Lets get this out of the way: it is super super awful and distressing that Trump is about to be our president. So worrying and awful. He is a terrible, terrible man and we will face some really tough and difficult things.
Just wanted to get that out of the way before someone climbs into the comments to tell me that I am sugar coating things and living in a fantasy world.
So back to my tips — these are things I am doing for myself and they are helping. If they don’t speak to you, don’t do them.
But please try to do SOMETHING to help yourself survive the next four years and to help our country and world survive.
We need you and we need you to take care of yourself!
1. Find a Path for Yourself
You don’t need to know right now how you are going to make the world a better place over the next few years, but you will need to find a path eventually. I have a ton of ideas at the end of this post for you to check out. Pick one and try it. If it makes you feel good, stick with it. If it doesn’t, do something else.
Remember, you are not responsible for saving democracy. You are not responsible for making the world a kind and caring place. You are just one person.
But you are one person! You can do your part and, frankly, you must.
Some days it may be small things, like smiling at someone or listening to someone or helping someone carry groceries. Remember: fascism is fear and hatred and ugliness. Anything you can do to increase hope and love and beauty is making the world better.
But also try to do something larger (see list at the end of the post). Do this not only because we need you, but also because being a part of the change will make you happier and more hopeful and more connected.
I found this Carter quote inspiring:
2. Deal with reality — He is POTUS
This might annoy some people. This is definitely going to annoy some people. But you can’t ignore that he is going to be POTUS. He won. You can’t avoid his name or his face or his awful voice completely. As gross as he is, he won.
In 2016, I did a lot of “not my President” and refused to say his name. But I am not doing that this time. He isn’t Voldemort. He doesn’t have magical power that will come from refusing to acknowledge him. I don’t have to let him live in my head (see tip #5) but refusing to say his name gives him more power in some ways and gives you less.
Yes, he will be POTUS but he is also a pathetic, disgusting, sad loser of a man. Trump — he is disgusting and weird. Trump -- he is a convicted felon. Trump — he is about to become president. All of those things are true. Ignoring it won’t make it go away. You are stronger and braver than that!! At some point we all need to come to terms with it because saying things like "he is not my president” does not actually make him not president.
For me, it is freeing to not be fighting reality. I can hate it. But it is true. And he isn’t so all powerful that I need to avoid his name or image.
3. It is not bad for sane people to try to work with him
This one is REALLY going to annoy some people. I realize I am in a minority here.
People want everyone to shun him. I get it. Meeting with him feels like it is giving him legitimacy. But you guys, he HAS legitimacy. He is going to be President soon. Because of that, the anger at Fetterman for going to talk to trump seems out of place to me.
What is to be gained by making sure that trump never has a sane person in his ear?
Do you not all remember the stories from the last time about people talking him out of nutty things?
It is GOOD for him to listen to someone other than Elon and Miller.
What isn’t healthy for us (imho) is getting mad at one another and throwing stones at our allies because they aren’t doing just what we want. That isn’t going to help us get through the next four years. It is going to waste our energy on people who we actually mostly agree with.
Don’t villainize people for talking to him or Obama for laughing at something he said. It is a waste of your mental energy
Do I love that W didn’t acknowledge him at the funeral? Sure. Because I hate Trump. But what good will that do? Honestly. Other than making people like us feel good. He is still going to president whether W talks to him or not.
IMHO, the best thing we can hope for is that some saner people will be there to tell him that he can’t invade Canada and why.
So I would recommend not freaking out anytime someone talks to him. It is also not good for your mental health to assume that anyone talking to him is necessarily evil wrong or stupid and something to freak out about. It is negative energy and more noise.
I know many won’t agree with me, but it is how I feel.
I’m glad some sane people sometimes have his ear.
And I am going to get through the next four years in much better shape if I don’t spend my time furious with my allies for not doing everything just like I would. Focus on the real enemy.
4. Remind yourself of many brave people standing up to him
At the same time, I am very proud of all the people standing up to him and I am grateful that there are so many of them!
Some examples:
Sen. Adam Schiff announced that he will attend Trump inauguration with DC Police Officer Daniel Hodges, who was beaten and injured by Trump’s mob while defending the Capitol on J6.
Vengeful Biden Uses Century-Old Law to Thwart Trump Plan
It looks like Joe Biden will be a thorn in Donald Trump’s side long after he vacates the Oval Office, after the outgoing president used a pair of aging laws to effectively troll his successor.
Just a day after using a 72-year-old law to stymie Trump’s ambitions to explore offshore drilling opportunities, Biden is at it again—this time deploying a piece of legislation more than a century old to hamper his old foe’s plans.
The ace up “Sleepy Joe’s” sleeve this time proved he’s not so slow, as he invoked the 119-year-old Antiquities Act to protect a vast area of land in southern California, where the Colorado and Mojave Deserts come together.
