GUS: Give Me a Break!

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday October 12, 2016 · 3:12 PM PDT

2016/10/12 · 15:12

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

Take Five

One of the biggest adjustments I had to make when I quit smoking involved what I liked to think of as “break time” — both the built-in formal breaks you need to take as a smoker (over and over, all day, every day), and the informal, take-me-away-from-this-craziness break time that stepping away for a smoke provides.

As a smoker, taking a smoke break is generally your go-to coping strategy for a host of situations and circumstances. It’s your first, best coping strategy. It’s the reliable “old faithful” excuse you haul out for all kinds of scenarios. “Taking a break” is the Swiss Army Knife of reasons for ditching present company or delaying something or celebrating something or avoiding something. It had “coffee break” beat all to Hell (and I looooove coffee, so that’s saying something).

Someone getting on your nerves? Take a break!

Something stressing you out? Take a break!

Something weighing on your mind? Take a break!

Something about to start? Take a break!

Something just finished? Take a break!

Something you’d rather not do, so you’re looking to procrastinate? That break is your best friend!

The mindless smoke breaks were routine, but a lot of them were very specific in their purpose, providing me with plausible excuses to step away from whatever was troubling or vexing me, letting me refocus my energies, defuse bad moods, take a little time away from the ringing phone or busy in box or demanding colleagues or clients. Stress-buster, time-killer, coping strategy, “me time”...however you frame it, it represented time to myself.

But not necessarily time spent being good to myself.

That’s an important distinction. We all need to make time for self care. We also need to learn to recognize that not everything that feels like relief is actually doing us any good.

We ALL Need Breaks!

Whether I realized it or not, when I was a smoker, my day had around 20 or 30 (roughly) five-minute breaks built into it. That’s a decent chunk of time, if you add it all up! I never realized just how much until after I quit, and I suddenly seemed to have a whole bunch of extra time on my very fidgety hands.

I also realized that I had somehow conflated “smoking” with “taking a break,” as if the latter could not happen if I were not doing the former. I have seen so many new or would-be quitters struggling with this issue, not able to wrap their heads around the idea of taking the same amount of time to just walk away (and not smoke) or take five minutes to themselves (and not smoke) or refocus for a few (but not smoke).

I assure you, as a nonsmoker, you are still allowed to step away from your life for a few minutes without the excuse of needing a cigarette. At home. At work. Anywhere. Even in a fairly restrictive workplace, you can be pretty sure that your company would rather have nonsmoking employees, and won’t tell you that you can’t take a break unless you’re smoking. It may be the norm that only smokers get to (or do) take breaks, but it should not be the rule (and if it is, you have an issue to take up with HR). So go ahead: take a break for water, a bathroom visit, a quick walk or stretch, checking your phone for messages...the sky’s the limit. There are plenty of ways to take brief breaks in your day without relying on the excuse that you need to go suck burning tobacco smoke out of a little paper tube, I promise you.

It’s a little harder to learn to navigate those stress-induced “breaks” without including the nicotine component, at least at first. If taking a smoke break was your typical coping mechanism for dealing with stressful interpersonal interactions or tense situations, you need to figure out new ways to self-soothe when those moments hit. Again, just taking a few minutes to walk and clear your head can do wonders. I have a dog who would always appreciate even a five or ten-minute stroll, but taking a turn around the block on your own (and taking a few deep breaths to steady yourself) can be just as effective. So is a brief, deep breathing meditation moment, or a good stretch. So is texting a friend to vent at the latest stress-causing indignity. So is throwing something at a wall or slamming a door (hey, it doesn’t have to be pretty, just effective!).

Point is, there are times when we all need a break. We all benefit from them, and we don’t need that old excuse to take one.

YouTube Video

_{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

_{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, Betsrutan, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, Betrutan,bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, cassandraX,}_{CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn (in memoriam), cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, Christy1947, ChurchofBruce, ciganka, cinnamondog, citizenx, ClapClapSnap, claude, Cleante, Code Monkey, codobus, Coldblue Steele, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, common green, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, CwV, dadanation, Damnit Janet, dangoch, DarienComp, dauber, Dauphin, Dave in AZ, David54, deedogg, deha, Dem Beans, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, docreed2003, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, Dr Teeth, Dreggas, DRo, droogie6655321, Dube, duckhunter, Eclectablog, Eddie C, EdgedInBlue, edr, effervescent, elbamash, El barragas, el vasco, electricgrendel, entrelac, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, exiledfromTN, exlrrp, ExpatGirl, ezdidit, fat old man, fauve, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, flumptytail, Friend of the court, fritzi56, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, GDbot, Geiiga, GenXangster, gloriana, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, icallbs, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou (in memoriam), Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, ladypockt, Lahdee, LamontCranston, langerdang, LarsThorwald, LA rupert, last starfighter, LaughingPlanet, laura50, Laurie Gator, Lava20, Leo in NJ, LiberalVol, lightarty, Limelite, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, Lonely Liberal in PA, Lonely Texan, longislandny, Lorinda Pike, LtdEdishn, lunacat, lunachickie, luvsathoroughbred, lying eyes, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, MargaretPOA, Marjmar, Mark E Andersen (Kodiak54), marknspokane, marsanges, maryabein, Matf, Matt Esler, Maxiemax, maybeeso in michigan, MBNYC, mdemploi, Meteor Blades, Micburke, michael1104, MillieNeon, minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, Miz Trom, mjbleo, MnRaindog (in memoriam), mntleo2, mollyd, Mopshell, Morague, MotoGP, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, Murfster35, Murphoney, Mxwll, nannyboyz, Naturalized Texan, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nespolo, netop, Nick Zouroudis, NinetyWt, nokkonwud, NotGeorgeWill, notgivingup, NY brit expat, occupystephanie, oceanview, OffTheHill, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peacestpete, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, phrogge prince, pitbullgirl65, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, riverlover, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, shortgirl, sidious666, sidnora, Siris, slksfca, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, Smoh, smokeymonkey, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, SoCalSal, sofia, solo canoe, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, SpecialKinFlag, spmozart, spotDawa, SpotTheCat, srkp23, StateOfGrace, Statusquomustgo, stiffneck, stonekeeper, suesue, sunbro, Super Grover, susans, swampyankee, Syoho, tallmom, tarkangi, Tay, tdslf1, teknospaz, The Eyewitness Muse, The grouch, The Technomancer, The Termite, texasgirl99, theatre goon, TheBatchelor, TheGeneral, TheStoopingRabbit, tigerdog, TigerMom, Tim DeLaney, tiredofcrap, TomP, tonyahky, Toyotabob7, TracieLynn, TreeFrog, triciawyse (in memoriam), tripodisblack, Trix, trs, trueblueliberal, TrueBlueMajority, ttanner, Tulsonian, Turn VABlue, Turtle Bay, Tyto Alba, uc booker, UncleCharlie, Unduna, Unforgiven, ursoklevar, USArmyParatrooper, VA02 femocrat, Vacationland, valadon, Vayle, vc2, Vetwife, vgranucci, Via Chicago, Village expects idiot home soon, viral, vulcangrrl, waytac, Weapons Grade Plum, webranding, Wee Mama, weelzup, Wes Opinion, Whimsical Rapscallion, willy be frantic, willy mugobeer, wishingwell, Wood Dragon, wolfie1818, Wordsinthewind, Wreck Smurfy, x, xopher, YellowDogInGa, yet another liberal, zestyann, Zotz}

_{Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!}

_{If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread. New voices are always welcome!}

_{Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can comment. Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular (though it would be nice), and you would make some quitters very happy.}

Hellllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out there!!!

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

^{Thu AM: Open}

^{Thu PM: Mopshell — on hiatus?}

^{Fri AM: flumptytail}

^{Fri PM: Murfster35 — on hiatus}

^{Sat AM: Betsrutan!}

^{Sat PM: Open}

^{Sun AM: gchaucer2 (whoo hoo!)}

^{Sun PM: Open}

^{Mon AM: Open}

^{Mon PM: Open}

^{Tue AM: Open}

^{Tue PM: Open}

^{Wed AM: Open}

GUS: What's Your Story?

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday October 05, 2016 · 3:18 PM PDT

2016/10/05 · 15:18

As good a place as any to start, I suppose...

