Flag Burning: Al Franken Style

Well, the House of Representatives has passed the flag burning amendment, and it's going to be a squeaker in the Senate.  

I suppose I could rant and rave about priorities, about missing the point, about how this is (ironically) the equivalent of "burning the village to save it," etc., but... I think Al Franken really said it best on this, with his essay re: amendments "we can all get behind"

(additions, anyone?)

From "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" (1996)

There was a time when Constitutional amendments did things like free whole races of people.  Or enfranchise an entire gender.  Now with the American flag-protection amendment it appears that we're really getting down to the short strokes.

So, as long as we're making amendments that create exceptions to the First Amendment, I though I'd offer up a few of my own.  Basically, they would ban certain acts, that, I think we can all agree, have been considered protected "speech" for far too long.

Amendment XXIX--makes it a federal offense to take a whiz on the Statue of Liberty.

Amendment XXX--allows states to punish anyone "hocking a logey" on a reproduction of the Declaration of Independence (should have been "allows states to prosecute an exotic dancer who picks up US currency with anything other than her hands").

Amendment XXXV--allows states to prosecute anyone making a jockstrap out of the US Constitution.