Mexican President Hits Back at Trump With New Name for North America
Mexico’s president has signaled to Donald Trump that she can play the regional renaming game, too.
Claudia Sheinbaum chided Trump on Wednesday for claiming her nation was run by drug cartels and proposing that the Gulf of Mexico—as its been named since the 17th century—be renamed the “Gulf of America.”
Sheinbaum brandished a massive map of North America from 1607 that labeled the continent as “América Mexicana,” or “Mexican America,” at a news conference. She then joked that maybe Mexico should start referring to the continent as such.
15,000 doctors sent a letter to Congress yesterday opposing Robert Kennedy’s nomination to be head of Health and Human Services. From NBC News:
More than 15,000 doctors have signed a letter urging senators to vote against confirming Robert F. Kennedy Jr., President-elect Donald Trump’s pick for secretary of health and human services.
“The health and well-being of 336 million Americans depend on leadership at HHS that prioritizes science, evidence-based medicine, and strengthening the integrity of our public health system,” the letter reads. “RFK Jr. is not only unqualified to lead this essential agency — he is actively dangerous.”
The letter was posted online by the Committee to Protect Health Care, a physicians advocacy group. Beyond his well-documented anti-vaccine views and advocacy, the letter cites other conspiracy theories Kennedy has actively spread, including baseless claims about a link between school shootings and antidepressants and his promotion of disproven treatments for Covid-19.
“This appointment is a slap in the face to every health care professional who has spent their lives working to protect patients from preventable illness and death,” the letter says.
and this on how foreign leaders are dealing with him
After Trump said he would use economic attacks to absorb Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau recently said there isn't "a snowball's chance in hell" of that happening. Ontario Premier Doug Ford joked, “How about if we buy Alaska, and we'll throw in Minnesota and Minneapolis at the same time.”
Regarding Donald’s threats, Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen said, “Greenland is not for sale.” Greenland’s Prime Minister Múte Egede doubled down, saying it will "never be for sale.”
Panama President José Raúl Mulino didn’t pull any punches either, stating that “every square meter” of the canal “will continue belonging to Panama.”
Even some of our most important allies spoke out forcefully against Trump’s vision for imperialistic expansion. The French Foreign Minister said: “There is no question of the EU letting other nations in the world, whoever they may be, attack its sovereign borders.”
And German Chancellor Olaf Scholz said: “Borders must not be moved by force. This principle applies to every country, whether in the East or the West.” He’s not talking about Putin or Xi Jinping there—he’s talking about Trump. Though the statement could apply to any of them.
When we piece all of the responses together, we can see our allies are not going to put up with Donald’s nonsense a second time.
And this from Joyce Vance on his conviction without jail time
That is an unescapable fact that leaves Americans wondering, rightly, what comes next in our system of justice, where everyday Americans must face a jury and judgment if they commit crimes and are indicted, while Trump avoids that outcome.
Against that backdrop, today’s sentencing hearing, as strange as this may sound, gives me hope more than it gives me pause. It leads me to believe the damage Donald Trump has done and will continue to do to our system can be repaired through individual acts of conscience and courage. Hear me out.
The system is severely stressed at the moment. But the fact that this sentencing took place at all and that Trump now stands as a convicted felon, something that should have happened as a matter of course but was far from certain in this case, is a testament to what we can reclaim. The Judge and prosecutors in court today were American heroes. They put themselves squarely in the sights of a very powerful man. Their sacrifice and willingness to stand up for the rule of law is something we should all honor. They acted with true courage. They refused to obey in advance.
5. Don’t Bathe in His Craziness
This is a big lesson for me to learn (one I didn’t learn in 2016).
Don’t bathe in his crazy.
The man lives on attention and likes to say things that will make us crazy. His followers live on “owning the libs”
Don’t let them own you! He will say WAY more weird and crazy things than he will actually do.
Pay attention to what he is actually doing (and what we can do about it) rather than every crazy word he says.
He doesn’t deserve to live rent free in your mind.
6. Don’t Catastrophize
On a similar note, he will say a lot of awful things and do a lot of awful things and people around him will do the same.
It is easy to look at everything that will happen and jump right to the worst possible outcome from it.
Try not to.
While it is good to be aware of the possible risks associated with his actions, it is bad to spend time assuming that the very worst will happen from everything and thus living in panic.
Again, we can’t ignore the real possible bad outcomes or we won’t work to prevent them. But don’t assume that every single thing will end the worst possible way. That is catastrophizing and it is a recipe for madness.
7. Choose what to read/watch about
You need to be informed, but you don’t need to be obsessed. Reading the news for a few minutes, or a half hour every day is enough. Don’t doom scroll. Don’t obsess. Ask yourself: what good will it do the world for me to read every word of this? How will it help me or anyone else?
