Turning Gay in the Grave

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Thursday July 18, 2013 · 12:49 PM PDT

2013/07/18 · 12:49

Catherine Idalette Johnston, deceased mother of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church’s (“WBC”) founder, Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps, was officially “turned gay” on July 14 after the New York-based Satanic Temple performed two “Pink Masses” over her grave.

Much in the same way that Mormons perform posthumous baptisms, believing that they “give the deceased, who exist in the afterlife as conscious spirits, a final chance to join the Mormon fold, and thus gain access to the Celestial Kingdom,” the Satanic Temple’s Pink Mass gives one’s dearly departed a chance to, for eternity, play for the other team.

According to Satanic Temple spokesperson and Pink Mass officiant, Lucien Greaves:

"The idea for the Pink Mass ceremony and website came during the aftermath of the tragic Boston Marathon bombings, during which time the WBC were threatening to protest the funerals of the bombing victims. Members of The Satanic Temple were in Boston, waiting for them, but they failed to show. Later, the WBC issued a statement that they had been present ‘in spirit’. We decided that a same-sex couple celebrating ceremony at the grave-site of Fred Phelps’s mother was an appropriate way to meet the Westboro Baptists, ‘in spirit’, but this time on our terms.”

Elfortes

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Sunday July 07, 2013 · 7:44 PM PDT

2013/07/07 · 19:44

“As addictive as crack cocaine,” anti-pornography Baptist preacher Jay Dennis of the First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Florida re-launched his One Million Men campaign this past week at the Southern Baptist Convention's annual meeting in Houston with the goal to get at least one million men to live a porn-free life.

Pastor Dennis was inspired by his staff’s concerns about pornography in the church: wives who’d caught their husbands, moms worried about their sons. And so he pumped out a website, “Join 1 Million Men” where men can pledge to live porn free by getting “on The Wall”, and encouraging other men to do the same. These men admit that they’re powerless over porn and through God’s power, also choose daily to:

- Surrender to the Holy Spirit
- Confess Sinful Thoughts Immediately
- Replace Sinful Thoughts with God’s Word
- Choose Specific Men to be Accountable To

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Turning Gay in the Grave

Pornography: the New Bubonic Plague