I licked Barack Obama. I slobered for him. I'll do so again. I also think that primarying the man, or withholding saliva from his campaign, is the most stunningly idiotic idea since Ralph Nader came up with his 2000 campaign. And 2004 campaign. And 2008 campaign. And 1996 campaign. And 1992 campaign. And 1972 campaign. And he's completely unapologetic about any of that.
So what's my deal? After all, it's not my job to lick the president--this one or any other. Of whatever race, creed, color, gender, or sexual orientation. Unless I happen to be in love with him or married to him, in which case, well, I would have a job to do in that respect.
Barack Obama is a politician, first and foremost. He is not my BFF. He was never in the running to be my BFF. He is not my boyfriend. That would be weird, because I'm not gay. And he's married, and I don't date married women. Or men, for that matter.
So why on earth would I lick him? There's no money in that, last I checked. Here's my take on that sentiment. President Obama is "ameliorative" for some values of that word--or any values of that word, for that matter, since I'm not even sure what that word means, but it does sound cool--uh, where was I? Oh, right... he'll all ameliorative, but not enough for my licking.
Well, here's the answer: I'm just batshit crazy and adore the sound of my own typing. And Kos has given me a place where I can type whatever I want, no matter how crazy-ass it is (as long as I don't claim that space aliens conspired over 9/11, and I would never do that because lately I've started to have some really strong doubts about that theory) and everyone will see it and take it as a personal insult and fight over it! And I don't intend to apologize for that, not to you, nor to the secret service agent who tackled me after I gave the POTUS a quick lick on the cheek. I intend to do what I always do at election time: look over the available candidates, learn as much as I can about them and the positions they espouse, consider the options deliberately and prayerfully, and lick the one that I consider to be the most lickable. It may wind up being President Obama--though if it does, I'll be holding my nose when I do it. Because, well... even though he's quite lickable, they don't call him "B.O." for nothin'...
That is both my constitutional right and my duty as a citizen. Anyone who says otherwise is cordially invited to lick my left behind.