There simply aren't enough capital letters, exclamation points and uses of the word BREAKING!!!!!!!!! in all rude caps with a shit ton of meaningless exclamation points after it to express how important it is that you IMMEDIATELY drop all your canvassing, phone banking, and downloading of Sarah Palin-lookalike porn to start worrying 24/7 about the critical question of whether Joe the Plumber might actually be a killer cyborg sent by time machine from the future to reverse-freep that PBS poll about Sarah Palin's qualifications that's been stuck at 49-49 since 1972, either that or he's that asshole who did such a shitty job patching up my driveway, promised to fix it, then never did. Or he might be some McCain undercover operative, or Satan or something.
Did I forget to mention BREAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!