The Hon. George W. Bush
White House
Washington, DC
Dear Mr. President,
I write to submit my name, or at least anonymous blog handle, for your consideration for the position of White House Press Secretary. My qualifications for this position are impeccable. I am familiar with the phrase "9-11 changed everything," and am able to raise it frequently and at often surprising times. I have been extensively practicing using "Saddam Hussein" and the phrase "9-11" in the same sentence, without definitively stating whether there is a relationship. On the 347 occasions that I was able to do this over Easter weekend, I threw up in my mouth less than thrice.
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