A San Francisco man of the late nineteenth century discovered he had a rare inability to feel physical pain. Discerning a surefire moneymaking opportunity, he became a street performer known as "Oofty Goofty." Oofty walked around the city with a baseball bat in hand, loudly inviting anyone to kick him for a nickel, hit him with a cane for fifteen cents, or beat him with the bat for a quarter.
Apparently Oofty Goofty found his way to a time machine. We now know him as John Boehner. Most of the press of the last two days has been devoted to the hash Boehner made of the budget deal, but let's consider for a moment a possible method to the madness. John Boehner used his inability to feel pain (or shame) to great advantage.
How else was Speaker Boehner to play this disaster? He may not be the sharpest of leaders, but he does know a losing hand when he sees one. When the Senate presented him with a proposal that was a fait accompli not open to discussion, he could not very well take it to his caucus for an immediate vote. The Tea Party folks would have deposed him on the spot. Although it might be hard for us to understand, Oofty Goofty wants to keep his job.
The defunders had worked themselves into too great a lather for immediate and complete surrender. Sensing this, Boehner presented his own proposal, which he must have known was going nowhere, considering the fever dreams of the true believers. Predictably the mad dog frenzy of attempted substitution of more draconian proposals began right away in the House. (I believe that Boehner had a fairly good idea that the yahoos of his caucus couldn't come up with an alternative proposal in the space of a lifetime, much less by sundown.)
Boehner let his rabid dogs snarl, howl, and froth at the mouth until they predictably exhausted themselves in short order. The very next day they voted 'no' but otherwise caused little mischief in allowing passage of the Senate bill precisely as written. In the end, they took bites out of each other rather than President Obama and the ACA. The stunned whimpering still echoes across the land as they lick their self-inflicted wounds.
Resigned to his fate, Speaker Boehner handed the bats out to the press and let them have at. Being at the wrong end of a baseball swing can't be much fun, but, luckily for him, he probably doesn't feel a thing. Boehner has long lived with humiliation as his constant companion. This is simply the biggest bat he has faced so far. In return, Speaker Oofty Goofty will keep his job for the foreseeable future. His mad dogs are even eating out of his hand. It's not an easy way to make a living, of course, but at least he can drink on the job--which explains that lack of pain.
