I have been passively watching DKos off and on today, a Thursday, and I've felt so unispired, and well, numb... there is a definite feeling of angst, and anticipation as well.
I ask myself what's going on, is this just Thursday morning blahs...? I do an emotion check and, yep, still hate Bush, Rove, Cheney, Rice Rumsfeld, Ashcroft, Gonzales, and Gannon but... it's all foggier. The facts are just not at my fingertips anymore.
Also the edge to my emotions is leaving...and I don't want it to. I'm left thinking, is this some normal kind of rhythmic process that I should flow with, or is this a huge Red Flag?
My instincts tell me that maybe for mental health reasons we have to let these things go every now and then and just go to bed early, and heal a little. Honestly, though, I am still so ANGRY that I am typing through watery eyes at the way my country has been destroyed in four short years. I am scared right now that I am on the verge of forgetting many things, and I don't want to.
Today, the propaganda continues here at home and abroad with the new Cia-Iraqiay TV, 30 more people die in Iraq, Bush "Unites" Europe, more soldiers die, and our economy plunges further into disaster... I struggle to maintain outrage instead of... numbness. Is this me in need of rest, or the insidious results of calculated mind control?
The frightening thing as well is that in the words of Yogi Berra, "It's Deja Vu all over again" as we strike up the band to march against Syria and Iran.
How can one person cope with all of this... or, how can I possibly not... Bush reportedly guards his 9pm bedtime religiously, and I begin to understand why.
I guess that this is the true reason that we have a Blog or Diary, so that we don't forget as we heal. These are some of the things that I need to remember and continue to fight against:
1 My country is in the hands of criminals
2 My country now condones torture
3 My country started and continues a needless war for oil
4 My country is now hated by most of the world
5 My country does not care for the least of it's citizens
With any luck, the numbness will pass, and I will return rejuvenated to address my list... feel free to add to it if you like...