The neighborhood is in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, my home town.
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Previous Neighborhood Stories
Jack’s Pet
Larsson Helps Out
The Golden Goose
The Diet Contest
A Halloween Story
The Great Bird Feeder War
We Gather Together
The Birds
Unwelcome Guests
The Fruit Collector
Farley and the UFO
Clyde Goes Green
The Whiskey Spring
When Martha walked into the kitchen that morning, the only thought on her mind was that she was awfully glad she’d set up the coffee maker the night before. Then she noticed that Jack was sitting in the window.
“You’d better bring in those zucchini,” Jack said.
“What?” said Martha.
“They’re in a bag at the side door,” Jack said.
Martha went to the door and, sure enough, outside there was a plastic grocery sack leaning against the screen door. She picked it up and brought it in. There
were two zucchini in it, each about eighteen inches long and as big around as a baseball bat. They were an even more threatening shade of green than she’d remembered.
“How did you know about this?” she asked Jack.
“I just knew,” he said. Then the phone rang. It was Cora.
“Did you get any zucchini?” Cora said.
“Ah, yes,” Martha said. “How did you guess?”
“Everyone for blocks around has been getting them,” Cora said. “Always left at the back door. No one’s ever seen who doing it. But that isn’t really what I called you about. Do you know Pearl?”
“I’ve met her,” Martha said. “Nice lady.”
“Yes,” Cora said, “and right now she’s really worried. She thinks their kitten got out yesterday when she brought in the zucchini. She can’t find him anywhere. He’s all black. Could you…”
“I’ll keep an eye out,” Martha said. She almost said she would ask Jack to help, but she thought better of that.
“Great,” Cora said. “Talk to you later.”
When Martha got back to the kitchen, Jack was still in the window but now he was looking intensely at something in the back yard. When Martha looked out, she saw Larsson on the back walk half way between the house and the garage. He was headed toward the garage but looking back over his shoulder at Jack. He was walking a few steps forward, then backing up and moving his head as though he was feinting toward the garage, and then doing the whole thing again.
“I’ve got get out for a while,” Jack said. “Larsson has something in mind.”
“You’re friends with Larsson?” Martha said.
Let’s say we have an occasional alliance,” Jack said. “Anyway, I have to get out for a while.”
“You’re supposed to stay in,” Martha said. “Remember the busy streets?”
Jack gave her a look of gentle tolerance. “We’ll be going over the yards, not in the street,” he said. “And we’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”
“Just this once,” Martha said. She thought she heard Jack snort, but decided to pretend otherwise. Jack streaked out the side door and followed Larsson up the walk. They were both going fast.
Time for that coffee, Martha thought. Then maybe I can figure out what to do with the zucchini. She filled a coffee mug and then went back to the window. Fifteen minutes, she thought.
In twelve minutes and thirty-five seconds she saw Jack and Larsson loping back into the yard. Larson looked as though his hair was teased up between his shoulder blades. Odd, Martha thought, but maybe not for him. As Larsson came closer she saw that the hair on his back was not his own. There seemed to be something else perched on his back. As he got closer still she saw it was a black kitten. OMG, she thought.
As she watched, Larsson hunkered down and Jack reached up to get the kitten by its scruff. The kitten hung on to Larsson’s hair for a bit, but Jack had a persuasive grip. Larsson gave a satisfied sounding woof, turned, and left. Jack headed for the house, carrying the kitten. Martha opened the door. Jack carried the kitten into the kitchen and set it down. The kitten just sat there shivering, looking from Jack to Martha and back again. Martha took a good look at the kitten. It was all black and had big green eyes.
“Now, explain this,” Martha said. She was thinking maybe she should get a blanket when the kitten’s nose went up in the air and started twitching. “Go ahead,” said Jack. The kitten headed for Jack’s food bowl.
“He was in a garage a couple of blocks over,” Jack said. “He’s been in there since last night and they haven’t even brought out any food.”
“Oh, Good Lord,” said Martha. “How do you know this?”
“From Larsson, of course.” Jack said. “He heard the meowing. He came for me because with him holding me up, I could turn the knob on the service door.”
“You can turn door knobs?” Martha said.
Jack shrugged. “Better refill this bowl,” he said The kitten had stopped shivering and was licking the food bowl. Then he shifted to the water bowl. Martha sighed. “Right away,” she said.
When the kitten had stopped eating, Jack picked him up and carried him into the living room. Martha followed and found Jack and the kitten in her rocking chair. She couldn’t be sure if Jack was cleaning the kitten’s right ear, or whispering into it. She collapsed into an arm chair. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jack nudge the kitten. In a moment the kitten was climbing her left leg and in another moment he was kneading her stomach.
“Ouch!” Martha said.
“Best to keep your claws in right at first,” Jack said. The kitten looked at Martha and blinked twice, very slowly. Then he flopped onto her lap and closed his eyes. He had a pretty loud purr.
“OK,” said Martha, “you’re cute.”
Later that morning, the phone rang and it was Cora again.
“Do you know some people are going around saying someone stole their kitten?” Cora said.
“Ohhh?” said Martha.
“I thought you’d want to know about it,” Cora said. “I saw Jack and Larsson headed into your yard this morning.”
Martha didn’t say anything.
“I know those people,” Cora said. “They’re not exactly animal lovers. In fact, they’re the ones who had the fight with the alderman over the electrified fence they wanted to put up. He finally told them to go stick their fingers in an outlet.”
“He won pretty big at the next election, didn’t he?” said Martha.