It won’t.
Also, add some positivity to your diet. Heather Cox Richardson is not always cheerful but she does not catastrophize and she puts things in a historical context. Chop Wood and Carry Water is my new favorite — easy action items and encouragement. I also like Robin Snyder who makes me laugh with my news — even when the news is awful. Those work for me. Try them (and others) and find what works for you.
8. Choose Kindness
Authoritarianism thrives on people being unkind and cruel. Choose kindness. As much as you can. Be kind to people you love. Be kind to people you don’t know well. Even be kind to your MAGA neighbors and relatives.
9. Choose Joy
As much as this will suck, life will continue. Babies will be born. People will fall in love and get married. The Bills will make the playoffs. Friends will be there to laugh with. Don’t let him rip the joy from your life. Fight. Fight. Fight. But also enjoy. There is nothing worth fighting for if we don’t preserve the things that are worth living for.
10. Celebrate Victories
There will be victories — enjoy the victories
Here are a few good things that have happened recently:
Trump is (finally) dealt legal setbacks from the federal courts.
There’s a mad scramble to establish the legal and historical record over Trump’s criminality before he takes office on January 20. Two big questions still loomed: Would Trump enter office as the first-ever officially convicted and sentenced felon, and would the public ever get to see the evidence and legal arguments that Special Counsel Jack Smith had collected and had intended to present to juries?
Unsurprisingly, Trump is trying to dodge all accountability, including even the official but largely symbolic opprobrium of having the words “convicted felon” as an asterisk below his name. And federal and state prosecutors, along with Judge Juan Merchan in Manhattan, want to make sure their and the juries’ work and efforts weren’t all for nothing.
On Thursday, two big decisions came down, neither of which went Trump’s way. The first was from SCOTUS on a bare 5-4 majority declining to stay his criminal sentencing, while the second was from the 11th Circuit which denied a request by his co-defendants in the Mar-a-Lago classified documents case to prevent the release of Jack Smith’s report on his investigations.
these cases are both glimmers of hope that there will be actual judicial limits on Trump in his second term
Virginia Democrats maintain narrow legislative majorities after special election wins
and even more exciting (to me at least) → Democrats overperform Harris margin by ~3% in both races,
More good things:
We got the last jobs report of the Biden Presidency yesterday morning, and it was another good one - 256,000 jobs, far more than what was expected. Unemployment rate at 4.1%, widely considered to be “full employment.” Wages have risen 3.9% over the past 12 months, outpacing the inflation rate 2.8% during this period.
Garland is taking steps to ensure that the classified documents case report and evidence isn’t disappeared by Trump’s incoming AG Pam Bondi. Politico reports that he is providing a full copy of the report of that investigation to the House and Senate Judiciary Committee’s Chairs and Ranking Members. That means that Dick Durbin and Jamie Raskin will have that full report before Trump takes office.… That lowered my blood pressure a few points.
All city buildings in Chicago now use 100% clean power.
The S&P 500 gained more than 23% in 2024 after rising 24% in 2023. The back-to-back gains of over 20% is the best performance for the benchmark index since 1997 and 1998.
Judge Juan Merchan rejected Donald Trump’s request to throw out the guilty verdict in his hush money case as a result of his victory in the November election. Yah, he isn’t going to jail, but honestly, he wasn’t going to anyway. He would have likely had probation or something if he wasn’t president, but again REALITY CHECK he is going to be president so this is really the best logical outcome (at this point).
In Illinois, Democratic Governor Pritzker announced an expansion in Medicaid coverage to include doula and lactation consultant services.
Gov. Kathy Hochul of NY signed a law requiring companies that are big fossil fuel polluters to help pay to repair damage caused by extreme weather.
Ruben Gallego has replaced Kyrsten Sinema in the U.S., Senate!
11. Remind yourself that they are narcissistic idiots with a thin majority
The infighting will keep them from getting a lot done. We are ALREADY seeing it and he isn’t even in office. He got a long honeymoon in 2016. Not this time.
Steve Bannon Hurls More Bombs at MAGA as He Re-Ups Civil War
Steve Bannon isn’t letting the MAGA civil war fade away in 2025.
The bombastic conservative podcaster took personal shots at the newly re-elected House Speaker Mike Johnson on his show Monday and asserted he now views “scam” H1-B visas as another form of illegal immigration.
Those topics dominated right-wing circles early last week, but Bannon made clear he’s not ready for the so-called MAGA civil war to subside just yet.
Politico reports yesterday morning that the Trump transition is struggling to get their nominees ready for their confirmation hearings. Underneath the bluster and blather there is also a shitshow:
The Trump transition’s weeks-long dawdling on signing agreements with the White House and Justice Department — along with its rejection of federal email servers, office space and other resources — may be coming back to bite them.
