There are few things that powerful men can agree on more readily than the oligarchical notion that their erections should be expensed to everyone else's dime. Why else would Viagra have been so quickly covered as a medical expense, even while birth control pills were not?
But can I just ask something, real quick? Won't take but a moment.
Is there any Republican politician out there who just has normal, run of the mill sexual relationships? Anyone at all?
No gay airport bathroom propositions, no asking underaged congressional pages to email you their penis size, no secret visits to prostitutes in multiple states? No divorcing your cancer-stricken, hospitalized wife in order to better carry on an affair with someone else? No weird sex trysts overlooking the smoldering ruins of New York's ground zero, or billing your secret mayoral booty calls to the budgets of city agencies tasked with helping poor people? No meth-addicted gay sex while preaching about the horrors of gay sex? No calling your coworkers at night while masturbating, telling them how much you'd like to falafel them up in the shower? No shoving pictures of fetuses in people's faces, or taking their own daughters into "chastity vows", or pontificating about the dangers of man-on-dog relationships?
Seriously, is this why Republicans are always so obsessed with governing everybody else's sex life -- because it's simply inconceivable to them that any two people would have a healthy, non-messed-up relationship?
Forget politics -- these people are apparently in serious need of an intervention. How much of American policy over the last six years have revolved around these people's apparently obsessive attempts at weirder and weirder sex obsessions? Are we going to find out that Bush invaded Iraq to impress Condi? That Republicans have been funneling SCHIP money into secret all-goat bordellos in Mississippi? What could possibly, at this point, be next?
Fine, so Saint Rudy was having an affair. Not an unheard of concept. What on earth would make someone bill the expenses related to that secret affair to the city of New York? Did he think his penis was declared a city landmark? Did he think that his sexual exploits made the subways run on time? Was it somehow titillating for Rudy Giuliani to hide expenses for his sex romps to city agencies charged with helping the disabled? Did it make it more sexually satisfying for him to know that his Hamptons-based Republican affair was being paid for by agencies to help the indigent? Is this how Republicans make their sex "fun" -- to attach a monetary price to it, and then screw as many other people as possible in the process?
Or is this just a perfectly normal case of a crook being a crook, and doing what a crook does -- squeezing for every dime and dodge and cheat, just for the sake of the thing? Is Rudy simply so damn corrupt that to him, his now-indicted friend Bernard Kerik really did seem like a great fellow?
Never mind Rudy running for President. The question I have is this: are there any Republicans left who have relationships that are not, in some manner or another, crooked and depraved?
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