Todd Loik, Amanda Todd, Rehtaeh Parsons, Jamie Hubley. These are names familiar to many that read or watch the news regularly. All of them were teenagers, and all of them committed suicide.
Their deaths are being blamed on cyber bullying. The latest trend in a ‘problem’ that has been going on for hundreds of generations. The only difference between the way teenagers are bullied today, and the way I was bullied two decades ago is the technology available to do it. When I was getting bullied, it was verbal and physical. The cyber thing didn’t exist yet.
Facebook is a wonderful tool, when used properly. It allows us to communicate with family and friends in entirely new ways. It allows us to connect with people all over the world who share similar interests. As evidenced by these suicides, however, when improperly used, it can be devastating.
That being said, why are lawmakers getting involved in this issue and passing new laws to combat what they are calling a “new problem”? Bullying is by no means a new problem. In my opinion, the new problem is in a lack of parenting. When I was a child, my parents made a point of knowing where I was going, who I was with, when I would be home, etc. Then, although they trusted me, they still verified. Phone calls to a friend’s parents… A drive by their house to make sure I was there… Staying up late to make sure I made it home before curfew, and when I didn’t, being there when I got home to punish me. I’m convinced that if Facebook had existed, they would have ensured that they knew my account password, checked it when I wasn’t home, and made sure I was only on it at home where they could see it.
I have two children of my own. They are still too young for Facebook at seven and five years old. When they are old enough for it, I will do what all parents should be doing. I will have their account passwords, I will check it when they aren’t expecting it, and when home, they will only log in on the family computer in the living room, where I can see them do it. Am I invading their privacy, as I’m sure some parents (and non-parents) will claim? No, I’m not. You see, as my children, they are my legal and moral responsibility. Until they are adults, they have no privacy from me. That way, if they are being cyber bullied, I can go to the parents of the offenders to get it to stop. If it doesn’t, I can report the offending children (and their parents) to the police for harassment, and make sure it ends.
I will not lose my child to suicide because of Facebook and the cyber bullying that goes on there (and other places), and neither should anyone else. However, we don’t need more laws to make that happen. Just more parents.
