FBI Director Kash Patel is not a smart man. He failed upward by parroting Trump’s conspiracy theories, but his time at the FBI is just a litany of hilarious failure.
His latest misstep—actually, his latest giant mistake—is that he publicly disclosed the details of the “potential” Michigan terrorist plot outside Detroit before investigators were done gathering info about whether the attack was imminent.
“Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in democracy...” by Mike Luckovich
Oh wait, sorry. It might be a bigger mistake than that. It might actually be that there was never a terror plot to begin with.
Patel simply cannot help himself. He loves nothing more than posting and bragging and, ideally, bragging while posting.
So, early on Friday, when the rest of you sleepyheads were just getting started with your day, Patel was already up, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and posting on X at 7:32 AM: “This morning the FBI thwarted a potential terrorist attack and arrested multiple subjects in Michigan who were allegedly plotting a violent attack over Halloween weekend. More details to come.”
He also added the now-required boasting that also manages to sound very Nazi: “Thanks to the men and women of FBI and law enforcement everywhere standing guard 24/7 and crushing our mission to defend the homeland."
In reality, the investigation was in the early stages, and no criminal charges had been prepared, nor did the government know what the suspects planned to do. So, he basically publicized an open investigation before it concluded, and cut it off at the knees by doing so before the suspects did anything.
Patel also gave an interview to Newsweek about it, and lucky, lucky Newsweek, they also got to talk to Deputy FBI Co-Director Dan Bongino so he could say dumb braggy nonsense just like his boss.
Deputy FBI Co-Director Dan Bongino
“This is what real law enforcement looks like—proactive, relentless, and focused on saving lives. Our agents and partners in Michigan acted fast, followed the evidence, and stopped a threat before anyone got hurt. Under the leadership of Director Patel and the watch of this FBI, America is a safer place."
Dan, quick question: How are things going these days since you’re so bad at your job that they invented a whole new job—co-deputy director—so that you would have a babysitter?
Patel doesn’t appear to have gotten approval from Main Justice before hopping on X, because Patel is not just stupid. He’s also a glory hound.
It isn’t just that Patel may have prematurely cut off an active FBI investigation into a terror plot. It’s also that the terror plot may be nonexistent.
Of the five extremely deadly terrorists arrested last Friday, two have already been released. And, according to a lawyer for one of the men, it sounds a lot more like these five were not mastermind Islamic superterrorists but instead five young men, ages 16-20, who like to play video games and talk sh*t.
Indeed, two unnamed law enforcement sources told CBS that there was “no concrete plan for an attack.”
Of course, this isn’t the first time Patel has absolutely embarrassed himself on social media.
Related | Kash Patel doesn't want you to forget that he sucks too
After James Comey was indicted by everyone’s favorite former real estate lawyer, Lindsey Halligan, Patel went to his favorite Nazi bar/social media site to remind everyone that the FBI did too help with this sham indictment: “Career FBI agents, intel analysts, and staff led the investigation into Comey and others. They called the balls and strikes and will continue to do so.”
What investigation was this, actually? It’s certainly not reflected in the two-page fact-free indictment filed by Halligan. But sure, Patel, please proceed.
After right-wing activist Charlie Kirk was shot, Patel could not get on social media fast enough to say that there was a “subject” in custody, perhaps hoping no one would notice he didn’t say “suspect.” And Patel probably really wishes no one had noticed that the “subject” was cut loose a couple of hours later and was definitely not a suspect.
Or who could forget when he breathlessly posted photos of unused bullet casings after a shooting in Texas, bullet casings where the suspect had helpfully scrawled “ANTI-ICE” in sharpie marker.
Oh, well. At least he has a government jet he can fly all around the country to see his girlfriend and catch some sports. But you won’t know about that any longer, since Patel was so embarrassed at people mocking him for his little girlfriend boondoggle trip on the taxpayer’s dime that he decided to fire the person overseeing the FBI’s airplane fleet.
That’s an awful weenie baby move for such an alleged tough guy. Surely a big warrior like you can take a little heat about your jet trips all around the country on the taxpayer’s dime.
Man up, Patel.
