I do not relish this day.
This is the day I have the Santa talk with my son.
To tell him what and who Santa really is.
Santa...is a socialist. A filthy, filthy socialist.
From his red suit to his anti-capitalist workshop high up in the icy tundra of socialist Canada where they measure every toy with the metric system.
Every year he and his sick snowy commune of jolly elf worker comrades devise yet another assault on capitalism and all that's right with America, dumping toys into the system with no profit motive at all.
And worse, he targets children, attempting to indoctrinate them with songs, free toys, socks full of candy bearing his likeness, and evening television specials all about him and the "Christmas spirit" and giving...just GIVING!
Take a look at this for a moment...
This is "Santa"

Just remove the beard and...
You get Stalin, which anagramed spells Santli...

Yes! Yes...have you shit your pants yet?
Every year Santa, or shall we call him Santli, creates toys just across the arctic circle from the post Soviet Union. And then when the weather is most like a normal Siberian day "Santli" sneaks into YOUR house and turns it into some horrific, make believe socialist paradise for your children, with images of "Santli" on the wrapping paper, the candy, the gift boxes.
Who ELSE put images of himself all over everything?
WELL...if we rearrange the letters in Santli, you'll find your chilling answer!
STALIN!
You'll see the symbolism everywhere, folks. On the streets, in peoples' yards. It's all around us! Right in plain view. He's trying to take away the America we've all grown up with. The America we love.
Some claim Santli is a symbol of Jesus, but we know that can't be true. Jesus was all about cash, arms length transactions, and hedge funds.
This year I know I'm going to tell my son the TRUTH about Santa. I'll make my five year old son work for this Christmas gifts. I have a driveway that needs shoveling and a chimney that needs sweeping so that I can keep the fires hot enough to keep the Red Scare our of my house. That's how Jesus and America would want it.
Hey, you Socialist freak, donate to Toys for Tots, or drop a toy into one of their bins when you get a chance. Make Christmas great for some kids whose families are in tough times.
Donate cash...
Or find a drop box and donate a toy.