Dear GOP:
Regarding Mr. Trump:
WHEREUPON, he proposes to jettison the recommendations of the CDC with regard to school re-openings, and to substitute his own policies; and
WHEREUPON, his policies, which appear to be based solely upon improving his reelection prospects, and, in the common parlance, also appear to have been pulled out of his ass;
WHEREUPON, he is imposing these policies in total disregard of the well-being of our children, teachers, administrators, and support staff, and, by way of subsequent transmission, every other human being;
WE HUMBLY ASK YOU TO CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING, delivered in the best “Dead Parrot Sketch” style:
He has lost it.
He is a can short of a six-pack.
He is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
He is off his chump.
He cannot find his ass in the dark with both hands and flashlight.
He is crazier than a shithouse rat.
The lights are on, but no one is home.
He is a danger to himself and others.
Elvis has left the building.
He is insane, mad, nuts, deranged, addled, mentally impaired, non compos mentis, unwell, bonkers, bull-goose looney, apeshit, and batshit.
If you have any remaining decency, PLEASE DO NOT GO ALONG WITH THIS.