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

Once Upon a Time…

We’re all storytellers at heart, in a way. While some of us make our living by spinning stories (or helping others to tell theirs, an underappreciated skill), most of us limit our efforts to social media interaction or blogging or even more private pursuits, such as keeping a journal or simply sharing our experiences face-to-face with those around us. Still, no matter what form it takes, at its core, our storytelling impulse is rooted in a desire to make sense of our lives, and our own place in it, and (usually) to connect with others by sharing that experience. Most of us recognize that we have a story to tell, and most of us try to tell it in some way, shape or form.

We have public personas: the self that we feel safe sharing with colleagues, acquaintances, or even Strangers on the Internet.^TM Some people cultivate social media personas that show only their best (or worst) selves to the world, and save their real selves — their true story — for a trusted few. For various reasons, some even keep that story just for themselves, and a few of us do a pretty good job at ignoring our own story too, or at least pretending that it’s something other than what it is.

Some spin their stories into memoir gold or use them to amuse; some use it to inform their art; and many simply blurt stuff out in online comments sections or use public fora to tell their truths and share their struggles or work through whatever they need to work through. The interwebs are made of that (and also cats and tubes, but that’s a whole ‘nother thing). Sometimes those stories are aimed at a specific audience, or used to help others, as with recovery narratives and self-help groups or communities (hey there GUS!).

Some of us use our stories as a sort of shorthand, as a way to sketch out the basics for others: the who, what, where, whens and whys of our lives. Where we came from and how we came to be who we are, and where we might be headed. A frame to hang our decisions on. A thing to pass on to future generations. A way to say “this is me! [In a nutshell.]”

Sometimes it’s therapy: a raw, unvarnished, unsentimental, even confrontational look at what has transpired and our concerns or fears of the future. This “warts and all” approach may be welcomed by some, or be too much for others to take. It’s one of life’s big crap-shoots: who can handle my truth? If we’re lucky, we find a few folks willing to listen when we need to be heard. If we’re super lucky, they may even stick around to hear more.

We also have internal narratives and personal histories and “self stories” that help us explain to ourselves where we came from, what we’ve been through, and where we’re going. We use these internal narratives to guide — and sometimes to rationalize — our decisions and actions. In a very real way, we are who we tell ourselves we are. Those of us struggling with behavioral change know more than most how critical it can be to take control of this internal narrative, to really hear what we’re telling ourselves and to take conscious steps to counter those internal voices if the things they’re saying are counterproductive or discursive or too self-critical.

We also have it in our power to change the stories we tell ourselves and others, to alter the details to fit new realities and modes of being — we forget that parts of our stories are still unwritten, or that we can change how we feel about the chapters that cause us pain.

The stories we tell — our stories — are a way of sharing our humanity (flaws and all) with others. They help others understand, empathize, relate, or be inspired.

They’re also a way of clarifying our own past and present in order to work out the best path to take going forward. The things we tell ourselves can even be more important than the things we share with others. We all know folks who are natural storytellers, and we may not think ourselves gifted in that way, but we all live with stories, and we all have stories to tell.

What’s your story?

YouTube Video

^{The Best of StoryCorps Playlist}

_{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

_{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, Betsrutan, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, Betrutan,bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, cassandraX,}_{CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn (in memoriam), cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, Christy1947, ChurchofBruce, ciganka, cinnamondog, citizenx, ClapClapSnap, claude, Cleante, Code Monkey, codobus, Coldblue Steele, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, common green, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, CwV, dadanation, Damnit Janet, dangoch, DarienComp, dauber, Dauphin, Dave in AZ, David54, deedogg, deha, Dem Beans, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, docreed2003, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, Dr Teeth, Dreggas, DRo, droogie6655321, Dube, duckhunter, Eclectablog, Eddie C, EdgedInBlue, edr, effervescent, elbamash, El barragas, el vasco, electricgrendel, entrelac, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, exiledfromTN, exlrrp, ExpatGirl, ezdidit, fat old man, fauve, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, flumptytail, Friend of the court, fritzi56, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, GDbot, Geiiga, GenXangster, gloriana, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, icallbs, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou (in memoriam), Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, ladypockt, Lahdee, LamontCranston, langerdang, LarsThorwald, LA rupert, last starfighter, LaughingPlanet, laura50, Laurie Gator, Lava20, Leo in NJ, LiberalVol, lightarty, Limelite, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, Lonely Liberal in PA, Lonely Texan, longislandny, Lorinda Pike, LtdEdishn, lunacat, lunachickie, luvsathoroughbred, lying eyes, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, MargaretPOA, Marjmar, Mark E Andersen (Kodiak54), marknspokane, marsanges, maryabein, Matf, Matt Esler, Maxiemax, maybeeso in michigan, MBNYC, mdemploi, Meteor Blades, Micburke, michael1104, MillieNeon, minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, Miz Trom, mjbleo, MnRaindog (in memoriam), mntleo2, mollyd, Mopshell, Morague, MotoGP, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, Murfster35, Murphoney, Mxwll, nannyboyz, Naturalized Texan, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nespolo, netop, Nick Zouroudis, NinetyWt, nokkonwud, NotGeorgeWill, notgivingup, NY brit expat, occupystephanie, oceanview, OffTheHill, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peacestpete, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, phrogge prince, pitbullgirl65, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, riverlover, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, shortgirl, sidious666, sidnora, Siris, slksfca, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, Smoh, smokeymonkey, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, SoCalSal, sofia, solo canoe, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, SpecialKinFlag, spmozart, spotDawa, SpotTheCat, srkp23, StateOfGrace, Statusquomustgo, stiffneck, stonekeeper, suesue, sunbro, Super Grover, susans, swampyankee, Syoho, tallmom, tarkangi, Tay, tdslf1, teknospaz, The Eyewitness Muse, The grouch, The Technomancer, The Termite, texasgirl99, theatre goon, TheBatchelor, TheGeneral, TheStoopingRabbit, tigerdog, TigerMom, Tim DeLaney, tiredofcrap, TomP, tonyahky, Toyotabob7, TracieLynn, TreeFrog, triciawyse (in memoriam), tripodisblack, Trix, trs, trueblueliberal, TrueBlueMajority, ttanner, Tulsonian, Turn VABlue, Turtle Bay, Tyto Alba, uc booker, UncleCharlie, Unduna, Unforgiven, ursoklevar, USArmyParatrooper, VA02 femocrat, Vacationland, valadon, Vayle, vc2, Vetwife, vgranucci, Via Chicago, Village expects idiot home soon, viral, vulcangrrl, waytac, Weapons Grade Plum, webranding, Wee Mama, weelzup, Wes Opinion, Whimsical Rapscallion, willy be frantic, willy mugobeer, wishingwell, Wood Dragon, wolfie1818, Wordsinthewind, Wreck Smurfy, x, xopher, YellowDogInGa, yet another liberal, zestyann, Zotz}

_{Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!}

_{If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread. New voices are always welcome!}

_{Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can comment. Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular (though it would be nice), and you would make some quitters very happy.}

Hellllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out there!!!

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

^{Thu AM: Open}

^{Thu PM: Mopshell — on hiatus?}

^{Fri AM: flumptytail}

^{Fri PM: Murfster35 — on hiatus?}

^{Sat AM: Open}

^{Sat PM: Mxwll — on hiatus?}

^{Sun AM: bgblcklab1? ( gchaucer2 <3 on hiatus)}

^{Sun PM: Open}

^{Mon AM: Open}

^{Mon PM: Open}

^{Tue AM: gchaucer2 <3}

^{Tue PM: Open}

^{Wed AM: Open}

GUS: A Spoonful of Sugar

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday September 28, 2016 · 10:51 AM PDT

2016/09/28 · 10:51

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

Shut Up & Take Your Medicine

A Spoonful of Sugar

_{In every job that must be done,}

^{there is an element of fun}
^{You find the fun and snap, the job's a game}
And every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake
_{A lark, a spree, it's very clear to see…}

^{That a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down, the medicine go down

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way}

Here are some things that are mostly true:
People don’t enjoy unpleasant experiences.

People don’t like being told they have to do something (even for good reasons).

People don’t like being told they have to do something in a specific way, or else.

People don’t like it when they [begrudgingly] do the thing and it turns out to be unpleasant.

