Equality for Me But Not for Thee?
I was happy to see that the snot-nosed jerk who made monkey sounds at a Black University of Mississippi student during a protest rally—a scene that went viral last week—was identified and is being dealt with. But if you saw the footage you could tell that a bunch of his pals were made of the same racist stuff. Every one of ‘em should be forced to sit in a room and watch this thought experiment, courtesy of anti-racism advocate Jane Elliott, still very much with us at 90. It puts things in perspective mighty quick:
Either we know we have a serious racism problem in the United States, or Jane the merry prankster put super glue on everyone’s seat. I’ll let you figure out which.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 7, 2024
Note: Tonight on the National Geographic Channel, don’t miss footage of the elusive chainsaw-billed cockatoo, caught on camera for the first time after accidentally flying into the Yonkers home of Gladys Higginbotham during her weekly bridge game with husband Gary and neighbors Bruce and Thelma. Viewer discretion is advised. Like, a lot of viewer discretion.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Victoria Day in Canada: 13
Days 'til the Mesick Mushroom Festival in Michigan: 3
Current U.S. unemployment rate: 3.9%
Factor by which the IRS plans to increase audits on large corporations with assets of more than $250 million this tax cycle: 3x
Average price of gas in the U.S., down a couple cents from last year at this time: $3.77
Number of attendees at Madonna's free concert in Rio over the weekend: 1.6 million
Days Shug the zebra was on the run in Washington state before being captured after robbing several banks and a 7-11: 6
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Fickle consumer…
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CHEERS to another day at the judicial dog track. The election-interference trial of 45th president Donald J. Trump continued yesterday in New York, and I can tell you this much: Trump fell asleep again…and farted again (and again and again)…and Judge Merchan fined him for violating his gag order again…and threatened to throw him in jail if he violates it again…and witnesses gave the prosecution lots of evidence with which to prove their case again…and they broke for lunch again…and Trump's lawyers were hapless and outgunned again…and then they adjourned and went home again…and my predictions turned out to be 100-percent accurate again. Meanwhile, out in the back alley Nate Silver weeps as he begins a day of dumpster diving. Again.
JEERS to Great Moments in Irony. Did you hear that South Dakota Governor and advocate for Texas dentists (long story) Kristi Noem of the MAGA cult wrote a book? It's true, I tell you! And, boy, what a swell title: No Going Back. Take it from her, kids, once you do something or say something or even write something, you cannot go back. It’s a sign of WEAKNESS! Instead you must charge forward as if nothing happened, and that'll make you unstoppable, by golly. So when Kristi Noem claims in No Going Back that she brought North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un to his knees with her Freedom Rhetoric, and it turns out to have not happened, a real leader leaves the error in and all y'alls can go pound sand. Right, Kristi with the million-dollar smile?
Noem's spokesperson seemed to confirm to Politico and other news outlets that the story is not accurate and that the book will be corrected to remove it.
Yes. She's going back. Thus explaining why her new book just changed categories on Amazon.com from "Books" to "Doorstops."
JEERS to incorrigible dirigibles. The Goodyear blimp "Hindenburg" caught fire and crashed 87 years ago this week—back yonder in 1937—in Lakehurst, New Jersey. Herb Morrison's anguished live broadcast is as riveting now as it was then. Sadly a similar tragedy occurred several years later during the Thanksgiving Day Turkey Drop over Cincinnati. Oh the humanity, indeed.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to a heckuva deal. 398 years ago this week, in 1626, Manhattan was purchased from Native Americans for around $24 in beads, trinkets and wampum. Or in today's terms: A medium espresso. Or funding for 1/1000th of a second at a private college. Or the amount of money Republicans would like to put into alternative energy. Or George Santos’s current Cameo fee. Or... Well, let's just say somewhat cheap.
JEERS to an unexpected day on terra firma. By now you may have heard that the liftoff of the Boeing Starliner with two astronauts headed for the Space Station had to be scrubbed last night. Unfortunately—and I really hate to break this to ya, America—it means we have to start the space program all over again and work our way back to 2024. So take it away, Alan Shepard...
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Suit up, Grissom. You’re next.
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 7, 2014
JEERS to the fudgiest fudgers in Fudgeland. This was not a case of voter fraud. It was a case of vote counting fraud. I'm talking about that "landslide" vote to give Crimea back to Russia—what a sham:
The website of the “President of Russia’s Council on Civil Society and Human Rights” posted a blog that was quickly taken down as if it were toxic radioactive waste. According to the Council’s report about the March referendum to annex Crimea, the turnout was a maximum 30%. And of these, only half voted for annexation—meaning only 15 percent of Crimean citizens voted for annexation. […]
To make sure no one misses this:
Official Kremlin results: 97% for annexation, turnout 83 percent, and percent of Crimeans voting in favor 82%.
President’s Human Rights Council results: 50% for annexation, turnout 30%, percent of Crimeans voting in favor 15%.
Meanwhile Karl Rove, armed with his own math, called Crimea for Mitt Romney.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to masters of the quill and the inquisitive mind. The 2024 Pulitzer Prizes were announced yesterday. You can see the whole list here, and it’s a good one. Some highlights:
National Reporting: Reuters for an eye-opening series of accountability stories focused on Elon Musk’s automobile and aerospace businesses, stories that displayed remarkable breadth and depth and provoked official probes of his companies’ practices in Europe and the United States.
and The Washington Post for its sobering examination of the AR-15 semi-automatic rifle, which forced readers to reckon with the horrors wrought by the weapon often used for mass shootings in America.
Investigative Reporting: Hannah Dreier of The New York Times for a deeply reported series of stories revealing the stunning reach of migrant child labor across the United States—and the corporate and governmental failures that perpetuate it.
Public Service: Pro Publica for groundbreaking and ambitious reporting that pierced the thick wall of secrecy surrounding the Supreme Court to reveal how a small group of politically influential billionaires wooed justices with lavish gifts and travel, pushing the Court to adopt its first code of conduct.
The top prize in fiction went to Night Watch by Jayne Anne Phillips. She barely edged out I Won the 2020 Election, Believe Me by Donald Trump, and Harlan Crow Has No Influence On My Judicial Decisions, Believe Me by Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. C&J got recognition, too—our restraining order was renewed for another year. Message: they care.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"Cheers and Jeers really is the most important kiddie pool of our time."
—Jonathan Karl
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