I grew up next to a lesbian couple. I was under the impression they were "best friends" (also technically correct) and it took an embarrassingly long time for me to figure out the full picture. A lot of things made more sense when I realized that. Sadly, one of the things that made more sense to me is that they always had a rather secure house, including terrifyingly large german shepherds outside in their fenced-in yard.
When one of the couple passed away, I ended up with their Scrabble board. They had played frequently, but the grieving woman next door (not a "widow", not legally, not then) no longer wanted it. I still have it, many years later.
The idea of "gay marriage" didn't enter my mind, as far as I can remember, until college (circa 1988). I remember mentally rolling my eyes, not at the idea itself so much, but at the idea that anyone thought such a thing could ever happen in the forseeable future. What a pie in the sky idea! Let's get real! You're overreaching! Of course, even interracial marriage was none too popular at the time (check out this eye-opening XKCD comic: "Marriage").
Over the last decade-plus it's hard for me to believe the shift that has taken place, both legally and in the views of the US population at large. As the graph in the XKCD comic shows, the public opinion has been far ahead of the legal status of same-sex marriage. That's definitely the most surprising thing to me, and it's a wonderful surprise. I assumed that if such a unlikely thing as same-sex marriage ever happened, the general public would have to be dragged kicking and screaming, much like what happened with interracial marriage.
I don't pretend to understand why things have gone this way at this time, but I hope I understand what has happened. I don't think it's just a matter of "what ever two consenting adults want to do in their bedroom is none of my business". Certainly sex is an important part of marriage and who we are as people, but it's only part, and that alone wouldn't sway public opinion on this. What I hope is that people realize that gay people are, first and foremost, people, and want the things that people want, including things like love, security, and companionship.
This is about best friends, playing Scrabble, as much as it is about the bedroom. I'll have a little celebratory toast to marriage equality this weekend, and I'll remember my neighbors, Lill and Allie, who were never able to be fully acknowledged as what they really were - a married couple, who lived as such until parted by death.