People will often abandon their efforts if the last thing happens.

People will often feel bad about themselves and the entire experience if they end up bailing.

People will often assume that every subsequent effort will end up the same way.

You know what else these truths are? A recipe for failure.

But there is a better way!

_{The honey bees that fetch the nectar}

^{From the flowers to the comb
Never tire of ever buzzing to and fro because}

they take a little nip From every flower that they sip and hence They find their task is not a grind

Nobody wants to court failure or assume the worst, it’s just that it’s sometimes difficult to envision a better outcome if we focus on the things that aren’t working or the things we might have done wrong, instead of paying attention to the things that did work or the things we actually got right.

Tastes Great, More Fulfilling

In our zeal to make sweeping behavioral changes and embrace new ways of being, we may fall into the trap of mistakenly assuming that any unpleasantness we experience as a result is unavoidable and, worse, permanent. I’m here to tell you: it ain’t necessarily so.

Humans respond to rewards, and they’re particularly open to them when they’re uncomfortable or frustrated or stressed-out (feelings anyone attempting behavioral change will recognize). In the rush to beat ourselves up for failing to reach some ideal or goal, we often forget that a little kindness goes a long way...even if that kindness comes from within, in the form of self-care.

Self-care can be as simple as reminding yourself that you’re doing your best while attempting a difficult thing, or as tangible as rewarding yourself with a treat once you’ve met a goal or made it through something unpleasant. It doesn’t have to be a literal treat (I’m not advocating actual spoonfuls of sugar, despite the preponderance of Poppins on this page); your reward can be a peaceful moment to yourself, a little mental vacation, a few minutes of non-onerous activity, or anything that distracts from the task at hand.

Seeding your daily efforts with small moments of reward and self-caring can make a huge difference in outcome. Learning to say nice, encouraging things to yourself (instead of replaying the same, tired, self-critical internal script) can too. Give it a shot!

Piece of cake!

YouTube Video

^{(Randy Rainbow channels Mary P., just for fun.)}

_{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

_{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, Betsrutan, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, Betrutan,bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn (in memoriam), cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, Christy1947, ChurchofBruce, ciganka, cinnamondog, citizenx, ClapClapSnap, claude, Cleante, Code Monkey, codobus, Coldblue Steele, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, common green, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, CwV, dadanation, Damnit Janet, dangoch, DarienComp, dauber, Dauphin, Dave in AZ, David54, deedogg, deha, Dem Beans, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, docreed2003, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, Dr Teeth, Dreggas, DRo, droogie6655321, Dube, duckhunter, Eclectablog, Eddie C, EdgedInBlue, edr, effervescent, elbamash, El barragas, el vasco, electricgrendel, entrelac, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, exiledfromTN, exlrrp, ExpatGirl, ezdidit, fat old man, fauve, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, flumptytail, Friend of the court, fritzi56, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, GDbot, Geiiga, GenXangster, gloriana, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, icallbs, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou (in memoriam), Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, ladypockt, Lahdee, LamontCranston, langerdang, LarsThorwald, LA rupert, last starfighter, LaughingPlanet, laura50, Laurie Gator, Lava20, Leo in NJ, LiberalVol, lightarty, Limelite, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, Lonely Liberal in PA, Lonely Texan, longislandny, Lorinda Pike, LtdEdishn, lunacat, lunachickie, luvsathoroughbred, lying eyes, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, MargaretPOA, Marjmar, Mark E Andersen (Kodiak54), marknspokane, marsanges, maryabein, Matf, Matt Esler, Maxiemax, maybeeso in michigan, MBNYC, mdemploi, Meteor Blades, Micburke, michael1104, MillieNeon, minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, Miz Trom, mjbleo, MnRaindog (in memoriam), mntleo2, mollyd, Mopshell, Morague, MotoGP, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, Murfster35, Murphoney, Mxwll, nannyboyz, Naturalized Texan, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nespolo, netop, Nick Zouroudis, NinetyWt, nokkonwud, NotGeorgeWill, notgivingup, NY brit expat, occupystephanie, oceanview, OffTheHill, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peacestpete, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, phrogge prince, pitbullgirl65, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, riverlover, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, shortgirl, sidious666, sidnora, Siris, slksfca, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, Smoh, smokeymonkey, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, SoCalSal, sofia, solo canoe, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, SpecialKinFlag, spmozart, spotDawa, SpotTheCat, srkp23, StateOfGrace, Statusquomustgo, stiffneck, stonekeeper, suesue, sunbro, Super Grover, susans, swampyankee, Syoho, tallmom, tarkangi, Tay, tdslf1, teknospaz, The Eyewitness Muse, The grouch, The Technomancer, The Termite, texasgirl99, theatre goon, TheBatchelor, TheGeneral, TheStoopingRabbit, tigerdog, TigerMom, Tim DeLaney, tiredofcrap, TomP, tonyahky, Toyotabob7, TracieLynn, TreeFrog, triciawyse (in memoriam), tripodisblack, Trix, trs, trueblueliberal, TrueBlueMajority, ttanner, Tulsonian, Turn VABlue, Turtle Bay, Tyto Alba, uc booker, UncleCharlie, Unduna, Unforgiven, ursoklevar, USArmyParatrooper, VA02 femocrat, Vacationland, valadon, Vayle, vc2, Vetwife, vgranucci, Via Chicago, Village expects idiot home soon, viral, vulcangrrl, waytac, webranding, Wee Mama, weelzup, Wes Opinion, Whimsical Rapscallion, willy be frantic, willy mugobeer, wishingwell, Wood Dragon, wolfie1818, Wordsinthewind, Wreck Smurfy, x, xopher, YellowDogInGa, yet another liberal, zestyann, Zotz}

_{Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!}

_{If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread. New voices are always welcome!}

_{Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can comment. Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular (though it would be nice), and you would make some quitters very happy.}

Hellllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out there!!!

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

^{Thu AM: Open}

^{Thu PM: Mopshell (Hello?)}

^{Fri AM: flumptytail}

^{Fri PM: Murfster35 (yoooo-hoooo?)}

^{Sat AM: Open}

^{Sat PM: Mxwll (you still out there?)}

^{Sun AM: bgblcklab1? ( gchaucer2 <3 on hiatus)}

^{Sun PM: Open}

^{Mon AM: Open}

^{Mon PM: Open}

^{Tue AM: gchaucer2 <3}

^{Tue PM: Open}

^{Wed AM: Open}

GUS: Fall Change

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday September 14, 2016 · 2:41 PM PDT

2016/09/14 · 14:41

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

Happy Fall, y’all!

Okay, it’s not technically Fall yet, but anything after Labor Day is close enough for me. I’m ready to ditch the A/C and start layering, savoring the crisp morning air and smell of leaves, and go into deep denial about that “falling back” thing we do to our clocks every Fall, leaving us with uncomfortably early sunsets until we reverse the process next Spring. Fortunately, I’m easily distracted by pretty leaves and the sudden onslaught of pumpkin spice-flavored products.

I’ve written about this before, but unlike a lot of folks who decide to embark on self-improvement efforts and behavioral changes at the turn of the new year each January, I’ve always been more of a “new school year” kind of gal when it comes to that. Even though my school days are far (and I mean really far) behind me now, I’ve never lost the sense of newness that the beginning of the school calendar brings, and so September — not January — has always been my time to change things up. As Fall approaches, I get the itch to organize my house, cross items off my endless chore list, and even buy new school clothes (even though, as I mentioned, I’m decades away from being a student).

The timing of my quit (late August) was not planned, but in retrospect I wonder if I was predisposed to finally (after years of half-assed attempts) quit for good as I felt Fall approach? Maybe I wanted to clear the slate for my version of the new year; to embark on a new season without the old baggage.

Maybe I just felt change in the air?

I do know that first Fall seemed different. It smelled different — or rather, it smelled familiar, like I’d remembered Fall smelling when I was younger: the subtle smell of leaves turning to mulch and the sweet tang of apples on branches and wet wool and the salt air on foggy mornings. Things I hadn’t really noticed (or, more likely, been able to smell) when I was a smoker. It was nostalgic and new at the same time.

Are you ready to make a change and see what you’ve been missing?