“Yeah,” said Cora. “A lot of folks know those people. Anyway, you’ll want to keep that kitty away from the windows. They’ll probably be snooping.”
“I don’t see why they’d want the kitten back,” Martha said. “They’d just shut him up in the garage again.”
“Ha,” said Cora. “I was right about where he is. But don’t worry, my lips are sealed.”
“Thanks,” said Martha.
Jack promised to keep the kitten away from the windows, and he did, but the doorbell rang that afternoon anyway. There was a couple on the porch looking pretty ornery.
“Someone took our kitten,” the woman said. “What do you know about it?”
“Well, I heard about it,” Martha said, “but….” She felt a bump against her right ankle. Jack was sitting close with his fur puffed up. He looked half again his usual size and he was staring at the man and growling.
“What kind of thing is that?” said the man.
“He’s a ginger cat,” said Martha.
“Well, we’re looking for a black cat,” the man said. He handed Martha a slip of paper with a phone number on it. “Call us if you see him,” he said. “We mean to get some good money for him.”
As the couple went back down the steps, Martha heard the woman muttering, “Easy, you said. Just grab the little rat, you said. Ransom, you said.”
Martha closed the door. Then she crumpled up the slip of paper and tossed it into the waste basket. The phone rang again and this time it was Pearl.
“Oh,” Pearl said, “I’m calling a lot of folks. I wanted to tell everyone that we found him.”
“Oh?” said Martha.
“Yes! I was just sitting in the living room worrying and suddenly a bunch of books fell out of the case and then Peaches jumped down after them. He must have been there the whole time!”
“All night?” said Martha.
“Yeah,” Pearl said, “But he only peed on one book. It was that copy of The Art of the Deal that my husband’s weird uncle gave us. Actually this was the perfect excuse to throw it out.”
“That’s great that you found him!” said Martha.
“Funniest thing, though,” said Pearl, “There was a note in our mailbox this morning from somebody who said if we put two hundred dollars in unmarked bills into the geranium pot in the back yard, we could have our kitten back. My husband said it was just a scam but I wondered if there’s some other lost kitten around.”
Martha kept calm. “I would wonder too,” she said.
Martha thought maybe that call explained some things. She went to check on the kitten. He was in the rocker with Jack again.
“Does he know where he comes from?” she said.
“No,” Jack said, “All he knows is that yesterday evening he was waltzing down the street one minute and the next minute he was in that garage. Haven’t you ever heard of a stray?”
“Someone may be looking for him,” Martha said.
“But as you know by now,” Jack said, “it’s the wrong someone.” Martha sighed.
The kitten slept for the next couple of hours. Jack spent the time looking out the kitchen window. He was very intense again. I guess cats get their own vibes, Martha thought. Then Jack said, “I need to have this window opened right away.” Martha looked out the window and saw a black cat sitting under it.
“Who is he?” Martha said.
“She,” Jack said. “And we need to settle something, so open the window right away.” Martha opened the window. “Now stand close to it,” Jack said. Martha did.
Jack and the black cat just stared at each other and made some sounds Martha guessed were talking. Then the black cat turned to Martha, looked her up and down, and looked back at Jack. She tipped her head up and then down, turned away, and trotted out of the yard.
“What’s going on?” said Martha.
“Well,” said Jack, “good news for you. She’s approved your adoption.”
“That was his mother?” said Martha.
“Obviously,” said Jack.
“But where is she going?” said Martha.
“Home,” Jack said. “She has a quite acceptable establishment a few blocks south of here. By the way, he’ll need a name now. And please don’t call him ‘Blackie’ or ‘Midnight.’ Or ‘Kitty.’”
Martha couldn’t think of any name that she thought Jack would approve of so she decided to sleep on it. She was just dozing off that night when she felt a soft plop next to her head and then heard a purr. Well, she thought, maybe that’s a good sign.
When Martha woke up in the morning, her head was on the mattress. She sat up. The kitten was curled up in the middle of her pillow. Jack was watching her from the foot of the bed.
“You’ll need to buy a second pillow,” he said. “You’ll also need some more food bowls. And food. He likes the gushy food for now, but adding some kitten chow wouldn’t be a bad idea. And you’ll need another water bowl. And a second litter box. Also, better get some of those two-inch furry mouse toys. We have a few sparkle balls left, but it can’t hurt to stock up on those too.”
“What?” said Martha.
“He lives here now, remember?” said Jack.
Martha looked at the kitten. He’d rolled over onto his back and was slowly waving all four paws in the air. He was still asleep. “I see,” she said. The kitten yawned.
By the time Martha had dragged herself to the kitchen, Jack was in the window again. Uh-oh, she thought. She looked out to where he was looking. Larsson was coming down the walk from the
direction of the garage, carrying a plastic bag in his teeth. He passed the corner of the house and disappeared and immediately something bumped against the screen door. She went to look.
The bag contained two more zucchini, looking even more alarming than the first two. Martha hauled it into the kitchen.
“Larsson is bringing these?” she asked Jack.
“He’s on his second round with the distribution,” Jack said. “His humans have a bumper crop this year.” He yawned. “It’s their own fault for putting in half a dozen plants. Larsson tried to warn them. He even dug out a couple of the extras but they just said ‘bad dog’ and put them back. So now, he’s got this distribution job. Of course, the humans don’t know how the inedibles are disappearing, but I imagine they’re relieved anyway.”
Martha sighed and started filling the cat-food dishes. The kitten watched as she set them down, then he tucked right in. “Good boy,” Martha said.
“He still needs a name,” Jack said.
