In recent years, much has been made of the decline of the United States. The dollar is no longer the most valuable currency in the world; our auto companies eat the dust of Toyota and BMW; our jobs are being sent overseas as China begins to catch up to us in the race to be the most important economy in the world.
Our seemingly rapid demise as a superpower has been further amplified by our foreign policy. The War in Iraq seems to have triggered a relapse into Vietnam Syndrome, and we find ourselves unable to do all we wish to in the world. In almost every area imaginable, American prestige has declined in the last decade or so. Except one: vote fraud.
Seeing the Iranians so massively bungle what could have been an easy vote-rigging, I can't help but feel a certain sense of pride. There's no way that an American despot wouldn't have done a better job.
Consider the facts:
- The Iranian election thieves gave Mahmoud Ahmadinejad 62% of the vote, 11% more than he needed. That's just wasteful. As Jack Kennedy once quoted his father as saying, "don't buy one more vote than is necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to buy a landslide."
- Ahmadinejad received received fairly equal votes across the nation, not in any way, shape, or form accounting for regional disparities. That's just amateur.
- Mehdi Karoubi, a third-party candidate, received less than one percent of the vote, despite evidence of far greater support. Weak! As we've shown in Florida, third-parties' totals are to be inflated, not depressed!
- All in all, the public-relations end of this has been thoroughly blown. Media spin is the most important part of winning an election you actually lost. Ahmadinejad has to have a cousin at some major media outlet, right?
All this shows a casual disregard for quality vote-rigging. As my grandpappy always said, "an election worth stealing is an election worth stealing right." That's the kind of American tradition that makes my eyes water.
In fact, just thinking about the great vote-riggers of American history--your Tammany Halls, your Mayor Daleys, your George Bushes--well, I just get filled with patriotism. Say what you will about this country, but we can rig an election better than anyone.