YouTube Video

^{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

^{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn (in memoriam), cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, Christy1947, ChurchofBruce, ciganka, cinnamondog, citizenx, ClapClapSnap, claude, Cleante, Code Monkey, codobus, Coldblue Steele, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, common green, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, CwV, dadanation, Damnit Janet, dangoch, DarienComp, dauber, Dauphin, Dave in AZ, David54, deedogg, deha, Dem Beans, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, docreed2003, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, Dr Teeth, Dreggas, DRo, droogie6655321, Dube, duckhunter, Eclectablog, Eddie C, EdgedInBlue, edr, effervescent, elbamash, El barragas, el vasco, electricgrendel, entrelac, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, exiledfromTN, exlrrp, ExpatGirl, ezdidit, fat old man, fauve, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, flumptytail, Friend of the court, fritzi56, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, GDbot, Geiiga, GenXangster, gloriana, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, icallbs, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou (in memoriam), Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, ladypockt, Lahdee, LamontCranston, langerdang, LarsThorwald, LA rupert, last starfighter, LaughingPlanet, Laurie Gator, Lava20, Leo in NJ, LiberalVol, lightarty, Limelite, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, Lonely Liberal in PA, Lonely Texan, longislandny, Lorinda Pike, LtdEdishn, lunacat, lunachickie, luvsathoroughbred, lying eyes, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, MargaretPOA, Marjmar, Mark E Andersen (Kodiak54), marknspokane, marsanges, maryabein, Matf, Matt Esler, Maxiemax, maybeeso in michigan, MBNYC, mdemploi, Meteor Blades, Micburke, michael1104, MillieNeon, minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, Miz Trom, mjbleo, MnRaindog (in memoriam), mntleo2, mollyd, Mopshell, Morague, MotoGP, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, Murfster35, Murphoney, Mxwll, nannyboyz, Naturalized Texan, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nespolo, netop, Nick Zouroudis, NinetyWt, nokkonwud, NotGeorgeWill, notgivingup, NY brit expat, occupystephanie, oceanview, OffTheHill, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peacestpete, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, phrogge prince, pitbullgirl65, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, riverlover, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, shortgirl, sidious666, sidnora, Siris, slksfca, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, Smoh, smokeymonkey, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, SoCalSal, sofia, solo canoe, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, SpecialKinFlag, spmozart, spotDawa, SpotTheCat, srkp23, StateOfGrace, Statusquomustgo, stiffneck, stonekeeper, suesue, sunbro, Super Grover, susans, swampyankee, Syoho, tallmom, tarkangi, Tay, tdslf1, teknospaz, The Eyewitness Muse, The grouch, The Technomancer, The Termite, texasgirl99, theatre goon, TheBatchelor, TheGeneral, TheStoopingRabbit, tigerdog, TigerMom, Tim DeLaney, tiredofcrap, TomP, tonyahky, Toyotabob7, TracieLynn, TreeFrog, triciawyse (in memoriam), tripodisblack, Trix, trs, trueblueliberal, TrueBlueMajority, ttanner, Tulsonian, Turn VABlue, Turtle Bay, Tyto Alba, uc booker, UncleCharlie, Unduna, Unforgiven, ursoklevar, USArmyParatrooper, VA02 femocrat, Vacationland, valadon, Vayle, vc2, Vetwife, vgranucci, Via Chicago, Village expects idiot home soon, viral, vulcangrrl, waytac, webranding, Wee Mama, weelzup, Wes Opinion, Whimsical Rapscallion, willy be frantic, willy mugobeer, wishingwell, Wood Dragon, wolfie1818, Wordsinthewind, Wreck Smurfy, x, xopher, YellowDogInGa, yet another liberal, zestyann, Zotz}

_{Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!}

_{If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread. New voices are always welcome!}

_{Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can comment. Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular (though it would be nice), and you would make some quitters very happy.}

Hellllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out there!!!

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

^{Thu AM: Open}

^{Thu PM: Mopshell (Hello?)}

^{Fri AM: flumptytail (anybody out there?)}

^{Fri PM: Murfster35 (yoooo-hoooo)}

^{Sat AM: Open}

^{Sat PM: Mxwll (you still out there?)}

^{Sun AM: bgblcklab1? ( gchaucer2 <3 on hiatus)}

^{Sun PM: Open}

^{Mon AM: Open}

^{Mon PM: Open}

^{Tue AM: gchaucer2 <3}

^{Tue PM: Open}

^{Wed AM: Open}

Poll

9 votes Show Results

Pumpkin Spice...

9 votes Vote Now!

Pumpkin Spice...

Latte

1 vote

Muffins

1 vote

Donuts

1 vote

Cheesecake

1 vote

Candles (I like the smell, not the flavor)

1 vote

I was never much of a Spice Girls fan, to be honest...

1 vote

PIE. Duh.

3 votes

GUS: This is Fine

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday September 07, 2016 · 3:12 PM PDT

2016/09/07 · 15:12

Everything's fine...juuuuust fiiiiiine...

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

WTF, Universe?!?

Remember a couple of weeks ago, when I posted about being sort of extra busy this summer, and begging your indulgence with my off-again, on-again, hit-or-miss GUS diary situation?

Yeah...good times. Little did I know that the “crazy busy” thing I was experiencing was actually the [relative] calm before the storm. Right after I posted that diary things ramped up at work and simultaneously went absolutely batshit crazy on the homefront. My Dad has some chronic health issues and what had been a tricky couple of weeks (involving a temporarily broken-down wheelchair and his fighting off an infection) evolved into a straight-up failure of services that lasted over the better part of a week. This was almost immediately followed by a more serious health episode that landed him (briefly) in the hospital.

During this time (through which I worked my full-time job and tried to keep my own household going, along with supplementing his network of services with some extra needed help), I was stretched a bit thin. Like, forget-what-day-of-the-week-it-is stretched thin. GUS (and most online stuff) kind of went out the window two weeks in a row. Mea culpa. (No, actually, not all my fault. I take that back. I’m blaming this one on the Universe’s cruel sense of humor and bad timing.)

Welcome to Crisisville, Population YOU

You know what? These things happen.

They happen (a lot) if you’re a caretaker, whether it be of children, aging parents, or a sick loved one (pets count too).

They happen when your school career or workplace is in transition, or if you’ve been laid off or can’t find work, or when you feel trapped in a high-stress, low-reward job you don’t much like.

They happen when money is tight or you’re blindsided by unexpected bills.

They happen as you’re trying to keep things afloat when everything in your life seems to be conspiring to trip you up, take you down, and stress you out.

And while some of us have to operate in crisis mode more than others — with a few of us taking up permanent residency in Crisisville — that doesn’t mean we have to bust out our very best Bad Coping Skills to get by.

Coping Skills R Us

Most of us have a handful of Bad Coping Skills, those not-very-effective strategies for handling stressful situations, and addictive people seem to have more than our fair share of them. Be honest: we’ve all been guilty of using a crisis as an excuse to avoid, reject, shut down, lash out, or self-medicate our way through stress at one time or another. It might even be the only way we know how to get through things.

So we rationalize. We tell ourselves it’s just until the crisis has passed, or until the stress subsides. We may even believe that whatever not-helpful thing we feel compelled to do actually is helpful (pro tip: it’s not). The cigarette won’t fix things. It won’t even make you feel 100% better in the moment, because some part of you realizes it’s not a real fix for what’s going on.

So what does help?

Developing new, effective coping strategies for combating stress.

Practicing self-care, and cultivating self-nurturing thoughts and actions in our daily lives.

Letting go of old habits, patterns, and mental scripts that aren’t doing us any good.

Acknowledging mistakes but learning to move past them instead of beating ourselves up for them.

Reminding ourselves that it’s just a bad day (or week, or month, or year), not a bad life. Perspective helps.

In my case, I realized that if there’s an upside to experiencing a continual downside, it’s this: the recognition that no amount of stress is going to make me go back to smoking — because if the kind of crap the Universe flung at me didn’t do it, nothing will!

That’s good news, right? ‘Cause I sure could use some. Things have been tough. But it’s fine. This is fine.

YouTube Video

^{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

^{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, 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OffTheHill, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peacestpete, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, phrogge prince, pitbullgirl65, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, riverlover, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, 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Hellllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo out there!!!

