Lieberman "rushes" to have netroots declared "illegal drugs"

     (Courtesy of ABCD News)

     In a stunning move, Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut has declared that in the War on Drugs, the Bush Administration should investigate the sinister-sounding "netroots" to see if they are related to marijuana or other illegal herbs.
     "I stand with our leader in his noble attempt to defend our young people from addiction. These 'netroots' seem to be an addictive, orange-colored version of cannabis sativa, and this subversive menace to the purity of our bodily fluids must end now."

     Lieberman showed to the press a picture of a vaguely Latino-looking man in a dirty sweatshirt that seemed to say "KOSS"; the man was smoking an orange-looking sprig of an unknown plant. Lieberman pooh-poohed an unshaven man called "Dood" who yelled from the audience, "Hey, that's a Photoshop! I INVENTED Photoshop!"

     (more stunning revelations below)

     In other Lieberman campaign news, the new television ad "Back in Black" which portrays Ned Lamont as Afro-American "Lamont" from "Sanford and Son", with a voiceover saying "Would you let your daughter marry Ned Lamont?", will be released tomorrow morning.
     The ad would have been released today, but Lieberman was busy in Florida helping a friend known only as "Rush" who was apparently arrested on the way back from the Dominican Republic. Overheard by one reporter, Lieberman reportedly said to local customs police, "Come on, it's just drugs, it's not worth making war on the guy or anything."