A Brief Announcement
This lady, our nation’s top law enforcement official, was required by law to release the Epstein files—all of them—weeks ago:
“Fiddle dee dum and fiddle dee dee, I like protecting sex traffickers, oh tee hee hee hee hee!”
Instead, she has chosen to protect the child predators by dragging her designer stilettoes. The Epstein files remain unreleased in violation of federal law.
Where are the Epstein files?
Somebody call the cops on this criminal. Better yet, since she’s descended from immigrants, call ICE and get this scum out of the country.
That will be all.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 13, 2026
Note: Today is Tuesday the 13th. No need to take any special precautions, except perhaps an extra dollop of hand lotion and new deadbolts on your doors, windows, dryer vent and chimney. Other than that, have a sunshine day. (Except you, ICE. You can get the f*ck outta here.) —Mgr.
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By the Numbers:
7 days!!!
Days 'til National Bagel Day: 2
Days 'til NYC Restaurant Week: 7
Number of jobs created in 2024 under Joe Biden: 2.2 million
Number of jobs created in 2025 under Donald Trump: 584,000
Inflation rate in Iran: 40%
Percent of the Venezuela oil industry that Trump actually understands: 0%
Age of The Grateful Dead co-founder Bob Weir when he died over the weekend: 78
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Just another day on the job for Maine Warden K9 Officer Lucy…
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CHEERS to adding a few inches to the height of the blue wave. Boom! Biff! Ka-zow! John Thune's prospects of remaining Senate majority leader after 2026 just dimmed a bit as former Alaska congresswoman Mary “fish, family, freedom” Peltola announced yesterday that she intends to take a big ol' salmon skillet to Republican Dan Sullivan's hiney and boot him from the chamber. Gee, ya think she might have a message that'll resonate?
“Growing up, Alaska was a place of abundance. Now, we have scarcity,” Peltola said in a video announcing her campaign. “The salmon, large game, and migratory birds that used to fill our freezers are harder to find. So we buy more groceries, with crushing prices.”
Mary Peltola on the stump.
Peltola enters the race after having represented Alaska in Congress as its lone House member, with a record of performing better than the average Democrat in the red state.
Peltola, a former state legislator, first won a special election in 2022 and a full term later that year, becoming the first Alaska Native elected to Congress.
Remember: if someone comes up to you and asks where Mary Peltola stands on an issue you're not sure about, just tell 'em: "I don’t know…but Alaska!" (I’ll show myself out.)
JEERS to the rumble in the D.C. jungle. Fed Chairman Jerome Powell weighs 80 pounds, has trouble lifting anything heavier than a pencil, and needs weights in his shoes on windy days. And now he's being picked on by a schoolyard bully named Trump:
Federal prosecutors are conducting a criminal investigation of Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell focused on the $2.5 billion renovation of the central bank’s headquarters in Washington, D.C., and his related testimony to Congress, he said on Sunday evening.
“Bring it on, Dementia Don.”
Powell said the probe is the result of long-standing frustration by President Donald Trump over the Fed’s refusal to cut interest rates as quickly and as much as the president has demanded.
The investigation is being overseen by the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Columbia, according to the newspaper.
That office is led by U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro.
It almost makes you feel sorry for the guy, knowing he's going to lose. Trump, I mean.
CHEERS to one of the good guys. A timely anniversary to remember: Minnesota Senator Hubert Humphrey—aka Mayor of Minneapolis, LBJ's vice president, 1968 presidential candidate (great platform except for supporting the Vietnam War) and fierce advocate in the war on poverty—died 48 years ago this week much too young at 66. He was wise:
"Compassion is not weakness, and concern for the unfortunate is not socialism."
Humphrey in his prime.
"Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law."
“We seek an America able to preserve and nurture all the basic rights of free expression, yet able to reach across the divisions that too often separate race from race, region from region, young from old, worker from scholar, rich from poor. We seek an America able to do this in the higher knowledge that our goals and ideals are worthy of conciliation and personal sacrifice.”
"Liberalism, above all, means emancipation—emancipation from one's fears, his inadequacies, from prejudice, from discrimination, from poverty."