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

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GUS: Summertime and the Livin' is Busy

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday August 10, 2016 · 2:11 PM PDT

2016/08/10 · 14:11

Exactly how I remember it as a kid...more or less.

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

So about last week…

Hi there GUS buddies! Time got away from me (yet again) last week, I’m afraid. When Wednesday rolled around, I had spent the day thinking it was Tuesday (oops) and had nothing to say and no time to post it even if I had. I didn’t even have time to surface and put the word out but I figured if anyone was around, they’d figure it out. It happens. Especially in the summer.

I can just about remember a time when “summer” and its longer, lazier days meant having more time to do fun things, relax, take a break from your “regular” life, or focus on other time-consuming pursuits like outdoor activity, hobbies, or general good times. Vacations and trips were taken. Parties and cookouts were had. Substances were imbibed, drinks were ingested, things were smoked. Mistakes may or may not have been made. We didn’t have social media back in the day and cameras weren’t quite so ubiquitous, so we can maintain plausible deniability. I seem to remember it as mostly fun, though I’m sure there were quite a few not-so-fun things that happened as those long summer months spiraled out and were frittered away. But it seems like it’s been a good long while since summer = fun for me.

What happened?

Well, life, in short. Responsibilities. Jobs (and a changing work culture that asks for longer hours and less time away and provides less disposable income for super happy summer funtimes). Families scatter to the four winds; they have their own lives going on. We have new things competing for our attention and time (hellooooo technology).

Vacation, all I ever wanted…

I kind of miss it, sometimes, the idea of “summer vacation” and all that entailed. Yes, even the inevitable boredom and endless (from a kid’s perspective) trips and afternoons spent doing not much of anything. I miss not having the weight of responsibility or the burden of grown-up stresses.

On the other hand, there are things about it I don’t miss. I’m happy I’m not schlepping heavy trays in steamy, fried-clam-smelling restaurants for a couple of bucks an hour anymore. I’m glad I’m spending more of my disposable income on garden perennials and less of it on cigarettes. No amount of money on Earth could lure me back to the days of endless car trips with my cranky, bickering, verge-of-divorce parents. Every season (even the ones steeped in nostalgia and viewed through rose-colored glasses) has its downside.

Of course that’s not much comfort when I’m frazzled and worn down and overworked. But even on the busiest days, there are small reminders of the things that make summer special...even if it’s the realization that I’m walking home (in the daylight!) and breathing in sea air (with non-gunky lungs!) and knowing that there are more warm and breezy evenings to come before summer’s done.

YouTube Video

^{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

^{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, 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gloriana, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, icallbs, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou (in memoriam), Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, 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_{Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!}

_{If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread. New voices are always welcome!}

_{Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can comment. Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular (though it would be nice), and you would make some quitters very happy.}

Me, circa 1969.

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

^{Thu AM: Open}

^{Thu PM: Mopshell}

^{Fri AM: flumptytail}

^{Fri PM: Murfster35}

^{Sat AM: Open}

^{Sat PM: Mxwll}

^{Sun AM: bgblcklab1 Sunday Morning Cartoons ( gchaucer2 <3 on hiatus)}

^{Sun PM: Open}

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^{Tue AM: gchaucer2 <3}

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^{Wed AM: Open}

GUS: A Moment To Yourself

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday July 27, 2016 · 3:13 PM PDT

2016/07/27 · 15:13

...because we ALL need a little time on our own to decompress!

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.

^{Leo Tolstoy}

Stop a Moment

Most of us churn our way through life balancing a bunch of competing priorities, juggling a range of responsibilities, and dealing with a host of internal and external stressors. In other words, even on a good day, we’ve got a lot going on. Life can be complicated, even overwhelming.

As a result, we eventually have to develop coping strategies to manage everything going on in our lives, just for our own peace of mind. Some folks become super organized, Type A control freaks. Some become accustomed to a certain level of chaos or disorder, letting it build up periodically and then letting off steam when it gets to be too much for us. Some of us find procrastination or avoidance our cup of tea.

And smokers? Well, no matter what type of coping strategies we favor, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that nearly every smoker has, at one time or another, used a smoke break as an excuse to avoid dealing with something or someone. A sort of one-stop stress-busting break, if you will. It might even have been the only break we got from the craziness. Because of that, as damaging as it might have been, we still kind of loved it for that.

For a lot of us, those moments might also have been just about the only time we were alone with our thoughts, or able to step away from everything. To walk away (temporarily, at least) from a thorny problem at work or a stressful scenario at home or school. To regroup. To (ha!) “catch our breath.”

Just a Moment

Most of us don’t operate in a vacuum, or live in a state of isolation 24/7. Even those of us who live comparatively solitary lives — those of us working in isolation most of the day, those living alone, those new to an area or not close with many people, those who are geographically isolated or whose social lives are limited by shift work or constant travel (their own or others’), even the die-hard introverts and hermits by choice — probably spend at least some of our time dealing with others: family, friends, colleagues and fellow students, service sector workers...even people in online communities (who we all know are just as capable of testing our patience there as are the people we interact with IRL). Chances are not slim that at least one of these types of people in at least one of these settings is going to piss you off at some point. It’s just science!

Take a Moment

How do we cope once the tried-and-true Smoke Break is no longer an option? Are we doomed to a life filled with stress and no chance for escape? Because make no mistake, a lot of us became very attached to our little escape strategy, rationalizing the need for a smoke as a somehow legitimate excuse to step away from situations or people who were bothering us, no questions asked. Our brains grew to equate those breaks with piece of mind (instead of the complex biochemical reaction we were perpetuating), and that in turn provided positive reinforcement we may struggle to un-learn.

While simply stepping away for no apparent reason (WHAT?!!? That’s madness! MADNESS I TELL YOU!) is not seen as an option. New quitters often feel “weird” about taking breaks or find it difficult to establish new routines and coping strategies to handle those stressful scenarios that used to be our cue for some alone time.

I know that I certainly was. When I absolutely couldn’t stand to face whatever (or whomever) was vexing me for another second and needed to step away, I felt the need to invent other reasons to take the time:

I need to take a walk.

I need to go run an errand.

I’m going to Starbucks; need anything?

It took me months to make peace with my need for a little stress-busting “away” time during the day, and longer than that to come up with new ways to spend that time now that smoking was off the table. I had to give myself permission to walk away or take a few moments to gather myself, without having an excuse or reason beyond “I need to take a moment” (as a grown-up, you DO get to make the rules on stuff like this; it’s one of the few perks of getting older). I even had to re-learn how to do it: matter-of-factly, with no apologies. It’s healthy to indulge in this type of self-care. Taking a moment or two to process something, or work out the answers, or just move around and work off some pent-up frustrated energy? It’s good for you! Who knew? So don’t be afraid to recognize your moments and take them.

Go on, take a moment for yourself. Life isn’t going anywhere for those few minutes, I promise.

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^{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, 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GUS: We All Make Mistakes

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday July 13, 2016 · 1:08 PM PDT

2016/07/13 · 13:08

Let me just fix that...there! Good as new!

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

I make mistakes.

Okay, I know, know...no need to alert the media; this is hardly a revelation. You make mistakes too! So does everyone you know. We all do. There’s not a person living who hasn’t messed up, failed at something, bailed on someone, tanked, stumbled, blundered, slipped up, fallen short or been a big ol’ flop at some point or another.

Good intentions are great, but it’s virtually impossible to follow through on all of them. Life gets in the way sometimes, despite our best efforts, and even the most controlled, focused, determined folks are faced with circumstances beyond their control on occasion. Can we all agree that nobody’s perfect? Yes? So holding ourselves to unreasonable standards of perfection doesn’t make any sense at all, no matter who we are or what our circumstances may be. It’s simply a bar too high, and failing to clear it can discourage us from attempting anything at all.

And doing that, well, that would be a big mistake (and not the good kind, either).

“Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.” John Dewey

Learning From Our Mistakes

Messing up is one of the major ways human beings learn to do things. Sure, some of us try and succeed at a few things right away — we all get lucky sometimes, and our innate talents or the right set of circumstances can mean we skip the “messing up” stage of things on occasion — but for most us, we fail a whole bunch. Good thing failure is instructive.

