The New Pledge of Allegiance
"I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the Favored and not Favored States of Trumplandia,
and to the Kleptocracy for which it stands,
one nation under Gawd, irreparably divided,
with liberty and justice for those who have written the most eloquent love letters and have purchased sufficient Trump merchandise.
Amen, Hallelujah, Praise the Lard.”