In a rambling disaster that will rank with Richard Nixon’s infamous, "think what you’ll be missing, you won’t have Nixon to kick around, anymore,"

Governor Kooky resigned from office, halfway though her only term, citing the crushing national media, the Stimulus, and a photoshop cartoon created by a blogger (Nice work, fellas!).




*
UPDATE: 7:00 EASTERN
Noted Alaskan blogger and radio host Shannyn Moore just said on MSNBC that unconfirmed reports indicate Palin is under a criminal probe. Here's the clip -- runs 3:17.
HOLY SHIT
*
ALSO
John Weaver, John McCain's campaign manager from the 2000 campaign and his first campaign manager from the 2008 campaign, just said:
"We've seen a lot of nutty behavior from governors and Republican leaders in the last three months, but this one is at the top of that."
Source
*
Earlier
► Palin cited three reasons for her resignation:
- She couldn't bear to govern while those "wasteful" Washington dollars are foisted upon her.
- The crushing scrutiny of the national media, comparing herself to a basketball player passing the ball because of the oppressive "full court press".
- A recent photoshop cartoon that poked fun of her symbiotic political relationship with a local wingnut radio jock, superimposing his image over her son’s face. She took that not as a critique of the hate-radio nut, but rather as an attack on her son. What horse shit.

THIS is the cartoon.
► Here is Palin's flipped out attack:
Recently we learned of a malicious desecration of a photo of the Governor and baby Trig that has become an iconic representation of a mother's love for a special needs child.
The mere idea of someone doctoring the photo of a special needs baby is appalling. To learn that two Alaskans did it is absolutely sickening. Linda Kellen Biegel, the official Democrat Party blogger for Alaska, should be ashamed of herself and the Democratic National Committee should be ashamed for promoting this website and encouraging this atrocious behavior.
Babies and children are off limits. It is past time to restore decency in politics and real tolerance for all Americans. The Obama Administration sets the moral compass for its party. We ask that special needs children be loved, respected and accepted and that this type of degeneracy be condemned.
► And here is blogger Celtic Diva's, response:
"It's called 'Baby Burke' because it's Eddie Burke (a talker on KBYR who is a fervent Palin backer)...basically his probable second-biggest fantasy about the Governor."
"So, connecting the dots for you (Governor Palin)...WE'RE MAKING FUN OF EDDIE BURKE!!!!!!"
Her speech was made at a super rapid pace, almost like an old FEDEX commercial. I suspect she wanted to unlock the talking points from her head, before they died of loneliness.
As a result, she babbled on, repeated various talking points over and over, along with numerous well worn platitudes, in her patented gibberish syntax (as seen in the following actual quote):
"Really, we have to put first things, first. And, first things first, as Governor..."
► She used her kids as props and invoked God a bunch of times. Oh, brother.
► She ended by mocking climate change. Wingnut, global warming denier to the bitter end.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

► Yup, yup. This is a real unretouched photo of Governor Goofball bending over to touch her toes, and ALSO, to show off some boob-age.
This is exactly how Golda Meir and Ann Richards got their start.
What’s next -- a photo of her licking a dripping wet popsicle?
Dream Ticket: Palin/Geraldo ‘12
UPDATE: 4:45 EASTERN
At the end, Palin screwed up a quote she attributed to General MacArthur:
"take the words of General MacArthur, he said, 'We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction.'"
Ummm, if you simply checked teh google you would have discovered that Douglas MacArthur NEVER said that. Rather, it was said by a different general -- Oliver Smith.


UPDATE: 5:00 EASTERN
I just received a note from a top MSNBC political producer saying, Palin told her backer, mega GOP powerbroker, Fred Malek, off the record, that she's not running in 2012 (I imagine this was one of Andrea Mitchell's sources).
Stick a fork in her, she's done.
When the going gets tough....
I'm just speculating, here, but I wonder if Romney's private investigators uncovered a doozy of a skeleton, in her closet.
P.S. THIS IS GREAT NEWS FOR MICHAEL JACKSON!
*