When we have a less-than-ideal result it gives us the opportunity to acknowledge the failure, examine what we did (if anything) that contributed to the result, figure out what went wrong or didn’t work for us, decide what we can change to make our next effort successful, and try again. That last part is really important, so I’ll risk repeating myself: TRY AGAIN. Because most of the time, we’ll have to.

Nobody enjoys making mistakes (except for maybe this guy) but since we’re going to go ahead and make them anyway, why not figure out a way to turn the experience into a positive? I don’t mean enjoy them, necessarily — nobody really loves to fail, do they? — but at least make the experience work for us. That means actively deciding to learn from the attempt (even if it yielded imperfect results) and using what we learn to change things for the next go-round.

Dwelling on the failed effort doesn’t help, but learning from it certainly does. If you can hang onto the lesson and let go of the feelings associated with the failure itself, you’re making mistakes work for you, instead of just making mistakes.

Try Try Again

A series of failures can be disheartening, as anyone who has tried (and tried, and tried, and #%!*#%!! tried again) to make major behavioral changes knows all too well. It wears us down. It makes us question ourselves. It gives us an excuse to beat ourselves up, perhaps following some self-critical inner script (a script we totally need to ditch, by the way).

But even the longest string of apparent failures can be useful, and even something to celebrate. Because even if we’re failing (for now) at least we’re making an effort, and continued effort is pretty much the only way to (eventually) succeed. Failures show that we’re giving it a shot...and if we can allow ourselves to learn from those mistakes, they weren’t useless after all, were they?

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^{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn (in memoriam), cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, Christy1947, ChurchofBruce, ciganka, cinnamondog, citizenx, ClapClapSnap, claude, Cleante, Code Monkey, codobus, Coldblue Steele, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, common green, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, CwV, dadanation, Damnit Janet, dangoch, DarienComp, dauber, Dauphin, Dave in AZ, David54, deedogg, deha, Dem Beans, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, docreed2003, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, Dr Teeth, Dreggas, DRo, droogie6655321, Dube, duckhunter, Eclectablog, Eddie C, EdgedInBlue, edr, effervescent, elbamash, El barragas, el vasco, electricgrendel, entrelac, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, exiledfromTN, exlrrp, ExpatGirl, ezdidit, fat old man, fauve, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, flumptytail, Friend of the court, fritzi56, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, GDbot, Geiiga, GenXangster, gloriana, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, icallbs, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou (in memoriam), Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, 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OffTheHill, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peacestpete, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, phrogge prince, pitbullgirl65, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, riverlover, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, 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_{Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name}!

_{If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread. New voices are always welcome!}

_{Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can comment. Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular (though it would be nice), and you would make some quitters very happy.}

And trying is always a good thing.

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

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GUS: All or Nothing at All

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday June 29, 2016 · 3:15 PM PDT

2016/06/29 · 15:15

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

All or Nothing

When we’re young, we tend to view the world in very black and white terms: circumstances are really wonderful or super awful; an experience is either the best thing in the history of awesome things or the worst thing that ever happened; people are wholly good or purely evil; something’s either right or wrong. There’s very little “wiggle room” for the gray areas and two-sides-to-every-story choices that we as adults often find ourselves facing. It’s simpler. It’s also less forgiving.

We learn to process nuance as time goes by, but that doesn’t mean we always abandon this all-or-nothing mode of thinking entirely. When you can categorize a decision or activity in the simplest possible way it eliminates the need to pay attention to all that stuff in the “mushy middle” where ambiguity and doubt live. But it also eliminates the wiggle room we need to accommodate our flaws and missteps, in all their imperfectly human glory (okay, “glory” is probably the wrong word, but you know what I mean). When there are only two categories available and one of them is bad, how do we judge ourselves if we mess up? If my own experiences are any indication, the answer is: “harshly.”

Go Hard or Go Home

It’s tempting to want to go all-in on something, especially when you’ve had to psych yourself up to make a change or attempt something that you’ve been dreading. “Go hard or go home,” right, Coach? Somehow we think that committing ourselves 110% to a goal and not allowing room for any mistakes or hiccups or false starts or failures is the only way we’ll succeed, and if we can’t do that, well, why even bother to do it at all? There’s the perfect way to do something, and there’s...not doing anything, I guess?

Because that’s exactly where your mind goes when you’re stuck in this simplistic, binary way of thinking. It’s the right way to do something or it’s such a doomed enterprise that you don’t even bother to try.

It’s perfect or it’s worthless.

One or the other.

The Mushy Middle is Okay, I Swear!

And the reality, almost always, is somewhere in between. That dreaded mushy middle. In the political discussions on the outer blog we often hear that “perfect is the enemy of the good” argument, and as sick as we might be of hearing it, it applies to behavioral change too: don’t let the rigid need for doing something (in this case, quitting) perfectly the first time get in the way of even making a [possibly flawed] attempt — or six attempts, if that’s what it takes.

People are complicated. Life is complicated. Changing behaviors is complicated. We might wish it were otherwise, but generally it’s just not. Go out there are try anyway. You might even surprise yourself.

YouTube Video

^{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

^{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn (in memoriam), cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, Christy1947, ChurchofBruce, ciganka, cinnamondog, citizenx, ClapClapSnap, claude, Cleante, Code Monkey, codobus, Coldblue Steele, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, common green, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, CwV, dadanation, Damnit Janet, dangoch, DarienComp, dauber, Dauphin, Dave in AZ, David54, deedogg, deha, Dem Beans, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, docreed2003, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, Dr Teeth, Dreggas, DRo, droogie6655321, Dube, duckhunter, Eclectablog, Eddie C, EdgedInBlue, edr, effervescent, elbamash, El barragas, el vasco, electricgrendel, entrelac, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, exiledfromTN, exlrrp, ExpatGirl, ezdidit, fat old man, fauve, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, flumptytail, Friend of the court, fritzi56, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, GDbot, Geiiga, GenXangster, gloriana, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, icallbs, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou (in memoriam), Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, ladypockt, Lahdee, LamontCranston, langerdang, LarsThorwald, LA rupert, last starfighter, LaughingPlanet, Laurie Gator, Lava20, Leo in NJ, LiberalVol, lightarty, Limelite, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, Lonely Liberal in PA, Lonely Texan, longislandny, Lorinda Pike, LtdEdishn, lunacat, lunachickie, luvsathoroughbred, lying eyes, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, MargaretPOA, Marjmar, Mark E Andersen (Kodiak54), marknspokane, marsanges, maryabein, Matf, Matt Esler, Maxiemax, maybeeso in michigan, MBNYC, mdemploi, Meteor Blades, Micburke, michael1104, MillieNeon, minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, Miz Trom, mjbleo, MnRaindog (in memoriam), mntleo2, mollyd, Mopshell, Morague, MotoGP, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, Murfster35, Murphoney, Mxwll, nannyboyz, Naturalized Texan, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nespolo, netop, Nick Zouroudis, NinetyWt, nokkonwud, NotGeorgeWill, notgivingup, NY brit expat, occupystephanie, oceanview, OffTheHill, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peacestpete, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, phrogge prince, pitbullgirl65, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, riverlover, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, shortgirl, sidious666, sidnora, Siris, slksfca, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, Smoh, smokeymonkey, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, SoCalSal, sofia, solo canoe, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, SpecialKinFlag, spmozart, spotDawa, SpotTheCat, srkp23, StateOfGrace, Statusquomustgo, stiffneck, stonekeeper, suesue, sunbro, Super Grover, susans, swampyankee, Syoho, tallmom, tarkangi, Tay, tdslf1, teknospaz, The Eyewitness Muse, The grouch, The Technomancer, The Termite, texasgirl99, theatre goon, TheGeneral, TheStoopingRabbit, tigerdog, TigerMom, Tim DeLaney, tiredofcrap, TomP, tonyahky, Toyotabob7, TracieLynn, TreeFrog, triciawyse (in memoriam), tripodisblack, Trix, trs, trueblueliberal, TrueBlueMajority, ttanner, Tulsonian, Turn VABlue, Turtle Bay, Tyto Alba, uc booker, UncleCharlie, Unduna, Unforgiven, ursoklevar, USArmyParatrooper, VA02 femocrat, Vacationland, valadon, Vayle, vc2, Vetwife, vgranucci, Via Chicago, Village expects idiot home soon, viral, vulcangrrl, waytac, webranding, Wee Mama, weelzup, Wes Opinion, Whimsical Rapscallion, willy be frantic, willy mugobeer, Wood Dragon, wolfie1818, Wordsinthewind, Wreck Smurfy, x, xopher, YellowDogInGa, yet another liberal, zestyann, Zotz}

^{Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!}

_{If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread. New voices are always welcome!}

_{Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can comment. Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular (though it would be nice), and you would make some quitters very happy.}

There are other paths too.

