Thursday Already
It’s morning in America. Nice to still have an adult at the helm...
What a lovely day it’d be to lob some charges at his predecessor. We can hope.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, June 1, 2023
Note: Due to budget cuts in the debt ceiling deal, there will be no further notice until further notice. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Years since the FBI executed a search warrant to collect more classified documents from Mar-a-Lago that Trump refused to hand over: 1
Days 'til the Great Wisconsin Cheese Festival in Little Chute: 1
Maximum paid weeks Minnesota workers are now entitled to for family/medical leave under a new law written and passed by Democrats: 20
Current price of a barrel of oil, the lowest in 4 weeks: $69.46
Current average price of a gallon ‘o gas in the U.S.: $3.57
Percent of Americans in a LendingTree survey who say they get along with all or most of their neighbors: 60%
Factor by which parents with underage children are more likely to get into an argument or scuffle with a neighbor, versus parents with grownup children: 4:1
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
Environmentalists do not underestimate the difficulties the United States faces in trying to wean itself from fossil fuel.
Pretty much our entire transportation grid is based on the gasoline engine. "Lay rail," is one thing we could do. Switch to cars with hybrid engines, increase fuel-efficiency standards, change as rapidly as possible to renewable energy sources—the menu of alternative behaviors is already long and it works. We can cut greenhouse gases; we can even do it dramatically. We are not helpless.
We are, however, currently governed by an administration of oil executives and people whose main guiding principle seems to be opposing anything Bill Clinton favored. This is both pathetic and ridiculous. Kert Davies, director of Greenpeace USA's global warming campaign, said, "The Bush administration's climate policy smells like Exxon-Mobil."
—June, 2002
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Puppy Pic of the Day (h/t to John in Denver): And upon graduation, we hear Justin partied 'til the wee hours…
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CHEERS to June. Dad and the flag get their day, Juneteenth reminds us again how much work remains to achieve Black equality, LGBTQ pride breaks out around the world in a blizzard of rainbows and clumsily-staged MAGA freakouts, and poor Tessie Hutchinson draws the black spot out of the box again. (But as Old Man Warner so accurately points out every year: "Lottery in June, corn be heavy soon.")
They’ll happen against a backdrop of three events that, as of this morning, may or may not happen this month: Ukraine’s major counterstrike, an increase in the debt ceiling, and federal charges against Donald Trump (and his abettors) for hording classified documents at Mar-a-Lago. But at least we know that Joe Biden’s judicial nominees will continue getting the green light in the Senate, just as we know that when it comes to actual legislation, you may have to wait and hope Santa Claus delivers some this Christmas. Oh, and the Supreme Court can’t wait to formally kick more decent laws to the curb this month with a sneer, a smirk, a “Praise Jeeeezus!” and lots of beer.
What else? It's Candy Month, Adopt-A-Cat Month and, if we can squeeze it in, Accordion Awareness Month. Atlantic hurricane season rolls on through November. Chris Christie unveils his presidential ambitions next week from a beach chair on the George Washington Bridge. Indiana Jones returns to theaters along with a bunch of other sequels, and Season 2 of the decent Paramount+ Star Trek spinoff Strange New Worlds premieres on the 15th. There's a full “strawberry” moon Saturday, so be prepared to amble into the back yard, think of Neil Armstrong and Michael Collins (thankfully Buzz Aldrin still walks among us), and give it a wink. Oh, and a special message from our Maine mosquitoes: "Come on up—we'd love to have your veins over for a drink sometime."
CHEERS to voting rights. The biggest disappointment for me of the Biden era—adding that we're not blaming him for it—is Congress's refusal to support and pass a national voting rights law that protects voters and poll workers from intimidation while making the process of voting, whether in-person or by mail, as smooth and quick as possible. So it's up to the states. In MAGA-run states they're letting their freak fascism flags fly. But in the blue states they're supporting democracy. Two recent examples:
Connecticut The Connecticut Senate has advanced a voting rights bill in honor of the late Georgia Congressman and civil rights activist John Lewis. … The bill would codify into Connecticut law several provisions of the federal Voting Rights Act of 1965, which bans discrimination in voting and prohibits any city or town from engaging in intimidating, deceptive or obstructive acts that affect a person's right to vote.
