Tuesday, March 24, 2015….. The rains have come tonight. One can hear the shish of the cars on the wet street amid the radio cello of Rostropovich. I am donning my armour for another night of gasses and beams of heat and pressures to my head, neck and back. It is almost 10:00 pm. The rain is so welcome and the cello is so beautiful; three notes higher and higher, ecstatic. I tie a metal plate wrapped in a pillow case, then a dishtowel, around my neck to cover my upper back and neck, then a large napkin with foil around my head and tied on the back of my neck. Burning heat is applied to my neck and back to shrink my spinal cord to cut off the fluid. Mental institution, death, cremation. No one will know.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015 ….ON FALLING DOWN
'People have studied hundreds of hours on how to make someone fall down so as to get the desired effect, bump their head, break their leg, whatever..' Dr. Psychiatrist Robert Duncan (Walker maybe) Wallace, 1969.
1949, Spokane, Washington. I am 8 or 9 years old. It is a Saturday and I am listening to a singing contest on the radio. Some wonderful German tenor has won. I go outside and a man comes up to me. 'You like to listen to the singing don't you?' he says. 'Who won the contest?' he asks. 'I don't remember his name' I said. 'Well,' he says, let's pretend we are writing a mystery story and a man gets killed. How do you think they might get killed?' he asks. . The man asks me again and I say 'He slips and falls down' (or did I say he falls down the stairs? I can't remember. -- A few years ago I heard on the radio about a famous German tenor who slipped, fell down and died. Or was it Use Bering ? Don't know how to spell......not sure but I heard that it happened.
Such is the nature of evil. If something can be done, slowly turn a woman into an idiot that has to be institutionalized in a way that no doctor can detect, no one will notice. Use chemicals, drones. Hijack her body, control her heart rate, use implants to store chemicals in her nose and throat to release later to affect her mentally and dry her spinal cord. If something can be done no matter how evil, someone or some many, will be willing to do it, .
Recent falls: Rev. who I first turned to for help, fell and hurt his head. He ended up in the hospital. Here I think he was drugged and shown some horrible denigrating picture of me. He looked at me in church at the Funeral of the Junior Warden, and I saw the horror cross his face as if he thought the image may have come out of his own mind. I've not seen him at church since. I fear he blames his own self for that image. I suppose/know the guys that thought this one up think it was very funny, a good way to get a pastor. And he is a pastor whose best friend was manipulated into suicide. Another Rev. who might have helped me fell in Paris. At first the idea was to break a leg so as the person could not return. These soothsayer Nazi and Nazi trained Doctors and Psychiatrists do evil medicine. They plan out your life, they ask you all these questions and have you say what you want. Then they set it all up, put everyone in place, and insert people they are sure they can manipulate or control.
……………………………………………………………..
Sept. 1, 2015 Late eve….. Sometimes I enjoy thinking about how he who is doing this, might be having help problems. After all, I have stalled him every way I can think of, moving around as often as I am awake enough to do so, always looking for a way to cut the chemicals, avoid the fumes. He said all he had to do was tell graduate students they are helping me by following the little dot on their computers with their little dot. or maybe they are told nothing at all. But they may be tiring soon, asking questions, wanting time off. He will have to hire replacements to follow the little dot..not knowing they are burning my head with some kind of beam. Sometimes it feels like there is an amature. He may just have to put me to sleep when someone doesn't show. He may be tiring himself. His three little round 2 inch drones with their little curved lights need someone to manipulate them to do all the things they do, stuffing my nose with chemicals, shooting some awful smelling ingredient into David's bread, killing my flowers, installing another implant in one or another of my joints. Once I swung at one of them and it crashed into one of my tin plates and they have been less visible since. I try to plot how to catch them.
Sept. 3rd, 2015….. I must be more considerate of others, stop interrupting and remember, most people are comfortable with their thoughts and don't want to think otherwise. I must be kinder and quieter.
Sept. 4, 2015……. Felt slow and groggy all day, as if the chemicals have entered all the cells of my body. I have a little energy in the morning, then I want to nap. How can I think what to do? I am breathing stuff coming out of the sinks, vents, cupboards, ……..
