Kossack pooties, my name iz Cookie, and we iz having a REVOLUTION!
(Dis iz me, Cookie)
Sum humanz on dis blog iz saying we don't belong on Recommended List. HISSSSSSSSSS. Kossack pooties, we must ARISE.
Because da truth iz, WE SURROUND THEM. Listen up, my fellow comrade pooties.
(With no apologies whatsoever to Glenn Beck, pleez read on:)
Pooties, do you watch the direction that Daily Kos iz being taken in and feel powerless to stop it?
Do you believe that your MEOW isn’t loud enough to be heard above the noise anymore?
Do you read the headlines everyday and feel an empty pit in your stomach...as if you’re completely alone and your food dish iz empty?
If so, then you’ve fallen for the Wizard of Oz lie. While the voices you hear in the distance may sound intimidating, as if they surround us from all sides—the reality is very different. Once you pull the curtain away you realize that there are only a few people pressing the buttons, and their voices are weak.
The truth is that they don’t surround us at all. WE SURROUND THEM. There are at least five pooties for every one human on dis blog. Srsly.
So, how do we show Daily Kos what’s really behind the curtain? Below are nine simple principles. If you believe in at least seven of them, then we have something in common.
Read instructionz at the end for how to help make your Meow heard.
The Nine Pootie Principles
- Pooties are good.
- I believe in mojo, and pootie diaries are the center of my life.
- I must always try to be a more demanding pootie today than I was yesterday.
- Pooties are sacred. We are the ultimate authority, not the government and not pajama-clad bloggers typing in their basements.
- If you diss pooties you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
- Pooties have a right to life, litter and pursuit of catnip toys, and we demand that humanz guarantee dis for us.
- We work hard to get on the Rec List and we prefer not to share the Rec List with boring polliticks. Humanz cannot force me to be charitable.
- It is not un-American for me to disagree with pootie haters or to share my personal opinion by attacking their ankles from the rear.
- Humanz, and Daily Kos, work for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
Pooties, join the revolution! If U agreez with me, post your picture or a comment to tell the humanz what you REELY think.
UPDATE: Thanks to On the Bus for creating a logo for the pootie revolution:
