses.
There’s this DVD I used to use five days a week. It contains two 30 minute cardio workouts you can do at home. I didn't need a gym, I didn’t need any fancy equipment, I just needed 30 minutes a day, five days a week, and I got in pretty good shape.
Then I had (minor) surgery and stopped for a few weeks. Then when I tried to start back up it was...hard. I never got back into it.
Soon after we had to get a new tv and the DVD player never got hooked back up. It’s outdated equipment — not even Blue Ray! — so it just never got done.
Well, this week it got done. It’s hooked back up and working. And guess what? That 30 minute workout DVD was still sitting inside the machine.
So I got up early, dressed in my lounge around the house clothes that are actually workout clothes, slipped on some sneakers, and turned on the DVD.
You know how this works, but as always, a gentle reminder:
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I shoved the couch forward a little to make some extra room and took a step back. The smiling woman on the tv was introducing me for the hundredth time to the women behind her, then instructed me to start walking in place. I mimicked her movements as best I could and we began the warm up.
“Watcho doing?” came a voice from my feet.
I looked down. “Working out,” I said. “You should get out of the way.”
He tail started to shake in excitement. “Are you going to chase a mouse?” he asked.
I frowned at him. “No.”
His tail shook a little harder. “Are you going to throw a mouse for me to chase?”
I started to hop in place, still mimicking what was happening on the television. “No,” I said, slightly out of breath.
He leaned forward to smell my foot. “Stop that!” I snapped. “You’ll get hurt!”
“I don’t understand what you’re doing,” he said again.
“I told you! I’m working out!” We started what the smiling woman called “body lifts,” which are a little like jumping jacks. Mine were...not terribly graceful.
“What are you doing?” he asked again, this time with a little more force.
I growled at him. “Freddie, go lie down,” I said. “I don’t want to accidentally kick you!”
For once he obeyed, moving off to the side near his box collection.
The workout started in earnest and I did my best to keep up, huffing and puffing embarrassingly fast.
“I still don’t understand,” Freddie called.
“Me neither,” I puffed, feeling a little miserable.
I made it about eight minutes before I had to stop, hands on my hips. Freddie slowly made his way over to me, clearly unsure.
“It’s fine,” I huffed. “I’m just out of practice.”
He nodded wisely. “You need to chase more mice.”
I opened my mouth to argue then closed it. “Well, yeah, actually.”
“I’ve got to get back to it,” I told him, making a shooing motion with my hands.
He didn’t move.
I shrugged and awkwardly tried to get back into the routine. It took a second, but I finally was synced up with it. I reached the part where I was supposed to step forward and lift my other leg three times when Freddie walked right into the space in front of me. I had to throw myself to the side to keep from stepping on him and almost fell. “Freddie!” I said.
He stared at me. “I need to go over there,” he said, indicating the spot on my other side.
“So go!” I said, trying to catch my breath.
After a second, he did.
I took a deep breath and let it out, then focused on the television again. After another awkward start, I was back into the routine.
Just as I went to step forward again, my curious little pootie walked into the space. Again. I twisted to keep from stepping on him.
“Freddie!”
He looked up at me, startled. “I need to go over there,” he said, indicating the space on the other side of me.
“So go!” I said.
After a moment, he did.
I shook myself and jumped back into it.
“Two more times through, can you make it?” the smiling woman on my tv asked. She was still smiling and not even a little out of breath. I hated her a little.
Freddie jumped up onto the back of the couch to watch me. I tried to ignore him.
“You’re never going to catch the mouse like that,” he opined.
“I’m...not...trying...to,” I told him.
“You aren’t really going anywhere. Just jumping and flailing around.”
“I’m...not...flailing!” I said, flailing my arms out in sad imitation of the very fit woman on my television.
He tilted his head and watched as I finished the routine for the final time and started the cool down.
We finished the final stretches and the credits started to roll. I limped to the other side of the couch and dropped onto it, sweating and trying to catch my breath. Freddie jumped off the couch back and sat next to me.
He sniffed me carefully.
“Stop it,” I said. “I know I smell.”
“I like it,” he said, rubbing his head against my sweaty arm.
“Gross,” I laughed, but reached over to pet him. “I need to get up and shower,” I added, leaning back against the couch.
“You should stay like this all day!” he said, shoving his head into my arm.
Once I caught my breath, I hauled myself up. “Come on, little guy,” I said. “Let’s shower.”
“I’m not getting in there,” he said, jumping down and following me.
“No,” I agreed, “you’ll just watch like a weirdo.”
Happy Caturday, Peeps! And happy Labor Day! I hope everyone has no plans this long weekend, and is not going to a BBQ or the beach. Stay home! Stay safe!