Republicans’ ambitions of confirming a swath of key Cabinet members by Inauguration Day are fading fast as senators in both parties complain that they haven’t yet seen the FBI background checks and financial disclosures they typically receive at least a week before holding a hearing on a nomination. The delays have already prompted the Senate Agriculture Committee to postpone its hearing for DONALD TRUMP’s pick to lead the USDA and may also push back hearings with nominees to lead the Departments of Education, Health and Human Services and the CIA….
…..
The Office of Government Ethics, which is responsible for ensuring federal officials sever financial ties with the industries they oversee, confirmed to West Wing Playbook that it has not yet finished processing and sending to the Senate the disclosures of any Trump nominees.
12. Work Work Work for 2026 and 2028
We can win in the future and we will win in the future. Taking the House in 26 is something we CAN do. We can even take the Senate with hard work. We can take local races.
I’m not going to push you to start thinking about that yet, but it’ll come before you know it.
Be ready. It’ll make all the difference in our country and in how you feel.
How House Democrats are plotting their comeback
The 119th Congress was just sworn in—and Democrats are already plotting how to take the gavel back from Speaker Mike Johnson and his noxious Republican conference.
House Majority PAC, a super PAC that seeks to elect Democrats to the House, announced its top 29 targets for the 2026 midterms, as well as another 16 reach seats that could be in play in the right political environment.
The group—which touted its 2024 track record of helping Democrats net a seat in the House despite the fact that Donald Trump won the popular vote nationwide—said it will begin by recruiting and vetting strong candidates in target districts.
“Headed into the midterms with lessons learned from 2024, HMP is today launching a 2026 Recruitment Fund—which will allow us to recruit and prepare potential candidates earlier than ever,” the group said in a news release. “With Republicans like [New York Rep.] Mike Lawler, [Arizona Rep.] Juan Ciscomani, [Michigan Rep.] John James, and potentially others likely leaving their seats, we must ensure Democratic campaigns are set up for success—and that comes through conducting qualitative and quantitative research to develop specific messaging and strategies for individual races.”
This seems like a winning idea: Zuck's Gift to Trump is an Opportunity for Democrats: If Trump wants to be the president of big business, Democrats should be the party that will stand up to powerful corporations.
On the lighter side
Here are some lovely videos to give you cheer.
Paul Simon being surprised by a little girl singing instead of just listening
Jimmy Carter’s grandson
This made me laugh because I have the maturity of a 12 year old boy (even though I am a middle aged woman)
What can you do to save democracy?
There are many ways to get involved. Everyone can find something that works for them.
Here are some ideas.
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If you can, I strongly recommend going to an in person meeting in your area.
.
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Join the truth brigade! Grassroots-powered lie-stopping. Person by person; mind by opened mind
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Election Response Center is a project hosted by Working Families Party, MoveOn Civic Action, Indivisible, and Public Citizen. They are organizing lots of events to get people fighting. Join one at this link
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The ACLU plays a key role in filing lawsuits that often stop voter suppression. Get involved with them at this link.
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Get involved with the Democratic party. We aren’t perfect, but they are fucking evil.
- Get involved with the States Project They are working on turning state legislatures blue
- Get involved with Swing Left. They are working on races right now!
- People For the American Way is a national progressive advocacy organization that inspires and mobilizes Americans to defend freedom, justice, and democracy from those who threaten to take them away. Get involved with them here
- Center for American Progress Action Fund is an independent, nonpartisan policy institute and advocacy organization that is dedicated to improving the lives of all Americans through bold, progressive ideas, as well as strong leadership and concerted action. Get involved with them here
Looking for something more specific?
Want to focus on the ENVIRONMENT:
Want to focus on CIVIL RIGHTS:
HUMAN RIGHTS - GENERALLY:
LGBTQ+:
WOMEN:
Huge thanks to DKos used dabug for help with this list.
Don’t let the options overwhelm you! Try to pick one thing and see if it calls to you. If it doesn’t find something else.
There are so many ways to get involved and help!
“Whatever happens, stay alive.
Don't die before you're dead.
Don't lose yourself, don't lose hope, don't lose direction.
Stay alive, with yourself, with every cell of your body, with every fiber of your skin.
Stay alive, learn, study, think, read, build, invent, create, speak, write, dream, design.
Stay alive, stay alive inside you, stay alive also outside, fill yourself with colors of the world, fill yourself with peace, fill yourself with hope.
Stay alive with joy.
There is only one thing you should not waste in life,
and that's life itself..."
I am so proud and so lucky to be in this with all of you. ✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 💙❤️💛💚✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿
