What started as House Speaker Paul Ryan trying to strong-arm a top-secret Obamacare replacement plan through Congress in the next three weeks has turned into a total and complete clusterfuck. This is just indescribably ridiculous. If you remember, the secret draft plan was supposed to be locked in a secret room where only House Republicans on the health subcommittee were allowed to see it. It was being treated like the most sensitive national security intelligence document ever.
Until Democrats on the Ways and Means Committee found the room, which was being guarded—I am not kidding—by Capitol Hill Police. That galvanized Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), who had been on a lengthy tweeting tirade against Ryan's tactic, into action:
When he got there, the drama intensified—he was denied entry! Paul holds an impromptu press conference because of course the press flocked to the secret room to see the action. But wait! The bill isn't there! Even Republicans who are allowed into the room aren't able to find it.
As of press time, the Republican plan is on the lam and no one knows exactly what’s in it, or why it has to be classified.
But some of us suspect it might be their elusive plan from 2009.