by T.S. Eliot
How would you address a Cat?
…
First, your memory I'll jog, and say,
A CAT IS NOT A DOG
…
The usual dog about the town
Is much inclined to play the clown.
And far from showing too much pride
Is frequently undignified.
He’s very easily taken in —
Just chuck him underneath the chin,
Or slap his back or shake his paw,
And he will gambol and guffaw.
He's such an easy-going lout,
He'll answer any hail or shout.
Again I must remind you that,
A DOG'S A DOG; A CAT'S A CAT.
With Cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don’t speak till you are spoken to.
Myself, I do not hold with that—
I say, you should address a Cat,
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
I bow, and taking off my hat,
Address him in this form: "Oh, Cat!"
But if it is the Cat next door, whom I have often met before,
[He comes to see me in my flat] I greet him with an "Oopsacat!"
I've heard them call him James Buzz-James, but we've not got so far as names.
Before a Cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar, or Strassburg Pie,
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste —
He’s sure to have his personal taste.
[I know a Cat, who makes a habit
Of eating nothing else but rabbit,
And when he’s finished, licks his paws,
So’s not to waste the onion sauce.]
A Cat’s entitled to expect
These evidences of respect,
And so in time you reach your aim,
And finally call him by his NAME.
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