from
http://www.IfGoreWerePresident.com ...
Presidential Advisor Executed for Treason After Revealing Undercover CIA Agent
(WASHINGTON, D.C.) -- Convicted by a tribunal of violating the Intelligence Identities Protection Act of 1982, Gore Administration special advisor Naomi Wolf was hanged today on the steps of the U.S. Capitol building.
Wolf revealed that columnist Robert Novak's wife was an active CIA agent during an appearance on "The Late Show with David Letterman" last month. Wolf, reading a humorous list entitled "Top Ten Things I Hate About Robert Novak," said "Number three: His wife is a CIA spook and he still makes her clean the toilets."
Wolf's Letterman-show appearance was in retribution for an attack in Novak's syndicated newspaper column criticizing Wolf as a "fluffy-haired feminist who's been rewriting the same book for the past fifteen years."
At the Gallows: Author Turned Specter of Death Ann Coulter
Deputized "America's Executioner" by a special act of Congress, author and pundit Ann Coulter manned the gallows for the hanging, standing on a giant-sized promotional mock-up of the cover of her book "Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terror," provided at no cost to the government by publisher Crown Forum.
"When will these liberals learn to shut their mouths and protect the identities of the CIA agents who keep us free and safe?" said Coulter in a shrill, reedy voice needlessly amplified by a bullhorn.
As the noose was tied around her neck, Wolf attempted to defend herself by pointing out that Mrs. Novak regularly hands out business cards reading, "Mrs. Robert Novak, CIA Operative," that Mrs. Novak's 1998 Buick Century has District of Columbia vanity license plates reading "CIA Gal," and that Mrs. Novak's personal webpage at MySpace.com features a prominent photograph of a "CIA" tattoo covering 75% of her left buttock.
"Treason!" shouted Coulter. "Imagine a world in which Presidential advisors felt free to reveal CIA agents to promote their own petty rivalries."
As Coulter prepared to activate the gallows, Wolf gasped the words "bottle-blonde knock-kneed whore," inciting Coulter to rush over to and kick and claw Wolf's bound body. Finally, after being pulled away with some difficulty by Capitol police, Coulter tripped the lever that caused the platform to retract. Coulter applauded with glee and jumped up and down as Wolf's body twitched and succumbed to death, shouting, "Die pinko bitch, die!"
Scope of Legislation Questioned
The hanging was authorized by Congressional passage of the Wolf Execution Act of 2005, which is being criticized for its confusing combination of specificity and vagueness.
The law calls for public hangings for persons named "Wolf" who are convicted of federal crimes. President Gore's veto was overridden by Congress, and attempts to have the legislation reviewed by the Supreme Court have been rebuffed.
At a news conference in Los Angeles, "Law and Order" producer Dick Wolf called the Wolf Execution Act "ill-advised and probably unconstitutional." His statement concluded with two staccato "plunk plunks."
CNN White House correspondent Wolf Blitzer called on Congress to amend the law to clearly state that it applies only to those with the last name of Wolf, not the first name. He was joined in this announcement by motion-picture director Wolfgang Peterson, who added that a "'wolf gang' is certainly quite different from a single wolf."
http://ifgorewerepresident.typepad.com/mfs/2005/08/presidential_ad.html
