I tend to lurk here, rather than actively participate, and I haven’t posted a diary in about 8 years, since the first Obama campaign. But Trump’s attack on Mr. and Mrs. Khan has so raised my ire that I thought I’d share some perspective from my family. I’m the only Dem in my immediate family and (especially as a full-throttle progressive) tend to avoid political conversations with my father, a 92-year-old retired US Army colonel, and my siblings, who are not particularly interested in politics but have absorbed and thus repeat far too many Fox News talking points.
But this year is different, and during the primaries, each of them mentioned their concerns about Trump. He lost my father over the attack on John McCain; for my siblings, it was the full range of boorish, know-nothing behavior. But at that point, they were still weighing whether, if Trump were the nominee, they would vote for him over the much-hated Hillary. The events of the last few days have turned every one of these lifelong Republicans into ardent NeverTrumpers, because we, too, are a Gold Star family.
The loss of a family member in active service reverberates through generations in ways that are difficult to explain. My uncle died in a Japanese prison camp during the Second World War, and the grief shattered my mother’s family. Ironically, my mother married a career officer, who soon was off on a tour of duty in Korea. When he deployed to Vietnam, her history and all the stress of military life led her to openly worry about how she’d handle life alone with five children. By the time my father returned, she had met someone else, and she told both my father and us that she needed to find stability and safety in a nonmilitary life. But as we all know, fate deals cruel hands. The war lasted long enough to snag my oldest brother in the draft. He never came home.
I’m the only member of my family who watched the Democratic convention, and I wept for the Khan’s and their grief. My siblings have since watched the speech online, but my father can’t face it. Nor can any of them face the prospect of Trump in the White House. My father has declared that for the first time in his life—and for what will likely be his last presidential election—he won’t vote at all. I doubt I can persuade my siblings to vote for Hillary, but I can guarantee they won’t vote for Trump.
Yes, this is just one personal story. But I know the depth of the bonds among those who serve and among military families, and many will stand united against Trump.
