Freddie appeared next to me on the couch. “What doing?” he wondered.
I kept scrolling on my phone. “Looking for flowers to order for my mom that actually look like they’re worth what they’re charging,” I explained.
“Flowers are a silly gift,” Freddie sniffed. He perked up. “Unless you can eat them,” he said.
“Nope,” I said.
He settled down next to me and tucked his paws under his body. “Silly,” he said.
“Flowers are a pretty traditional Mother’s Day gift,” I explained. “And my mother loves getting flowers.” I selected a bouquet and clicked the hyperlink to pay.
He huffed a bored sigh and I eyed him. “Wanna look at some memes?” I asked.
He perked up again. “Sure!”
A gentle reminder of how we do things: 🐱🐶🐦
- Do not troll the diary. If you hate pootie diaries, leave now. No harm, no foul.
- Please do share pics of your fur kids! If you have health/behavior issues with your pets, feel free to bring it to the community.
- Pooties are cats; Woozles are dogs. Birds... are birds! Peeps are people.
- Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. If you’re having “issues” with another Kossack, keep it “out there.” This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly.
- There are some pics we never post: snakes, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated. If we alert you to it, please remember that we do have phobic peeps who react strongly to them. If you keep posting banned pics...well then...the Tigress will have to take matters in hand. Or, paw.
“Do you think of me as your mom?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said, immediately. I flushed with pleasure. “And also my chew toy and that annoying person who picks me up...”
“Alright,” I said, stopping him. “I get it.”
“We should cuddle like that,” I said.
“Too hot,” he complained.
I sighed. “It really is.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You never give me flowers,” I said.
“I gave you a lizard! That was much better!”
I shook my head at him. “Humans prefer flowers to lizards.”
He frowned up at me. “You can eat a lizard! Flowers just sit there, rotting.”
“I don’t want to eat a lizard,” I told him. “I like lizards and prefer them alive.”
"Befriending your food is odd behavior,” he told me.
“I want treats and presents!” he said.
“You get treats and presents all the time,” I pointed out.
“Yeah,” he said on a happy sigh. “It’s pretty great.”
“No kittens!” he said.
“I know,” I said, clicking away.
"I’d protect you like that,” I said.
“I’m not a kitten,” he complained.
“You’re my kitten,” I told him.
“I don’t look anything like you,” he said.
“How do you know? You never look in the mirror, even when I show it to you.”
“Your fur is only on your head. Your ears are in the wrong place, your nose is too short...”
“Okay, okay, you don’t have to critique my looks.”
"I like when we sleep like that,” I said. “I sleep better with you next to me.”
“It’s too hot,” he said, shaking his head.
“It’s too hot,” I agreed, sadly.
"Mothball?!” he said, outraged. “Who would call a cat a mothball?”
“Do you even know what a mothball is?” I asked, eyebrows raised in surprise at his anger.
“Whatever it is, that kitten is not one!”
“I like that you try to make everything better,” Freddie said.
“I like that about you too,” I told him. “You always make me feel better.”
“Can that kitty breathe?” I wondered.
He nodded. “We like to sleep in a pile, so that kitty is very happy.”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” he said, nodding approvingly at the meme.
“I do try, though,” I said on a sigh.
“You do try,” he agreed.
“It’s because little ones can be a lot of work,” I explained before he could ask.
“I was never work,” he said, puffing up.
“Taking care of you is not work,” I said.
“You are much bigger than when we got you,” I said, looking over at him. “Much bigger.”
He frowned. “Rude.”
“Can-opener mom is a good name for you,” he said, leaning forward to sniff the phone screen.
“Is that the only reason you spend time with me?” I asked, squinting at him.
“Of course not,” he said.
I relaxed, nodding.
“You give me treats, too.”
"I think this would be true about me,” I said.
“You’re a good mom,” he said. “Especially when you give me treats.”
“That’s you!” Freddie said “You’d be lost without me!”
“I really would be. But you don’t have to be that close.”
“It’s too hot,” we said together.
“Master of manipulation,” I said, shaking my head in mock sadness.
“It’s worth it for treats,” Freddie said.
“That’s like the fourth time you mentioned treats,” I observed. “Does that mean you want — “
“Yes!” he said, standing.
I laughed and reached for the bag. “I really am a good mom,” I said.
“You sure are,” he gushed.
Happy Caturday, Peeps! And happy mother’s day to all of the moms!
