For the benefit of those who have apparently just returned from their Martian Vacations, Myspace is a social networking site. It basically works like hotmail with a personal webpage you can really screw up big time with a little Geocities-esque editing. Members can post pictures, blogs, bulletin and of course comment on each others pages/blogs/images.
Its a great way to stay in touch with your friends, make some new ones, or maybe find and contact people you used to enjoy spending time with but not really enough to make the effort to stay in touch in the first place. Yes Myspace has grown so popular that it recently overtook Google as the most visited website on the net. It also broke 2 world records for "Most useless piece of shit" and of course "Most error messages in a 5 minute period." okay so I lied about that last part. But if those were actual records to break Myspace would definitely do it.
But I digress. This diary is not aimed at the fact that a powerhouse website like Myspace apparently cannot afford a decent bank of servers. No this diary is about the clueless morons who inhabit the place. I, of course am one of them. You can visit my profile and heck even add me as a friend by clicking Here
Recently I read a bulletin (which for you Mars frequenters is like an e-mail that goes to everyone on your list) posted by a girl I know who lives in Arizona. This bulletin was a petition to "Tom" the co-creator of Myspace to remove a Myspace group called "Fuck the Troops" Myspace has groups? You ask. Yes, yes they do. Again for you cave dwellers out there, Myspace groups are very much like Egroups.com used to be before Yahoo bought them up.
Now before I go any further I want to stress that I do not want to fuck the troops. Except maybe the really hot female soldiers who despite the rugged conditions of battle still look absolutely gorgeous... Sorry I got a little sidetracked there. Too much G.I. Jill. I know you're thinking I mean G.I. Jane. But no that's the non-porno Demi Moore film. I'm thinking of G.I. Jill the hardcore Porn staring Jenna Jameson and Brianna Banks. Its an explosion of erotic passion. Two Dongs Up.
Now back to the subject at hand. I don't want to fuck the troops in the way this supposed group wanted too. In my view the troops are getting fucked every day. Not by some kid who posted a "Fuck the Troops" group to draw attention to himself and get some laughs. But by old men in Washington who sent them to war and now refuse to make reality based decisions. Joe Lieberman I'm looking at you!
I greatly appreciate our men and woman in uniform. While I have never served myself, my family is actually very involved in the military. My Uncle died in the first gulf war. My Grandpa on my moms side died in Vietnam, my Grandpa on my Dads side died in WWII. And my cousin who I hardly saw growing up died in Iraq this last February. I respect those who serve so I don't have too.
But as this story proves not all threats to our freedom come from abroad. In fact more often than not they come from within. Iraq for instance was not a threat to our freedom at all. No WMD, no way to attack us, etc. But mass ignorance when it comes to the rights our soldiers fight to protect is in fact a very large threat. And this was one small and insignificant threat that I intended to poke fun at.
After reading the bulletin I did a search for this so-called "Fuck the Troops" Myspace group. Well surprise surprise there was no such group by that name. There were however about 50 billion "Fuck the Fuck the Troops Group" groups. Yes that's right, groups created by people who read the petition and decided to create an anti-troop fucker group called "Fuck the 'Fuck The Troops Group'"
Now one of the dirty little secrets every Myspace member knows is that Myspace groups is the second least used feature of Myspace.com. The first of course being the Myspace Classifieds. NOBODY uses that thing. And hardly anyone reads Myspace Groups. Hell nobody even joins a Myspace group when they're sent a request.
In fact instead of joining the first anti-troop fucker group that was created each and every one of these pissed off people created their own version of the exact same thing. In fact the only groups I have on my profile are the ones I so stupidly accepted invites too during my early days on Myspace.
So after seeing all of these "Fuck the Fuck The Troops Group" Myspace groups I being the smart ass I am immediately created a group called- and yes this is the actual name:
Fuck the "Fuck the "Fuck the "Fuck the "Fuck the "Fuck the Troops" groups!
Go ahead click it you'll read a description that clearly states its a satire and not meant to be taken seriously. It is meant as a joke. Poking fun at people who make groups for everything and how stupid of a name "Fuck the Fuck the Troops Group" is. I mean c'mon now. My thinking was people would search for "Fuck the Troops" just as I did, see all of the "Fuck the Fuck the Troops" groups and then see mine and have a big laugh! And anyone who got the wrong idea would quickly understand the humor after reading the groups description.