And a special shout-out from Humphrey to the MAGA cult: "The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously." Amen.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to discs that aren’t the herniated kind. Wham-O began producing the "Frisbee" 69 years ago this month. Ever wonder where the name comes from?
The Frisbie Baking Company (1871-1958) of Bridgeport, Connecticut, made pies that were sold to many New England colleges. Hungry college students soon discovered that the empty pie tins could be tossed and caught, providing endless hours of game and sport.
A Frisbee from the ‘76 Democratic convention.
Many colleges have claimed to be the home of 'he who was first to fling.’ Yale College has even argued that in 1820, a Yale undergraduate named Elihu Frisbie grabbed a passing collection tray from the chapel and flung it out into the campus, thereby becoming the true inventor of the Frisbie and winning glory for Yale. That tale is unlikely to be true since the words 'Frisbie's Pies' was embossed in all the original pie tins and from the word 'Frisbie' was coined the common name for the toy.
Frisbees remind me of the Republican party: Lightweight, logic as contorted as a no-look reverse-flick backhanded corkscrew air bounce, and the only thing keeping them aloft is spin.
CHEERS to pushing back. It must really suck living under an authoritarian regime, where a "strongman" is surrounded by brainwashed sycophants who do his bidding with ruthless fanaticism to the point of losing their humanity in a cloud of immoral and unethical cruelty and unfairness, all while claiming religious piety and benevolence. And when the ruler’s subjects get out of line, even with nothing more than their voices, they're subjected to violence, up to and including murder, by the authoritarian leader's shock troops. But as we've seen, the people have had enough, and are rising up in a groundswell of righteous anger, as demonstrated by the peaceful protests that took place over the weekend in cities all over the country, leaving the authoritarian regime scrambling to up-arm their stormtroopers and disperse the throngs of freedom-seeking citizens so they can get back to their sick sexual proclivities and scummy money hoarding. Now…if only I could remember if I'm talking about Iran or the United States. (As usual, it'll probably come to me tonight at 3am.)
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Twenty years ago in C&J: January 13, 2006
JEERS to Journalingus 101. Pay attention...this is how things apparently work now in the cubicles at the Washington Post. Via Media Matters:
If the Post reports that Bush says "the earth is flat, the sky is red, and the moon is made of green cheese," the Post is under no obligation to include information rebutting each of these false claims, as long as it includes mention of someone disagreeing with one of them.
Yes, but which one?? Which one???
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And just one more…
CHEERS to proving the dummy wrong. Sixteen years ago this week I got an URGENT email from some conservative hack who wanted me to know something very important. It's—as most of these conspiratorial screeds are—very long, but here's the Crazy Cliffs Notes version. Being a fan of alliteration, the first sentence gave me goosebumps:
The discredited, democrat funded 'DailyKos' web site continues with it's daily doctored, dishonest, democrat funded pro-Obama polling numbers. Today's doctored poll shows Obama's approval numbers a full EIGHT points higher than the average of all the respected, neutral, trusted polls and a full TEN points higher than the respected CBS News poll released earlier today.
Nobody crosses our Keyboard Kingpin. No one.
Let's be clear, Kos is taking money from democrats to doctor opinion polls and the boot-lickers and sycophants that support Kos are afraid to challenge Kos. Remember, dissenting opinion, debate and argument are not allowed on the Kos web site. If you disagree with Kos you are not allowed to post articles on the democrat funded Kos web site so none of the information regarding doctored Kos polls and other Kos lies will ever appear on his web site. Much like the low rated Olbermann program, dissent on the 'DailyKos' is forbidden!
The evidence and history of the phony doctored polls on the democrat funded DailyKos irrefutable and striking, unfortunately the anonymous so-called writers that post stories on Kos are not allowed to criticize him or they'll be banned for life.
And this is where yours truly takes the "democrat funded" risk of a lifetime—as I do every year at this time—by stepping off the ledge and testing the emailer's grand theory. As a Daily Kos "bootlicker" this is difficult, but here goes: Markos, you are a butthead. The rest is in God's hands. Please pray for my soul.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"The Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool can neither be punctured, deflated, nor transferred to others. Neither Bill in Portland Maine’s will nor the Statutes of the C&J Foundation mention any such possibility."
—C&J Prize Committee
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