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

^{Thu AM: Open}

^{Thu PM: Mopshell}

^{Fri AM: flumptytail}

^{Fri PM: Murfster35}

^{Sat AM: Open}

^{Sat PM: Mxwll}

^{Sun AM: gchaucer2 <3}

^{Sun PM: Open}

^{Mon AM: Open}

^{Mon PM: Open}

^{Tue AM: gchaucer2 <3}

^{Tue PM: Open}

^{Wed AM: Open}

Poll

13 votes Show Results

All...

13 votes Vote Now!

All...

...or nothing

2 votes

...or something

8 votes

...the pie. Thanks!

3 votes

GUS: Lucky Number Seven

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday June 15, 2016 · 3:28 PM PDT

2016/06/15 · 15:28

Holy Crap, is it SEVEN YEARS ALREADY???!!??

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

Well, Here We Are

This little self-help community has been chugging along quietly here at Daily Kos for seven years today. Some of you reading this may have been members for as long as its been around. Some might have stumbled across the place for the first time today. I’m guessing most of you fall somewhere in between there. Doesn’t matter when you got here, or how you found us (thanks for the shout-out, C&J!), or even why you decided to click through — what matters is that you’re here!

It’s not a bad place, all things considered. A nice little [mostly] non-political corner of Daily Kos where people can hang out and get (or give) support in quitting smoking — although, to be honest, we talk about that less than we talk about all kinds of other things. It’s not a one-topic hangout by any means, it’s just a little community that conveeeeniently happens to have a bunch of people who know something about quitting smoking and helping others to get through it, should the need arise.

I’ve been here since the start...I commented in a diary posted by a Kossack named Rosebuddear who was trying to get a little support in her effort to quit smoking. I’d been quit for a few years already at that point, so I chimed in with my two cents. Some commenters proposed we start a community to support the increasing numbers of people who had decided to give quitting a try. I stuck around to comment in subsequent diaries because I liked the people and understood first-hand what a lot of the new quitters were going through.

The rest, as they say, is history.

I’m glad I stuck around. There are some seriously wonderful people here; check out that Buddy List below if you don’t believe me! Soon I started writing and hosting GUS diaries; now there are literally hundreds of them, on just about every possible smoking-related topic (Seriously, just way too many of them.) I have my fellow quitter Common Sense Mainer — who had a Psychic Friends Network moment by choosing to quit exactly a year before GUS was founded — to thank for a lot of diary topics. Thanks, Bud! Happy Quitiversary!

We don’t have the inside track on quitting here at GUS, or know the One True Way to get ‘er done. We may not agree on methods (we have advocates for harm reduction and vaping enthusiasts and cold turkey quitters and patch/gum fans) , but we don’t rule out any of them: every person is different and every quit is too. Our unofficial motto is “whatever it takes.”

A lot of people have quit (or stayed quit) at least in part thanks to GUS. Some have moved on but are still smoke-free. Some have moved on because they fell off the wagon and felt bad about it (we’re keeping their seats warm and we promise no lectures or nicotine-shaming!). Some are currently off the wagon but mustering up the energy to give it another shot. Some are stuck, but hopeful. Everyone’s welcome here, as long as they’re supportive of anyone else’s efforts to quit. No lectures, no obligations, and best of all, no Rox/Sux flame wars in the comments! Because that is the LAST thing you need when you’re trying to quit smoking, amirite?

Are you ready to give quitting a shot (or give it another shot)? This might just be the place you’re looking for.

YouTube Video

^{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

^{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn (in memoriam), cee4, Cen Den, ChocolateChris, Christy1947, ChurchofBruce, ciganka, cinnamondog, citizenx, ClapClapSnap, claude, Cleante, Code Monkey, codobus, Coldblue Steele, Colorado is the Shiznit, coloradomomma, common green, Common Sense Mainer, congenitalefty, coppercelt, CwV, dadanation, Damnit Janet, dangoch, DarienComp, dauber, Dauphin, Dave in AZ, David54, deedogg, deha, Dem Beans, demkat620, Dexter, Diana in NoVa, Dickie, DiegoUK, Dingodude, dirtdude, distraught, djMikulec, docreed2003, dolfin66, donnamarie, Donna O, dotsright, Dr Teeth, Dreggas, DRo, droogie6655321, Dube, duckhunter, Eclectablog, Eddie C, EdgedInBlue, edr, effervescent, elbamash, El barragas, el vasco, electricgrendel, entrelac, ericlewis0, Everest42, Ex Con, exiledfromTN, exlrrp, ExpatGirl, ezdidit, fat old man, fauve, fhamme, Fineena, fiona2, fishhawk, Flea, flumptytail, Friend of the court, fritzi56, FrugalGranny, Garrett, Gator, gchaucer2, GDbot, Geiiga, GenXangster, gloriana, glpaul, gooderservice, gooners, Gordon20024, gravlax, GreenMountainBoy02 (in memoriam), greylox, grndrush (in memoriam), GrumpyWarriorPoet, GuerillaLiberal, GulfExpat, gzodik, Haningchadus14, Haole in Hawaii, HappyinNM, henlesloop, here4tehbeer, HeyMikey, hideinplainsight, High Tide, hiliner68, history first, hold tight, Homers24, Hugh Jim Bissell, hulibow, I love OCD, I said GOOD DAY sir, icallbs, Illinois IRV, Im a frayed knot, imisa, Indexer, indubitably, indyada, Interceptor7, Inventor, Isaacsdad, ItsaMathJoke, itsbenj, itsjim, Jahiz, James Earl, JamesEB, janl1776, Janeo, jarbyus, jayjaybear, jbalazs, JBL55, jbou (in memoriam), Jeffersonian Democrat, jillwklausen, jmadlc55, jmonch, Joes Steven (aka Steven), john keats, john07801, johngoes, johnny wurster, jsfox, just another vet, JVolvo's Mom (in memoriam), jwinIL14, Kai99, kailuacaton, Kamakhya, kat herder, katchen, Kelly of PA, khloemi, Khun David, Kitsap River, kittania, kos, KrazyKitten, Kristina40, Ksholl, labwitchy, ladypockt, Lahdee, LamontCranston, langerdang, LarsThorwald, LA rupert, last starfighter, LaughingPlanet, Laurie Gator, Lava20, Leo in NJ, LiberalVol, lightarty, Limelite, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, Lonely Liberal in PA, Lonely Texan, longislandny, Lorinda Pike, LtdEdishn, lunacat, lunachickie, luvsathoroughbred, lying eyes, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, MargaretPOA, Marjmar, Mark E Andersen (Kodiak54), marknspokane, marsanges, maryabein, Matf, Matt Esler, Maxiemax, maybeeso in michigan, MBNYC, mdemploi, Meteor Blades, Micburke, michael1104, MillieNeon, minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, Miz Trom, mjbleo, MnRaindog (in memoriam), mntleo2, mollyd, Mopshell, Morague, MotoGP, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, Murfster35, Murphoney, Mxwll, nannyboyz, Naturalized Texan, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nespolo, netop, Nick Zouroudis, NinetyWt, nokkonwud, NotGeorgeWill, notgivingup, NY brit expat, occupystephanie, oceanview, OffTheHill, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peacestpete, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, phrogge prince, pitbullgirl65, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, riverlover, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, shortgirl, sidious666, sidnora, Siris, slksfca, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, Smoh, smokeymonkey, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, SoCalSal, sofia, solo canoe, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, SpecialKinFlag, spmozart, spotDawa, SpotTheCat, srkp23, StateOfGrace, Statusquomustgo, stiffneck, stonekeeper, suesue, sunbro, Super Grover, susans, swampyankee, Syoho, tallmom, tarkangi, Tay, tdslf1, teknospaz, The Eyewitness Muse, The grouch, The Technomancer, The Termite, texasgirl99, theatre goon, TheGeneral, TheStoopingRabbit, tigerdog, TigerMom, Tim DeLaney, tiredofcrap, TomP, tonyahky, Toyotabob7, TracieLynn, TreeFrog, triciawyse (in memoriam), tripodisblack, Trix, trs, trueblueliberal, TrueBlueMajority, ttanner, Tulsonian, Turn VABlue, Turtle Bay, Tyto Alba, uc booker, UncleCharlie, Unduna, Unforgiven, ursoklevar, USArmyParatrooper, VA02 femocrat, Vacationland, valadon, Vayle, vc2, Vetwife, vgranucci, Via Chicago, Village expects idiot home soon, viral, vulcangrrl, waytac, webranding, Wee Mama, weelzup, Wes Opinion, Whimsical Rapscallion, willy be frantic, willy mugobeer, Wood Dragon, wolfie1818, Wordsinthewind, Wreck Smurfy, x, xopher, YellowDogInGa, yet another liberal, zestyann, Zotz}

