'Shave The World' -- Presidential blues with razor accompaniment

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Tuesday August 15, 2006 · 11:19 PM PDT

2006/08/15 · 23:19

There were times when he came close to buckling under the burdens of being the Leader Of The Free World.

This morning was one of those. It had struck him that it ought to be 'Leader Of The Whole World', and he couldn't shake the notion. His mind worried at it like Barney with a bone, right through his shaving hour, a bad time to be hit by a Thought Attack.

Shaving was one of the few things he still had to do solo. His Secret Service had come up empty in its hunt for a barber who could be trusted with a razor in the same room as the Presidential throat. One rash impulse, and kaboom --- it's Armageddon, way ahead of schedule.

So there he was, personally going scrape, scrape, with narrowed gaze and intense concentration. Not a good moment to suddenly find himself pondering his place in history. He'd finish up with patches of stubble, a couple of oozing nicks, shortly welcoming the scheduled visitors from the Church Of Christ The Fetus looking like a hungover Bowery bum in a ripped-off suit.
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On USS Abe Lincoln: 'Chimp's claims die soon' & other pithy scrambles

gotgat54

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Sunday March 19, 2006 · 5:21 AM PST

2006/03/19 · 05:21

In the I Ching, the fall of flung yarrow sticks yields patterns - hexagrams - which carry deeply nuanced meanings (had you but eyes to see). So too with the letters of words, phrases, sentences; they shift and change and rearrange to unveil layer after layer of significance. These anagrams can confirm or counter half-held suspicions, crystallise dimly formed notions, and sometimes nudge the mind into exciting new realms of speculation. Showing us how it's done, please welcome ---

Sibylline Scrambler! Speaking in a hybrid of Kabbalistic utterance, SMS msging, headline journalese, cryptic crossword clues and Ali G, she now does a virtuoso riff on the infamous advertisement aboard USS Abraham Lincoln, and delivers a thorough critique of BushCo, GWOT and related issues. Some are coy hints, some are damning accusations, a few are Tinfoil Town. But you can't help feeling - hmmm...something's getting nailed here, in such a manner that you can always tell the President: 'You said it, man, I didn't'. Read More

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