Nevada [A new law] is meant to deter attacks against those in state and local election offices who have faced increased scrutiny for doing their jobs, Democratic Secretary of State Cisco Aguilar said Tuesday. Threats and intimidation of election workers had ramped up significantly in Nevada and across the country amid falsehoods and conspiracy theories about foul play denying former President Donald Trump victory in the 2020 presidential race. … The bill, passed unanimously through both chambers of Nevada’s Democratic-controlled Legislature, was a core campaign promise from Aguilar, who cited an exodus of election workers across the state due in part to increased threats. The law also makes it a felony to disseminate personal information about an election worker without their consent.
The amazing part about the Nevada bill? It was signed into law by the state's governor—a Republican. Prediction: the only Christmas cards he gets this year are coming from Democrats.
CHEERS to an idea that was ahead of its time. Speaking of voting, on June 1, 1869, Thomas Edison received a patent for his mechanical voting machine. He lost money, though, because no one wanted to use it. Democrats found it too easy to hack and Republicans found it too hard to hack.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to time savers. 111 years ago this week, the newly-invented washer/dryer combo went on sale for the first time. It was promptly followed a few hours later by another milestone: the first teenagers to totally ignore it.
JEERS to staring down the barrel of the bullshit. As we wave goodbye to May 2023, we note that last month we marked the one-year tragi-versaries of the gun massacres in Buffalo, New York (in a supermarket by a white supremacist inspired by Fox News) and Uvalde, Texas (in an elementary school by a sadistic loner inspired by the voices in his head). In the time since…
» Republican politicians have blamed everything (Doors? Really?) except the weapons of war the shooters used to unleash the carnage. As always, their “thoughts and prayers” comforted no one and failed to bring the victims back to life.
» The police leapt into full damage control mode, launching sham investigations and lying to the public while getting all huffy and chest-thumpy whenever anyone dared question them.
» The Department of Justice got involved to minimal effect.
» The victims' families buried their loved ones, including 19 kids.
» A group of Republican Senators demanded a pat on the head for holding a Zoom meeting to chew up time until the public got over its outrage.
» Joe Biden did what he could as president, which basically amounted to saying angry stuff and giving Congress the stink eye.
» Big surprise: Social media was not helpful.
» 18-year-olds continue buying weapons of war without a background check or permit, typing up their manifestos, heiling Hitler, and planning their plans.
And one year later the rest of the civilized world continues to thank god that there are oceans and/or the Panama Canal separating us from them, while Canada continues pounding on the floor and yelling at us to quit all the shooting or they're calling the landlord.
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Ten years ago in C&J: June 1, 2013
JEERS to a weekend of pointed fingers. Whoa—what the hell happened?!! Illinois was poised to celebrate the passage of a marriage-equality bill on Friday night. All that was needed was a vote in the House and Governor Quinn's signature. But Friday night came and went without that House vote, and now everybody's blaming everybody else (including their dogs, several of whom apparently ate the bill) as the insufferable right-wing bigot grifters crow about their huge victory in order to soak up some fundraising cash. But at least there's still a chance to make it a summer of love:
The Illinois same sex marriage bill had its deadline date for approval extended into the summer. House Speaker Michael Madigan (D-Chicago) acted quietly on Friday night before the House adjourned to extend the bill’s deadline for approval until August 31.
If a special House session is called between now and August 31 they can schedule another vote on the marriage bill. So keep the faith, gay Illinoisians and Illinoisianettes—soon enough you'll be throwing bouquets, and the bigots will be throwing tantrums.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to slithering for science. If you thought a helicopter on Mars was an outlandish idea, wait’ll you see what NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory plans to put there (or on other celestial bodies) next. It walks down stairs alone or in pairs and makes a ssssslinkety sound…..
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Very impressive. Nice job. Please proceed. But if one of ‘em slithers up through my toilet I’m filing a complaint.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Bill in Portland Maine. Enough said. Good night, everybody!"
—Rendy Jones
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