C&J Annual Fundraiser
Bless me, Father, for I have blogged. It has been 21 years, 4 months, and 18 days since my first C&J, and 12 months since my last fundraiser which—funny story—is my primary source of income. This is especially true now that I’m no longer earning a small but helpful stipend from the DK home office, a result of no longer posting on the front page.
So my soul is once again on the block. To usher C&J into another year (we hope) of being bought and paid for by you, the best online community on Planet Earth, please consider making a one-time donation or signing up for a monthly contribution. After all, there is “no daily column that's more celebrated for excellence in mediocrity” than this one—and that’s a claim you can rely on, since it was given a green check mark by my Washington D.C. research think tank BillyFact.
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We can't say it enough: thank you for splashing here, whether daily or just occasionally. By keeping me off the streets you've made Portland's overworked municipal bloggercatcher very happy.
And now, the content you’ve paid for...some of it in color!
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, April 28, 2025
Note: Please remember C&J in your will. I especially like your tool shed.
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5 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Memorial Day: 28
Days 'til the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival in Des Moines: 5
Current expected 1st-quarter GDP growth, according to the latest estimates: 0%
Estimated number of measles cases in the U.S., up 800 from three days ago: 900
First-time unemployment claims announced last week, up 6,000 from the previous week: 222,000
Favorable/Unfavorable opinion of the Republican Party among independents polled by NBC News: 30% / 71%
Favorable/Unfavorable opinion of the Democratic Party among independents in the same poll: 36% / 64%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Okay, Apollo, I think you made your point…
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CHEERS to deciding the leader of our 51st state. I kid, I kid. We love our northern neighbors best as an independent nation. And today Canadians in all 343 electoral districts will find out which party and prime minister will have the honor of being the ones to protect their sovereignty against the unruly MAGA mob currently not protecting ours. (Any fresh national security Signal chats for Russia to listen in on today, Secretary *Hic!*seth?) Nevertheless, our descent into madness and world domination are definitely on the polite minds of Ann Murray and whoever else lives up there:
Three quarters of Canadians dislike President Donald Trump — and Conservatives appear likely to pay a painful price for it in the country’s Monday election, according to a POLITICO/Focaldata poll of Canadian voters.
Choose wisely, neighbor.
About two in five voters (39 percent) told Focaldata, a U.K. pollster, that Trump was a top concern in the election, second only to cost of living (60 percent).
Since Trump’s return to the White House—and Justin Trudeau’s exit as Canada’s prime minister—the Conservative Party led by populist Pierre Poilievre has watched a 25-pointpolling lead disintegrate in front of its eyes. Conservatives now trail in most surveys, including the POLITICO/Focal data poll.
And just to show you how chaotic and inefficient this parliamentary democracy and its socialist tendencies are: the campaign was only five weeks long, there have been no accusations that the elections are "rigged," and the whole thing will be wrapped up by the time folks in the Yukon blow out their candles and go to bed. May the best Liberal party win.
CHEERS to a fine sendoff. Pope Francis was laid to rest over the weekend. In case you're just hearing about this, what happened was, he died.
JEERS to poopy pants. 50 years ago this week, a patent was granted for Pampers disposable diapers. The sad part is, it's just a matter of time before I'll need them again.
CHEERS to the thundering hand of justice. Speaking of poopy pants: George Santos. The New York hot mess who shamelessly rode the MAGA train to a seat in Congress as Marjorie Taylor-Greene in a suit, and promptly got derailed amid a fraud scandal, got a look at his immediate future in a federal courtroom Friday:
Disgraced former U.S. Rep. George Santos was sentenced to more than seven years in federal prison--the maximum he faced--on Friday after pleading guilty to a series of fraudulent schemes. […]
Proof that shit on the bottom of a shoe and a defibrillator can create life.
Santos, 36, was convicted of wire fraud and aggravated identity theft. He faced a sentence of 75 to 87months imprisonment, including a mandatory minimum two-year sentence for aggravated identity theft.
And you'll never guess what he told Judge Joanna Seybert before his sentencing: "I now know I done wrong, I'm real sorry, and golly gee can't we just drop this and… Waaaahhhhhh!!! Waaaaaahhhhh!!! Pardon me, President Trump!!! Waaaaaahhhhh!!!" We hear it took the bailiff three Swiffers to clean up the mess.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to Coretta Scott King. Yesterday was the 98th birthday of the late Mrs. MLK, Jr.:
Her remarkable partnership with Dr. King resulted not only in four children, who became dedicated to carrying forward their parent’s work, but also in a life devoted to the highest values of human dignity in service to social change.
January 19, 2004: Coretta Scott King speaks during Martin Luther King Jr.’s 75th birthday commemoration at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta.
Mrs. King traveled throughout the world speaking out on behalf of racial and economic justice, women’s and children’s rights, gay and lesbian dignity, religious freedom, the needs of the poor and homeless, full-employment, health care, educational opportunities, nuclear disarmament and environmental justice.
She lent her support to pro-democracy movements world-wide and consulted with many world leaders, including Corazon Aquino, Kenneth Kaunda, and Nelson Mandela.
Said Mrs. King: "Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated." I guess that explains why I see so many Trump cultists hobbling around on crutches these days.
JEERS to words that bite back. Fifty-eight years ago today, on April 28, 1967, General William Westmoreland said that the U.S. "would prevail in Vietnam." The producer of Laugh-In politely replied: "Please quit stealing our jokes."
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 28, 2015
JEERS to the great Bamboozlepalooza. Conservatives held their 331st formal gathering of 2015 over the weekend. They called it the Faith and Freedom Summit. It was part tent revival, part trinket bazaar, part ice cream social and, when the Republican candidates for president showed up, a vetting zoo. Happily, there were no accidental shootings, but several people were sent to the hospital after eating Mabel Higginbotham's "famous" rhubarb pie. We're told it's famous mostly for sending people to the hospital.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to swearing in class. Can't let today go by without noting one of the most awesome exchanges in senate committee hearing history. Fifteen years ago, during a grilling of smug, entitled Goldman Sachs executives, the late Senator Carl Levin enshrined anew catchphrase into our national lexicon while quoting an internal email: "Boy, that was one shitty deal!" Relive the squirming of the bankster worm:
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Goldman Sachs made billions out of that scheme, by the way. And all we commoners got out of it was a new catchphrase that’s fun to say but worth about as much as a condo next to Chernobyl reactor #4. Now that’s a shitty deal.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“This Cheers and Jeers is the most lunatical thing I’ve ever read.”
—Justin Wolfers
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