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Dispatch from THE GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 20, 2004: Iowa post-mortem
CHEERS to Iowans. Lively caucus footage, high turnout (122,000) reveal democratic process at its best. I can't wait for Maine's caucus so I can...um...stay home (I sent in my absentee ballot last week...ahem).
JEERS to Iowa hype. Ooh...Kerry scores TWENTY delegates. Edwards gets EIGHTEEN. Somebody catch me, I'm gonna faint.
CHEERS to John Kerry. Hmm...the guy's got legs. Message: experience and media smoochy-smoochies count. But it would have been nice if you'd run on somebody else's money besides your own. (Ahh...Ahh...CHOOperotforbes! `Scuse me.)
CHEERS to John Edwards. Swoooon. He's so dreamy and, like, hopeful and stuff... And Paul Begala says he's got the best stump speech he's ever seen, bar none (including Clinton and FDR!). He may just be the guy who can tell Bush to go to hell and get credit for running a positive campaign.
JEERS to Howard Dean. For all the hype, he might as well have come in dead last. Anger, electability concerns stuck to him like glue (unhinged concession speech didn't help), but rumors of his death have been greatly exaggerated. Kerry and Clark will go at it in NH, and Guv will slip through the middle.
CHEERS to Dick Gephardt. Thanks for the memories, Congressman. Enjoy a long, healthy and active retirement. You're one of the good guys.
JEERS to organized labor endorsements. Unions didn't make a lick of difference. But those T-shirts sure were purty.
CHEERS to Wesley Clark. Weary Iowa candidates arrive in NH to face general's freshly erected barricades. But Kerry's got your number, pal, so check that body armor twice before you two enter the arena.
JEERS to Joe Lieberman. Take a look at Iowa results. Take a look at New Hampshire polls. Take a look at Dick Gephardt sitting off in the corner with no gin rummy partner. Your deal.
JEERS to Internet politics. They didn't translate into election night success. Will New Hampshire uncork the magic?
JEERS to kids. Turns out voters don't give a rat's ass what "our future" thinks as Dean youth crusade falters. Here's a shiny quarter, son, now go back to your piercings and "hippity hoppity" music---leave the important stuff to us grownups.
JEERS to State of the Union hype. Iowa upset steals Bush's thunder in today's press cycle. By the way, will tonight's broadcast come with a laugh track?
What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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