But a fortnight ago, a wave of un-Americanism was in Crawford spreading... Supreme Dick Che Ney, chanting at an undisclosed location, appealed to Yah Whey for destruction. And when the Ney pauses to pray, the Lord's act of God's without delay.
See, the Neocons' daily enemies were getting overshadowed. The terror of alien fundies, the horror of weeds, the lie-brawl demon-c-rats... Too far away, too hippy, too pussy to be scary. Surely as K. B. Rooted for the Moolahs, a blood-thirsty enemy would emerge.
Yes: you have correctly guessed what happened next. Acting upon Che Ney's demand for havoc, the Lord smote New Orleans. The pretty whites and some other car-owners ran away, leaving behind poor mobs to be demonized.
They were left behind, but are they the victims ? Do they not deserve the same compassion we gave shell-shocked New Yorkers ? Not according to Supreme Dick's puppets. A clear picture of evil animals is painted. The mobs are nothing but gun-toting, drug-addicted rapists infected with diphteria. Did we mention that they are like animals and that they often carry venomous snakes in their pants ? Also, they are contaminated with deadly chemicals and are most likely radioactive. Oh, and their fathers smelt of elderberries !
However, as chief spokesman Bush proclaimed, FEMA cronies are doing all they can to keep the Red Cross out of the city. Were the mobs to be fed, they would become stronger, faster, and generally more vicious. They could then take over the city for their own nefarious and un-American purposes, while comfortably sitting in stolen Aerons and looking at their newly acquired plasma TVs. Only dehydration and caloric withdrawal can prevent this dreadful outcome.
Let disease spread, feed the reaper, then relocate the mobs to concentrated quarantination (!) camps... Could that be the plan ? Demonize them, and remind the country that in every ghetto rests a horde of animals. Their facade of civility is solely maintained by President Bush: the only Christian Choice.
Within days, the federal government will have operatives sitting in the back of SUVs, handing out duffel bags full of cold, hard cash to the selected corporate sponsors of reconstruction. Why bother with bidding for contracts when the oil flow has slowed ? And as those looting for survival are to be treated like insurgents, it is clear that the surviving Iraq-hardened american troops will have a chance to put their newfound skills to good use. Look: an insurgent; a looter ! Shoot on sight !
And that's when I woke up and realised that as evil as Che Ney may be, his God is smaller than my God, and could never conjure such a hurricane for political purposes. Surely, it must be the work of some foreign terrorist God.
And that's when I woke up and realised that I had just dreamed about waking up. So I went out and pinched myself repeatedly (and quite unfortunately, to no avail) as I filled up my gas tank, crying for my poor dollars. But at least I figure that the real world is nothing like my nightmare. Surely, American W.H. (p)resident Bush isn't keeping the black man down out of political considerations. Surely, he would have been just as incompetent and useless had it been 100,000 nubile women of prime child-bearing age trapped in New Orleans ?
And... Rove isn't going to be able to spin this in a way that makes Bush looks good, is he ???
