I saw an interesting post on BlueSky today (I’m not sharing their name in order to protect their privacy):
I’m seeing a whole lot of “but what about” posts on here today.
We’ve reached the point of fascism (a long time ago, honestly) when things are really bad for a lot of people.
Someone naming how it’s bad for them isn’t taking anything from you. Solidarity with each other is the way out of this.
I think about this a lot, having been on the receiving and, admittedly, giving end of “whataboutism.”
At a basic level, I get the “whataboutism” reaction, at least in some cases. (In the words of Alan Moore, “without condemning or condoning, I understand.”) Of course, usually when I see it employed, it’s a way of minimizing or outright showing contempt for someone else’s loss for the sake of being cruel and inflicting further harm. Either that or as a way of deflecting responsibility or guilt if the person who caused harm is from the same group/team/etc.
However, It can — doesn’t always, but can — come from an honest place of perceived unfairness, either because of what is seen to be a double-standard, or because we’re alone in our grief and nobody’s showing us the same compassion they’re showing others. It can feel like a betrayal from people we thought would get our backs, especially if we’ve gotten theirs.
That being said, while it’s an understandable natural reaction in the moment, in the long run, it’s self-defeating and self-destructive. Especially at a time when so many people in this country and around the world are under attack from all kinds of threats. If you minimize someone else’s loss by bringing up another hardship, that’s not going to create the kind of allyship any of us need. It’ll just foster resentment and bitterness, building walls instead of bridges.
And Lord knows I’m guilty of this too, and it’s something I need to work on.
Solidarity is the antithesis of whataboutism. It’s a communal sense of “I’ve got your back.”
I’d like to think a lot of us are here because we want better for our country and our world, and our drive to make positive changes comes from a place of compassion. And it can sometimes feel like we’re the only ones who do.
Which brings me to a thread by the same poster on a similar line:
I cannot emphasize enough that the problem is not that people “don’t care” about fascism—or any of the underlying oppressions that brought us to this point.It’s that they think they’re alone in caring, so they lose faith in the struggle.
One of the things I’ve learned from the ongoing ICE occupation of Minnesota is that people have cared the whole time. A lot of us have been showing up the whole time.
It’s honestly insulting and dangerous to erase all of that resistance.
Whenever you get the temptation to say “no one else cares,” remember that we’re in a massive propaganda ecosystem intended to isolate and demobilize us.
And then go find five people that care and ask them if they need any help. Our hope is restored through the work and the community.
This is something I think all of us can do in our own communities — and in this one. If you need to have your internal moment of whataboutism, get it out of your system and then let it go before engaging. Show people you’ve got their backs rather than coming over as only caring about watching your own.
It may not be enough to turn the tide of all the relentless corruption and cruelty Trump and his ilk spew at us at a hideously rapid pace, but we can make it easier for other people to get through it.