Yet the very next morning I awoke to find a whole bunch of messages in my inbox from people who either cannot detect satire or perhaps cannot read and for some reason thought I wanted to fuck the troops. Not G.I. Jill mind you, but the actual troops! Needless to say I had fun calling each and every one of them stupid in my respectful but yes condescending replies.
That was enough for the vast majority of people who sent me messages telling me to fuck off and as one writer put it "go back to communism" which I'm guessing he believed is a country of some sort. But there's always that one person who is so convinced they are right that they won't except "You're stupid" as an answer and this one individual challenged me to defend why anyone should be allowed to say "Fuck the Troops" especially when I do not feel that way myself.
I find it ironic that people who are supposedly so patriotic have absolutely no idea exactly how important and beautiful the first amendment is. The issue of Myspace censorship isn't really here nor there. In fact there really is no debate because there is no freedom of speech on private web servers. None. In fact you lose a lot of your freedoms whenever you step foot on private property. Your neighbor can rightfully kick you out of their house if you say something they disagree with. Stores can refuse to accept your business and even have you removed for no reason.
Just like news papers aren't required to print your letter to the editor and DailyKos isn't required to print this Diary. There is no freedom of speech on private property be it a store, a house, or a web server. So this was not about whether I could convince Myspace from deleting a group, particularly one that doesn't really exist. Its about educating people who lack an understanding and respect for our rights as citizens. It was about convincing those who believe we should censor opposing views.
Just as our soldiers fight to protect our freedom of speech abroad I feel it is my duty to protect it from attacks at home. The day we stop standing up for our freedom of speech every single time it is challenged is the day we lose it.
During the discussion I had with this young man I walked him through the following logic. Seeing as the entire debate was hypothetical to begin with, I had no problem getting him to go along with the more hypothetical segments of this particular argument.
First I told him about my cousin who died in February. And I told him I hated the man who shot him and I asked him if I was wrong to do so. He agreed that I wasn't. I then told him my cousin was an awesome soldier and had killed his fair share of Iraqi insurgents during his two tours of duty.
I asked him, if all things are relative and its just a matter of perspective, is it safe to say a family member of one of those Iraqis would hate my Cousin just as much as I hate the man who killed him? He agreed that was very possible and that from their point of view the hatred would be justified.
I then explained to him that there are people in this country who believe the lives of Iraqi woman and children who have died because of this war are just as important as the lives of our fighting men and woman and that killing them is wrong. And because they sympathize with the victims they tend to lash out at those who killed them. From here I sited various examples of cruelty inflicted by US Forces since the start of the war. Including the various instances of torture and humiliation. Encouraged by the Whitehouse.
On a personal note I know 5 woman who were all raped by Marines. One was beaten and left for dead on the side of the road. But I didn't mention any of that in my e-mail. I basically made the point that while I wasn't among them I can understand why some people would view the troops in a less than positive light. He came back with a very stupid question. That being "How can you defend the expression of that hatred?" and I told him.
Logical people understand there are extremists on both sides of every issue and people who speak without thinking first. We even understand there are those who have horrible hateful opinions and beliefs like Racism and Homophobia that nobody with half a heart could support. But no matter how unpopular those opinions may be we understand it shouldn't be against the law to express them.
If the mouth-breathing, redneck, KKK members want to say "Fuck the Niggers" when they have their Nascar house parties and fondle their sister who is also their mother-in-laws breasts they can go right ahead. Because the beauty of freedom of speech is that we all have the right to call them morons and ridicule their sad, simplistic minds.
We have the right to criticize someone for their backwards views and attempt to convince those who are lost among us that censorship is wrong and freedom of speech is good. Its important to remember that the insane ramblings of extremists are just as few and far between as the immoral behaviors like those involved in the Abu Ghraib scandal. You cannot draw lines when it comes to freedom of speech. Its one of the few things in life that really is either/or. Silencing one faction suppresses us all. It imposes a limit on what we can and cannot say and thus what we can and cannot think.
Because of that no group is above the rights afforded to us by our Constitution and our Bill of Rights. Not even those who put their lives on the line to protect it. They are after all just words. The end result of air travelling out of ones lungs, through ones vocal chords and passed ones lips. The verbalisation of thought. Which unfortunately for some people is the oral equivalent of a fart.
But words by themselves cannot hurt you. The Troops aren't crying over the fact that some kid made a Myspace group. And if they are they should really consider a career change because over emotional little girls do not make it far in the military.
Hot and sexy bimbos in camouflage thongs however, do.
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