^{Have you had some experience with the effects of smoking, and want to write a GUS diary or host an open thread? Please sign up in the Butt Can (Tip Jar), and name the day and time that works for you. The weekly GUS Diary Schedule is below, with regular hosts in bold. There's an open slot just calling your name!}

_{If you can spare a few hours, please consider hosting GUS. It doesn't have to be a permanent slot; it can be a one-time deal or just an open thread. New voices are always welcome!}

_{Not sure where to start? Just ask for help in the Butt Can comment. Seriously, it doesn't have to include specific elements or require all sorts of fabulous diary formatting skills. The regulars will make sure stuff gets carried over from diary to diary, so if you want to just tell your story or provide an open thread and host for a few hours, that's cool too. You do not need to be perfect, you do not need to become a regular (though it would be nice), and you would make some quitters very happy.}

Put that thing out! (You’ll thank us later, I promise.)

^{Wed PM: Vacationland}

^{Thu AM: Open}

^{Thu PM: Mopshell}

^{Fri AM: flumptytail}

^{Fri PM: Murfster35}

^{Sat AM: Open}

^{Sat PM: Mxwll}

^{Sun AM: gchaucer2 <3}

^{Sun PM: Open}

^{Mon AM: Open}

^{Mon PM: Open}

^{Tue AM: gchaucer2 <3}

^{Tue PM: Open}

^{Wed AM: Open}

Poll

12 votes Show Results

Seven Ways To Quit...

12 votes Vote Now!

Seven Ways To Quit...

Cold Turkey

4 votes

Nicotine Replacement Therapy (Patch, Gum, Lozenge)

3 votes

Nicotine Replacement Therapy +/or Pharmaceutical Support

0 votes

Nicotine Replacement Therapy +/or Pharmaceutical Support +/or Therapy or Peer Support (the "Triple Threat")

0 votes

Hypnosis, Accupuncture, +/or Other Holistic Approach

0 votes

Vaping / E-Cigs

2 votes

Replace Cigarettes with Tasty Pie!

3 votes

GUS: What's Your Sign?

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Thursday June 09, 2016 · 3:59 PM PDT

2016/06/09 · 15:59

^{GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside.You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy! A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.}

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs

I’m not a particularly superstitious person. Oh, I don’t mind the occasional silly bit of mystical speculation (IS the full moon making people act this way? Is Friday the 13th always unlucky, or is it just coincidence that I spilled my coffee on my work outfit and got bad news from a relative? I keep hearing this thing...is it trying to tell me something?), but I’m not basing my decisions on those musings. As a realist (and not just a regular, run-of-the-mill realist, but someone who deals in fact-based info for a living, grew up in a fairly secular humanist kind of home, and thinks science is the bee’s knees), I know these things aren’t OBJECTIVELY true.

But that doesn’t keep them from feeling subjectively true, at least in the moment. I think humans are prone to this kind of thinking. We’re always noticing coincidences, picking up patterns amidst the chaotic swirls of our lives, trying to make sense of things that just don’t make sense. And I will be the first to admit that every so often, it’s kind of satisfying to skip the reasoning and cut straight to the wild, baseless speculation. I can’t count the times I was looking for some kind of elusive “sign” that would signal that a particular choice or course of action was the right one.

What is The Universe Telling Me?

Take quitting smoking, for instance. There were quite a few years while I was contemplating a quit, but—because I hadn’t truly acknowledged the need to do so, nor was I ready to face the difficult process itself—it never got any further than a half-assed attempt to cut back to a “reasonable” number of smokes a day, and a vague sense that I should be looking for a sign from The Universe that it was time.

And strangely enough, when I actually DID decide to quit, on little more than a whim and a bad case of Ashtray Mouth after a marathon chain-smoking session during a big work deadline, it was because a casual comment by my then-boss somehow registered with me as a sign. Actually, THE Sign. The one I’d been waiting for. The right suggestion (QUIT! NOW!) at just the right time: when I felt crappy and knew why, and was ready at long last to be done with it. Switch flipped. I had my sign and my sign said: STOP.

I did.

It totally worked.

Who knew?

Maybe you’re like me...just waiting for The Sign. The one that points you toward something new and better.

Maybe this is it?

YouTube Video

_{Who’s Your Little GUS Buddy?}

^{1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bbwatch, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, Bill In Portland Maine, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding blue, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, 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GUS: You're In Control

Vacationland

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Wednesday May 25, 2016 · 3:40 PM PDT

2016/05/25 · 15:40

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Some of us have a complicated relationship with the idea of being “in control” — whether it’s a need to feel that way ourselves, or to exert some control over other people or situations that are making us feel uneasy or off-kilter. When things happen that leave us feeling out of control — like an attempt at behavioral change — it may result in a sort of cascade effect, bleeding into and upsetting our sense of control over other aspects of our lives. It can throw us off balance; make us feel like everything’s falling apart.

Why Do We Feel This Way?

We might have been raised with a strict set of rules that we’re still aware of, even if they no longer apply to our lives. Keeping our responses to things under tight control might be second nature, something we’re not even aware that we’re doing most of the time. Or we might’ve had too few rules or too little guidance growing up, leaving us feeling adrift and craving structure and stability instead of the universe’s default setting of “random chaos.” We might’ve developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms. We might even have developed into a bit of a Control Freak as a result (not that there’s anything wrong that, says the Control Freak). In either case, our reactions to losing control of ourselves or our situations (even a little bit; even if it’s just temporary) can be very unsettling and may trigger an impulse to impose order and control over the situation no matter what.

Addictive personalities tend to struggle with concepts (real or imaginary) surrounding self-control or “willpower” (you know, the stuff that would stop us from doing whatever thing we don’t want to be doing, if we only had enough of it). We think we should have more of it; we beat ourselves up if we aren’t able to muster up enough of it. This feeling is often accompanied by the sense that if we just tried a little bit harder, we’d be able to control what’s going on. But that kind of thinking is doomed to fail, at least on some counts.

What We CAN Control

This isn’t to say that we’re powerless, or not in control of our lives or anything that happens to us as we go about living it. Quite the contrary, in fact. But it’s tricky, because we need to learn how to separate out what is actually in our control from all the stuff we can’t do much about.

Despite what your Control Freak or Order-Craving inner voice might be telling you, you can’t control everything. Let me repeat that: YOU CAN’T CONTROL EVERYTHING.

Oh sure, you can control a few things outright, and you can even have some influence over a slightly larger range of things...but a whole lot of what happens to you and around you is well and truly out of your control.

You can’t control other peoples’ feelings or reactions; those are up to them. But you CAN control how you decide to respond to them; whether you want to them to get under your skin or drive you up a wall, or whether you decide to let whatever it is roll off of you like water off a duck’s back.

You can’t change the physical and emotional fallout and stressful experiences associated with undertaking significant behavioral change—they are what they are—but you CAN control your own responses to those feelings and symptoms and triggers, whether through medication or therapy or seeking out supportive encouragement from your peers (like, say...I dunno...these nice people!).

You can’t try to control the whole world one frustrating task or encounter at a time. It’s too much for any one of us to tackle alone (and don’t think I haven’t tried!). But you CAN choose how you react to those things. Figuring out better, healthier responses to the weird, random, sometimes infuriating crap the Universe flings in our direction is the first step toward figuring out that we can be in control when it really counts.

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